The Three Types of Alcoholics in the Big Book – Doug M.

all right are we ready for the third hour comedy hour doug m from jacksonville florida did everybody enjoy their cigarette ah this doesn't harm me everyone would just get off my case right smoking. I'm trying to fix this. Okay. All right. We're good. We are good. We are work at the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous here in Copenhagen, Denmark. I'm excited to be here. My name is Doug and I am an alcoholic. All right. This is what I would like to do. Turn to page 20. Turn to page twenty. Page twenty. At the top of the page, at the top of the age twenty, I want you to highlight this. Our very lives. circle the word very lives. So that means this is a life and death statement that they're about ready to make, isn't it? Our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depends upon the constant thought of others and how we may help their needs. This is not a selfish program, as you may hear sometimes. I work a selfish program. Well, that's good for you. Our very lives depend upon thinking about each other. Our Very Lives depend upon helping each other's. I don't know if you hear in the States, you hear something happens on 366th day. Wait one year. Wait one year before you sponsor somebody. I just told you our Very Lives defend on sponsoring people. And you got Yahoo's out there saying, wait one year to sponsor somebody. What happens on 366? All of a sudden we get this spiritual transformation. I mean, uh, we, we could get divorced. We can get new jobs. We could sponsor people. 306. Thank God, Bill Wilson, the original founder never did that. It took him six days before he was able to sponsor someone. somebody. And that was just because he couldn't write. He shook so much, all right? Six days, he got up out of bed and he started sponsoring people because he knew his very life depended on helping others. Once you finish the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, once you have worked the steps as a newcomer, then you have something to share. Share it. Six weeks, 10 years, 13 years, it doesn't matter, okay? Start sharing it. The icing on the cake you're thinking of, okay. Now I want you to go down to the first paragraph on page 20 and about five lines down it says we have recovered from a seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body. We have recovered from that. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may be already asking what do I do. In the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, they're going to answer the question in the next paragraph always. So it says here, it is the purpose of this book to answer these questions vaguely. Or does it say specifically? It says specifically. To answer these questions, hey, how do I get sober? Oh, I'm going to enter it specifically. Okay? It's not too tough, is it? Specifically. I want you to go down to the, um, I want you to do this. I'm going to go down to page 20. One, two, three. Third paragraph. Are you ready? Write this. Three types of alcoholics. They're about ready to tell you the three types of alcoholics, all right? Number one, let's do a little test here. Now, you don't have to get up and leave if you're not an alcoholic, but let's see if you pass this test. You ready? Number one, moderate drinker. I want you to box it in. It's a moderate drinker." I never even understood what that word moderation was, but I'll read it. I'll read it. It says here, moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have a good reason for it. Okay? They can take it or leave it alone. Okay, so that's not me. All right? They could take it and leave it. Take it or Leave it alone? Whatever. I guess there's people out there. All right. Let's go to the next paragraph. Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. Hard drinker, we are infiltrated with hard drinkers here in Alcoholics Anonymous. We are infiltrated With them and they're killing us and they don't mean to. They don't mean to, so don't get upset with them. But they were people who are able to stop or moderate. Moderate? Doesn't that mean like, let's have a couple drinks? Let's have a couple of drinks after work. Sure. Then you'll go home and I'll stay here on the bar stool or on the floor. It really didn't matter to me. When I fell on the floor, they stopped giving me two at a time. They'd go to one at a time, you know, whatever. So let's talk about hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years early. Highlight this, if a sufficient strong reason, ill health, falling in love, change of environment or a warning of a doctor becomes operative, this man could stop or moderate. Circle stop or tolerate. I'll tell you that in my story tonight at nine o'clock, I will tell you my story. And I will tell you a doctor who looked me straight in the eye and he said, you are dying from cirrhosis of the liver. My father died from cirrhosis of the river. It's an ugly death. I was 32 years old. He told me I had about 14 years to live and I went out and celebrated. 14 years! Rock on! You know, I walked into the bar. Hey, I got 14 years to whatever. It was like, drink up, you know? I had 14 years and I just partied because I had 14. I thought he was going to say something like two or three, right? 14. Are you kidding me? That's a lifetime. 