The Trick Title of the Chapter to the Agnostic – Doug R.

About This Speaker Tape

A bedspread soaked in whiskey. 3:00 AM. Doug R. is on his hands and knees, sucking the alcohol out of the fabric like a Hoover vacuum because he is too frugal to waste a drop, even though he is done drinking for the night. This is the bottom: not a tragedy, but a farce.

Doug entered the rooms as a "wall leaner," auditing the scene from the cool section and judging the "lameness" of sobriety cakes and off-key singing. He viewed AA as a secular escape for smart people, only to find a "trick title" in the chapter for agnostics. He spent his first night reading that chapter six times, pouring a drink between each pass, searching for a way out of the "God stuff." Instead, he found a paradox: a Higher Power that doesn't make too hard terms on those who seek it. From mooning a bride's mother to faking sobriety chips, Doug traces the distance between the "Dugster" and a man who finally stopped fighting the music.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and reflections on sobriety milestones.
• 11:30 Laughter: Story about mooning a bride's mother at a wedding.
• 18:45 The 'cool section' and the experience of being a 'wall leaner' at his first meeting.
• 25:10 Discussion of the Big Book and the 'We Agnostics' chapter.
• 34:20 Reflections on the 1960s psychedelic circuit and his time in the Broadway show 'Hair'.
• 42:15 The turning point: sucking whiskey from a bedspread and a prayer of desperation.
• 48:30 The 'bogus chips' and the miracle of encountering AA members everywhere.
• 55:10 The 'music' vs 'lyrics' metaphor for understanding the program.
• 1:02:15 Step 9: The process of paying back $7,200 to his father.
• 1:08:40 Closing thoughts on the personalized gifts that come with working the 12 Steps.