14.I could squeeze out maybe 15. Who knows? So I was not a hard drinker because I was excited I was dying in 14 years. But now let's look, but what about the circle three? Real alcoholic. Real alcoholic. What about the real alcoholic? All right? He may start off as a moderate drinker. I did when I was 14, 15, 16. He may or may not become a continuous hard drinker And I was. I was a hard drinker up until about 18. I was able to, no, maybe not. But at some stage of his drinking career, folks, if you're calling drinking a career, you may have a problem. What do you do for a living? I drink. Sign me up, man. I want that. Any applications? Sure. Come on board. But he begins to lose all control of liquor consumption once he begins to drink. There we go again. First drink gets you drunk. So don't think the car is a lightweight. This doesn't mean that when they're in the meet. First drink gives me drunk. Loser. It just means that the cycle continues, okay? So how many real alcoholics do we have in the house? Nice, nice, nice For those of you who are thinking about it There's a couple tests you can take And I'll show you in the big book Stop drinking for a year That's what I did I laughed And then it says in the Big Book Stop drinking Go to the bar, drink Then stop drinking Do it more than once You know You can go there and do I did it yesterday right try it more than once you know well my wife has a half a glass of wine she's not sitting there going the liquor store is closed i got half a bottle of wine left i gotta go all right like us man i remember there was a time when my kids were two and three and in america if you leave your kids home by yourself, man, you're a bad parent. And I was hammered. And my then wife is a flight attendant. She's on a trip. So I'm thinking to myself, I can't leave these kids home. So, I know what I'll do. I'll pack them in the car at 3 o'clock in the morning and drive to a liquor store. That's what I was thinking. Okay? Thank God nothing happened to them. Thank God. Thank god. Alright. I want you to go to page 22. Page 22, last paragraph, third sentence. Page 22 last paragraph third sentence We of Alcoholics Anonymous are equally positive these guys are positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system something happens both bodily craving and mentally the obsession which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this Do you all confirm that? It made it virtually impossible for me to stop. And if I did, I was restless, irritable and discontent. It says, these observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink. The first drink is what gets you drunk. Thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem, the alcoholic centers in the mind than we think in the body. All right? Because if you can get rid of the mind obsession, then the body doesn't have the cravings. Does that make sense? So how did I do that? How did I do that. I did it after the ninth step when I finished the ninth step of which I will tell you my story tonight I had a huge spiritual awakening huge I was on an airplane it was embarrassing but it was huge spiritual awakening and I never had the desire to drink again no matter what has happened in my life ever I don't even default to that it doesn't even I don' t default to it I default to God but I continue to do nightly inventory. I continue to do daily prayer and meditation with my wife. I continually go to meetings. I continually bring people through the steps every week and then once a month I'll fly somewhere around the world and do an AA conference. Okay? That's the lengths that I go. That's what that's the length that you need to do. Make sense? 200 people shaking their head yes. Page 24 first paragraph I love this one. Page 24, first paragraph. The fact. Do we all like facts here? I love facts. The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscured, have lost the power of choice in drink. I love when people say, I got the power to drink and not to drink. I'm like, then why are you sitting here? If I had the power not to do that, I would be sitting here. If I got power not the drink, I just wouldn't drink. I wouldn't be in Copenhagen at an AA convention. I wouldn'T be even in AA. I just WOULDN'T drink. I lost that power when I crossed the line Okay, I lost the power of choice and drink does that make sense Okay, it says here our so-called willpower becomes practically non-existent We are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force The memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago think about this People sit in these rooms of alcoholics anonymous and they're like I come to meetings to keep it green Keep it green. I guess that means to keep it fresh. Well, when I was drinking and I walked outside a bar and I peed all over myself, I went back in the next day, hey, was I messed up or what? Woo-hoo! Right? Keeping it green is not going to keep me sober. You know why I go to AA? I go TOAA to find people like you to bring through the steps. I'm going to go out on the line. I'm gonna go out On The Edge. You ready for this? I do not go to AA meetings To stay sober My God in the 12 steps And AA will keep me sober In service work But I do NOT go to meetings to stay sober You do NOT have the power to keep me sobre I go to AAA meetings because I love you all I go TOAA meetings Because I enjoy it In some parts of the US I'm not going to mention any states because some of my tapes have made it back to some other parts and I'm like barred. He can't come, he thinks we're up there. They talk a little like this down there. How y'all doing? And they talk about their dog. Two weeks ago, I learned how to make chicken salad in an AA meeting. I sat there like, oh my God. You know, all my sponsors are looking at me. Say something. Say something, you know? I don't need to say something. I'll go to Copenhagen. I'll talk enough when I'm there. Page 25. Look at this. Page 25, I love this one. First paragraph. There is a solution. Oh, my God. Really? You know? I'm telling you, hide money in a big book and an alcoholic won't find it. Page 25... There is the solution. Follow me here. Are you ready? This is the Solution. him. For you relapsers, this is the good news. I feel like a mama. That's the Italian mama. They go like that. For your relapses, there's good news, you like that? Okay, there is a solution. Almost none of us like self-searching. Self-searching, that's steps four and ten. So write down steps four in ten. Self searching, go like this, four in 10, okay? None of us like self-searching. That's steps four and 10. The leveling of pride, the leveling of pride. That step one, when you admit you're powerless over something that is pretty darn humbling, isn't it? Step one. Okay. The confession. What step is confession? Five. Step five, right? The confession. Okay. Of shortcomings, shortcomings six and seven. Now listen to this for you relapsers. Listen to this step six and seventh, which the process requires for its successful consummation. The process of Alcoholics Anonymous requires you to do the steps if you're going to have a successful consummation in AA. So, the good news is relapsers, if you have not done this, you have never failed. The bad news is, relapsors, if you haven't done this. You have not had a successful consommation and you're constantly drinking. And you'll get a lot of hugs and kisses and, you know, thanks. I don't want that. No, Let me rephrase that. I love the hugs and kisses. I remember when I first came into AA, we had to go to NA when I was in the funny farm. We call it the funny form, the mental house. When I went away, they sent me away where there was padded rooms and guys with guns and stuff. And when I Was In This Padded Room, they'd send me to NA, Narcotics Anonymous. And they all kind of hugged each other, and I was like, bleh. And then you went to AA, it was like how are you? I'm doing well. shaking everyone's hand now i'll walk up to somebody shake their hand they go and put out the hand i'm like all right i'm mr hugger oh there's that doug guy again wanting to hug me all right all right I want you to go to the next paragraph on um excuse me the um page 25 first paragraph uh where we just ended up where it said successful consummation. Go down two lines and it says, therefore, and this is beautiful, when therefore we were approached by those in who the problem has been circle solved. If you solve something, that's pretty powerful, isn't it? We don't talk about that here in AA. Why? There was nothing left but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. That's the 12 steps. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into the fourth dimension of existence. That is my experience. As I look at you and you look at me, I have a three-dimensional object of you all. The fourth dimension is the spiritual dimension. If you have not felt it, you are missing the icing on the cake. So how do you get that fourth dimension? Work the steps, clear the wreckage of the past, help others, watch them get a spiritual awakening, pray and meditate. it drives me crazy when people try to belittle a god experience six weeks right people patting you on the head oh you have this nice little pink cloud pink cloud we call it in america it is not a pink cloud it is a god consciousness and i've had it for 13 years a god consciousness don't belittle your god don't be little you you could have this god consciousness every day. Work the steps. Help others. Go to meetings. Pray and meditate. And if you have a spouse or a mate, try it. It'll bring you closer together. All right? Don't demoralize yourself. That drives me crazy. Drives me to drink, as they say. All right. I want you to go down to...I want you to go to the next paragraph it says the great fact and here we are again page 25 third uh second paragraph page 25 second paragraph the great factor is just this and nothing less that we've had a deep and effective spiritual experience which has revolutionized our whole attitude toward number one life toward number two fellows toward number three god's universe the central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which we indeed are miraculous. It is a miracle. He has commenced to accomplish those things which we could never do by ourselves. If you are as seriously alcoholic as we, look at the word, were, past tense, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution and there is not. There is no easy or softer way. There is none. I work out with a retired, they don't retire, Marines are like the top of the top And he's not a retired Marine He's whatever they call him But anyway, a Marine He's 72 The guy has seen hell He says he has not seen more hell Than he has watched his 24-year-old son Going through alcohol and drug addiction And I said get that kid on the phone In my office today Did you hear me say tomorrow? You came up to me And I gave it to him And I told him Within three hours I want him through the steps Okay And the guy calls me up And he says, well, I just saw my psychiatrist. And then they brought me to the hospital. I saw a doctor and they're going to put me on an abuse. And then They're going To Put Me. I'm like, dude, what do you just go to an AA meeting with me? Let's work the steps. Well, they think it might be a little. I do this. I back off. I was like, you know what? I wish you the best. And maybe this may work for you. And I'm thinking in the back of my mind, 100%, this guy's a goner. He's a loner. And his father called me up. He goes, what are you doing? What do you think? I said, this is the scoop. You ready? Take notes. He will find serenity of one of two ways. And his father was like, oh, that's so great. Thank you for the good news. Either by working the steps or dying. And he says, well, is there like a door number three? I said no. And so I'm very peaceful with that because my heaven, my beliefs is, oh my God. you know i am not afraid of dying absolutely not okay and i don't know how he's doing i really don't breaks my heart but you know we see this time and time again but it says in the big book with working with others that you may lose a chance with somebody else so don't try to change people just let them go they'll come back alcohol is a huge persuader man i was to my knees when i got back. You think you got a problem? Whatever. Just help me. Okay, so it says here there's no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible. If we had passed into the region from which there is no human, no return through human aid, no return throughhuman aid. So if that is a true statement, there's no return through human aid, then how are the meetings going to keep me sober? You're all human. Oh, come here, give me a hug. No, I don't want to give you a hug, I just want to stay sober for more than a day, right? Does that make, does this make sense to you? I wish I made this stuff up, but I actually didn't. All right, chapter three, more about alcoholism, more About Alcoholism. What I want you to write down is more about alcoholism, is this chapter discuss what's going to happen before you take the first drink. Check this out. You're going to love this chapter. Okay. What happens before a relapse? So this, oh, by the way, this is a zero in America. When we make a zero, we make that. I did not know that y'all had a letter like that. Sorry. I'm trying to email all that American. Then all of a sudden, I'm going to end up on your 10-step list under resentment, you know, jerk off American. Oops, I didn't mean to cuss. Sorry about that. You may want to strike that one from the record. All right. Okay. More about alcoholism. You ready? I want you to go down to the second paragraph. Second paragraph. Folks, now we're going to start rocketing. This is step one. I want 200 people to take step one with me. We ready for this? We excited? Do you all think I'm like that Tony Robbins guy? Somebody said that. And I'm like, I almost did a deal with that guy once, but he found out who I was and didn't want to move forward. Anyway, step one, are we ready? This is what I want you to ask your sponsees, look them straight in the eye, and you say, do you fully concede to your innermost self that you are an alcoholic? To your innernost self, to your God self. Not to your wife, your kids, your work. Do you believe to your inner most self that after everything we just read, after everything мы just read... And I kept watching your heads go like this. Do you believe to your innermost self that you are alcoholic? Yes. Let's hear yes. Nice. There was a guy there in row five who didn't say yes. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people or presently maybe has to be smashed. Smashed. Why do you think they didn't? I think I did break this thing. Why didn't they use the word broke? Because if it's broke, you could fix it. Smashed! If you think you're going to be like another alcoholic and have a little cocktail and leave a half a glass of wine, it ain't happening. If you're not going to do If you don't think you're gonna do one line, might as well just pick up a quarter ounce, whatever, right? Okay. Has to be smashed. We alcoholics, men and women, who have lost the ability to control our drinking, we know that no alcoholic, circle the word ever, squiggly lines, ever gains control. Ever. I've never seen it. Okay? I want you to go to, it says here on page 30. One, two, three. third paragraph and it's about uh let's see here four four or five lines down it says we are convinced all 100 people were convinced a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness over any considerable time we get worse never better every time somebody goes out, I said, how was it? And they give me a horror story. So I believe you. I don't want to try it. I believe for my understanding and from what you all told me, whoever relapsed that if I go back out, it's like taking 13 years and just fast forwarding it. And it gets worse. I don't know how it can get worse. You should have seen them when I woke up at 325 in the afternoon, February 1st, 1995. It was not a winning streak for me, guys. I lost a month. I still can't recollect January 1995. Like what happened to it? Just poof, gone. Okay. I don't think it gets much better, much worse than that. Go to page 31, last paragraph. This is the one I love. I want you to write right next to it. This Is The Alcoholic Test. You ready? For all of you out there that of thinking about this. We do not like to pronounce any individual an alcoholic and I don't. It says, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest bar room and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Ouch. But what? Tell me they didn't know us. Turn the page. Try it more than once. You know, because they know somebody's going to go over. I'm good. looks good. See, I'm not an alcoholic. I remember I quit for a week. I was on morphine when I quit for a year. I thought I'm on an alcoholic, you know? Freaking idiot I was. All right. It will not take long for you to decide if you are honest with yourself, okay? If you're honest with yourself. Page 33, first paragraph, six lines down. Page 33, first paragraph six lines, down starts off in quotes. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking there must be no lurking, no reservations of any kind nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. So newcomers, get over it. You know, I need to put it a little more gentle. I'm sorry. Newcomers, you know, let's take it one day at a time and we'll work together. Get over it, really. Get Over It, Work the Steps, Help Others. You'll have a life that you would not have dreamed of. I have a wife today. My sponsor gave me my 10-year chip a few years ago. When he met with me, I had 90 days sober, maybe a little more. He says, what do you want? I said, and you may not all understand this, I have a hole in my soul that the only thing that fills it up is alcohol and drugs. That's it. It's a hole. I just want to fill up that hole. So he gave me my 10-year chip. He said, so tell me about that hole, how do we do? And I'm like, oh my God, I have missed it by a thousand percent. We so undershoot the mark. Most alcoholics do, okay? Think big. Believe big. All right. It says here, this is very big. Page 33, one, two, it's the second, third paragraph. To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities we do, okay? That's important because you're going to get a lot of people saying, well, you know, I only, I wasn't an everyday drinker. I was an every other day drinker, but when I drank my God, it was just nasty because I needed that other day to, you know, just stop the shaking. All right. And then I would drink on the other day. It was just, but apparently I would have become an everyday drunker. So I want you to turn to page 34. first paragraph third sentence here we go ready another alcoholic test i love this test though okay page 34 first paragraph 3rd sentence if anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area let him try leaving liquor alone for one year i read that and said are you insane i i and then i told my story about the week i said i want a week without drinking and then my sponsor, who's pretty sharp, started questioning me. And then he found out that, you know, I was on morphine for a back operation. Whatever. It says, if he is real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. Scant chance of success, that is true with me. It says here in the second paragraph, third sentence, second paragraph page 34, third sentence. Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power of choice, whether he will drink or not. Hard drinkers do not need a spiritual awakening to stop drinking. They don't. They just kind of stop or moderate. I have sponsored many of them until I get to this page. By this time, they're either staying because they want to learn a spiritual way of life or they're out of my house and I've done it many times dude, I say you do not need Alcoholics Anonymous you're a hard drinker you know nothing about craving you know Nothing About Mental Obsession you're fine, just stop that's it yeah no AA, no he's celebrating at the door, I see him years later they're doing fine I celebrate because I have to stay here I celebrate Because I have you All around the world All aroundthe world I have family Think about the magnitude of the bigness of this Two guys Two guys sitting together In Akron, Ohio After Mother's Day Really our birthday should be the first week in May But Dr. Bob had a few cocktails Because he wouldn't do the night step so that's why we're june 10th okay two guys changed the world if you don't think you could change the world you were so missing it you're missing it i'm getting calls from johannesburg japan australia we all could do this you could change the World you can just believe it we are so fortunate to have this way of living um i want you to do this i want you to go to page 37. Page 37, second paragraph, fourth sentence. It starts off with this. But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that paralleled with sound reasoning. Their trivial ran some insanity trivial excuse for taking a drink. Check this out. Mathematically, you have two parallel lines, correct? Two parallel lines. You have the, let's call, let's go right back to the big book. You Have The Mental Phenomenon Which Parallels With Sound Reasoning. So you have sound reasoning here, mental phenomenon here, right? Sound reasoning would state If I take this drink I lose everything This is what alcohol does with us This is alcohol Alright It just wipes thing away She's gone Kids are gone Work is Everything's gone Just that alcohol So we have this mental phenomenon And we have the sound reasoning thinking Don't take the drink Don't takethe drink Don'ttakededrink don't take the drink. So it's paralleling each other, right? You got this mental phenomenon saying drink, drink, drank, drink. You know what stops this and we're getting to it right now. What happens is this, it crosses right here in the second step. Can't believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, Sound reasoning. I did this deal. It was a big deal, and I'm sitting in Sarasota, Florida. We have a home there. If you've ever been there, if not, come. We've given it to the universe. We let everybody use it for free. That's another gift that I've given to the university. The universe is our home in Sarastoga, Florida, and it's beautiful and serene. But anyway, I did This Huge Business Deal, and I'm sitting around with all these businessmen in this, and it was November and it's like 75 degrees and the sun's setting and the palm trees are swaying and everyone is toasting. Right? And what do I have? I have my San Paglino. And we're all toasting and they're toasting and telling me how great I am and great, great, and great. Guess what comes into my mind? Wouldn't it be nice to join these guys in a cocktail? I've never had a cocktail in my life. I drink their good drink. so then all of a sudden the mental phenomenon comes in have that cocktail you are super hero and then sound reasoning crosses right here step two comes into my life and all of Aston I'm sitting at the table and I start laughing the problem was no one was talking they're like what are you laughing at and what am I gonna say well actually I'm an alcoholic and I thought about having a drink. And if I haven't drank it, we just gave you $2 billion. Yeah, come on! Okay? That's what they're talking about. The only way to get that is through God. All right. I want you to go page 37, 1, 2, third paragraph. It starts off with, this is a dry drunk. This is a person who doesn't work the steps. Tell me if you felt this way. Ready? In some circumstances, we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by, has anyone ever here felt nervous, anger, worry, depression, jealousy? No, everyone's shaking their head no. Some people are like, right? That's a dry drunk. I know people that talk in meetings 30 years. I go 30 years sobriety. or I haven't worked the steps a damn, I wouldn't want one minute of that guy's sobriety. I'm like, oh my God, drink. Here, I got a bottle. I used to carry a bottle in my car because of 12-step calls. Someone almost died and some people need to have some alcohol. But make sure you give them the alcohol like almost before they get there because what happens is if you give it to them and then they got an hour, they're like, well, you know, maybe, maybe, dude, you were just sleeping in your poop you haven't seen this the light of day in three years i mean maybe we're getting a little out of control here i think you need a rehab all right i think he'd eat alcohol it's anonymous but i had to take him to a detox because medically he was a mess all right i want you to turn to page 39 page 39 first paragraph all right here we go again you ready this is powerless this is the powerless we're talking about you ready for the powerless all right here we go powerless that may be true for some certain non-alcoholic people who though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time are able to here wego circle stop or moderate because their brains the mental obsession and bodies the body cravings have not been damaged as ours were but actual the actual or potential alcoholic with hardly an exception will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize to smash, second time they use the word smash, smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been to us out of bitter experience, okay? Self-knowlege is not going to help you. I had this really smart guy, dear friend of mine, Jeff, just got disbarred, just got this bar he's an attorney they took away his license in virginia he tried to drink himself to death in this manassas place and he could quote the big book better than me but he never practiced the principles made the amends did the four-step but he knew it self-knowledge he met me he's still sober to this day and it's i don't know seven eight nine ten years ten years probably now he's a wonderful human and he only deals with low bottom drunks. It's all he does because he was one. He comes pulling up in his Maserati. The drunks look at him like, could I help you? Yeah, I'm taking you to rehab. Jump in, you idiot. The guy goes to a rehab in a Maseratis. Doesn't he? He's the best. And man, he'll big book them all the way up. Here, read this. Shut up. You don't need to say anything. He's the best. He's this prayer and meditation meeting now in Sarasota. I want you to turn to page 42. Okay? The last paragraph on page 42 states this. Highlight it. Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve, circle all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and I hope more useful than the life I lived before my old manner of life was but no means a bad one But I would not exchange the best moments for the worst. I have now I would Not go back to it, even if I could and that's my experience today Okay, it'll solve all your problems just not your alcoholic problems all your problem You are going to hear a story tonight at 8 o'clock from a lady who has transformed in front of my eyes. That I love more today, seven years ago. We have a word, and I hope maybe you all understand this. We have an English word called adore. Does everybody know what adore means if you adore somebody? That's above, we have another word called love. Tiamo is in Italian, but we have it called love, I have my one American friend in the back and she understands everything I'm saying. I adore her, I just don't love her. That is something I never could have fathomed in my life. And I'm going to show you through the steps how I invented her. I swear to God, you're probably like, oh, my God. Tony Robbins, he's far off to the right, this guy. But I learned this through the footsteps, and I'm going to tell you how to do that today, OK? And if you settle for anything less, shame on you. Here we go, doing the mama thing, OK, all right. It says here, page 43, bottom of the page, last paragraph. Once more, the alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense, please circle the word must, come from a higher power. Are you ready for this? So, I find this lovely Italian. Actually, I picked her up on my flight. i was uh i was doing a flight she was going to rome italy and i was the captain and i saw her in the terminal i was like whoa you know hey and she kind of looked at me and smiled and of course you know being the arrogant american i'm like she digs me yeah and she was looking at the guy behind me so the flight attendant when she went walking on the airplane said excuse me the captain wants to see you up front She goes walking up front. They were pulling a prank on me, and I look at her, and she goes, excuse me, Capitano. And I turn around, I'm like, da-ah, ah. And the first officer was like, what was that all about? So that's how I met my wife. I picked her up on an airplane. So I pick my wife up on a plane. I pick her up in an airplane, she doesn't give me her number or nothing. Three years later, I see her in Charlottesville, Virginia. there. She says, a Capitano. And I'm like, Miss Italy. You know, she's got this long first name. I'm Like, Miss Italy. And we've been inseparable since. We get married. Then I go to meet Mama Papa. Yeah. Europeans, you know this. I don't. It's like, let's get married, you know? One of these American things. And so I'm sitting there. Her father's a brain surgeon. so he's good with a knife her brother's a doctor, an architect and he's like a sculptured god I mean they're all great looking I'm like so here I am meeting the in-laws and they're all around the table and the first thing they do is there's wine everywhere and they go to pour me a glass of wine and I put my hand over it wine's going on and the place goes silent now i'm feeling less than i'm in a country no one speaks english except my wife and i said did uh did you tell them i was an alcoholic she goes no it's none of their business i'm like oh my god i i i yes it is their business so now i think now i Think of course they're talking about me you know so I said come with me to the bedroom and it was because of this saved my life right here it says here his defense must come from a higher power I started calling America and no one was answering the phone it was me and God and that was it I had the obsession of drinking I wanted to fit in I wanted to be a part of them but guess what happened the mental phenomenon was happening it crossed the second step God came into my life we went into the bedroom and we sat there for 30 minutes praying and meditating now, they just met me I'm dragging my wife into a bedroom their ears up against the wall and they're like what's up with this American dude and what is he doing to my daughter in my room so we come back out of that we come out of the room and we go up front and I said, okay, translate. I am an alcoholic and they didn't know what that meant. And her brother raises his hand. I thought I was like in class. I'm like, yes. And he asked her, what happens if you drink? And I said just say I die and they have never offered me a drink again. The obsession went away and it was God. It wasn't the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I couldn't escape to a meeting because meeting makers make it. I escaped to God and what happened? I stayed sober and I have a beautiful relationship with them. Oh, and they adore me after five years. What is it? Seven years? Seven years. Mama just started saying she loved me. She didn't trust me. Me! You know, I mean, ding, little halo. All right, we're going to go and read the agnostics. This is step two. We're all going to take step two together. Then we're gonna take a break. Are you ready for this? this is the God part. If you're atheist, get over it. Ready? Here we go. What? What? Okay. Right. My sponsor kept on saying to me, you're hosed. You're done. You're going to drink again. I'm like, well where's door three? There's got to be a door three. No. Find God, die. How's that? Is that good? No. Alright. Here we Go. First paragraph. If you go to the fourth sentence, it says, if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, circle or. If when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you're probably an alcoholic. This is the first time they've called you an alcoholic If this be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which, circle the word only, a spiritual experience will conquer How do we get that spiritual experience? Through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous So when my sponsor kept saying to me I was hosed if I didn't find God He was okay with that Because he knew Step 12 states Having had a spiritual experience As the result of these steps Okay I'm going to put step 2 up here That's step 1 We'll go over that real quick But here's step 2 worksheet On the step 2 spreadsheet You're going to see a problem An action And a solution A problem What you need to do To get to the solution We just don't leave you hanging here this is what I gave you you have a problem you got to take action and you go to a solution I have a great friend here now and I'm not going to mention names he says, you know I have fear of speaking in front of people as you can tell, so do I and so I'm very modest actually my sister's got the modesty it kind of bypassed me but he says I'm frightened I'm just waiting for a sign you know and I'll know and God will tell me when it's right to. And I said, okay, okay. How many times have you been asked to speak? What do you want, a two by four upside your head from God saying, speak already, you know? We find these things from God and we just let it go right by. Woo, I'm waiting for a sign. God must be up to you like this. You knucklehead. How do you miss this one? Tell me when is time to speak. Your four guys coming up. Hey, we really like you to speak We heard what you had to say. God, please help me. I'm not ready yet. Get out of the mind. Get into the soul, okay? Get out Of The Mind. Get Into The Soul. All right, I want you to go to section one, two, third paragraph on page 44. Third paragraph on age 44, fourth sentence, it says, But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life or else we die. Folks, this is life and death stuff. We die if we don't find this. How do we do that? Steps. 12-step. Having had a spiritual awakening as the singular result of these steps. Okay? So relax. Wait until you get to the 12th step. Then if you don't get it, you're hosed. That's it. You're done. Okay. Page 45. Page 45, I want you to go to the first paragraph. The first paragraph states this. lack of power that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a power greater than ourselves, obviously, but where and how are we going to find this power? Question, here's the answer. Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object, circle main object. Its mean object is to enable you to find the power greater in yourself, which will solve your problems. It doesn't say alcohol problems. It says which will solve your problem. So do you remember in the beginning about 90 hours ago when I said, there's a main purpose. There was a main purpose, right? And the main purpose, it was on page XI. The main purpose was to show you precisely how we have recovered. Now, we have a main object and the main object is to help you find a higher power. Folks, why are we even going anywhere else? We got it right here. A purpose is going to show you exactly precisely how you have recovered. The object is to help you find the God, which will help you recover. It's all in the big book. So why should I, I love when people say, well, I got my own way of working the steps. Well, okay, genius. You know, good for you because I am not that bright and I need to take an easier, softer way. And that is the big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Does that make sense to everybody? Everybody's shaking their head. Okay. Page 46, first paragraph, 46, first paragraph, second sentence. Let us make haste to reassure you. That's my phone. To reassure we found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results. Even a willingness. You know what my willingness was? My willingness was I was still working these steps with this guy in Fernandina Beach, Florida when he said came to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore you to sanity. Do you believe that? I said, no. He's like, all right. How about if we try it this way? Will you believe that the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous have kept you sober? I'm like, yeah, for right now. Yeah, yeah. I could do that. Move forward. Move forward. Then when we got to step three, he made a decision to turn our will and life over the care of God. Will you do that? He says, no, I said. He says will you make a decision right now to finish the rest of the steps? And I said absolutely. See that? So he kept moving me forward. I hate these sponsors that go around and say, well, come back to me kid when you find God. I'm like, God, where are you God? You know what I mean? Walking through the woods. Where's that burning bush? It's the steps that are going to help you find God. You're just not sitting there thinking, you know, sitting like this. Jesus Christ. I haven't, oh. Do you love that chime? It's an alarm. It's the Buddhist alarm that I have here. Okay. So now this is what I want you to do. It says here on page 46, second paragraph, this is the second step promises. There's promises all through this book, and these are beautiful. Much to our relief, we had discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach. That was beautiful. Folks, this is for people you're going to work with that don't believe in a God, okay? It says here, as soon as we admitted the possible existence of the creative intelligence, a spirit of the universe underlying the totality of things, We began to be possessed with a new sense of power. Circle power. Now we have a new sens of power, so don't let people say you're powerless. You're not powerless. You have unlimited amounts of power because you now have a God that has power. Okay? So now you're being possessed by a new sence of power and direction. Life will become clear provided we took simple steps. So when people say to me, hey, where's that power on me? Do you work the steps? No, but where's the power? Do you worked the steps now? But where's it? Let's go on that little thing again. Okay. I want you to turn to page 47, 47 first paragraph. I want you to write second step. Step two, okay? Box it in. This is the second step I want you to ask your You will look your person in the eye and you will say this We need to ask ourselves one short question and you say to him Do you now believe or are you even willing to believe that there is a power greater than yourself? Yes or no? I ask you this question. Do you all now believe, are you willing to believe that there's a power greater than yourself? Yes or no? Yes. There was a no and that's fine. I need somebody to know if you would to pull me aside sometime during this time we'll talk. Don't feel, I think it came from the right. Don't feels you're different than anybody. I was atheist dude. You ain't getting much more. People would mention God in the meeting and I'd be like. I made sure everybody knew I was leaving. Okay? and I will tell you about my spiritual awakening after the steps, and you'll be like, whoa. So come get me whoever said no. And that's cool. It's okay. We're only on step two. Relax. It says, or am I even willing to believe that there is a power greater than myself? As soon as a man can say that he does believe or is even willing to believe, we emphatically assure him he is on his way. Emphatically assure him that he is on his way. Okay? Page 48, and this is to the person to the right-hand side of the room who said that they did not believe. Page 48. I want you to go from the top of the page, line two. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. So you're not alone. This sort of thinking, though, had to be abandoned. So my sponsor said, from this point forward, you will not stomp out of the room. It is impolite, it is unprofessional, and you're a baby, so stop it. Hold your breath if you want. I care less. And I stopped it. Okay? I want you to turn to page 49. Page 49, second paragraph, first sentence. We who have traveled this dubious path beg. How many alcoholics beg? we're begging now. We beg of you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion. That's tough, isn't it? Isn't organized religion the reason for all this love we have? Right? Oh my God. That's it. My religion's right. And if you don't believe in it, that crazy once again, God's up there like this. you're missing the mark. Wake up, people. Okay? This is choice. This is freedom of choice. Freedom of choice I'm going to give you freedom of choose and then I'm gonna give you ten reasons why not to use it. Here's freedom of choise but you gotta follow these ten commandments here or you gotta fall in this career because if you don't you're going to hell but you have the freedom to choose. Just make sure you choose my way if you want to get to heaven. Oh, and by the way you were born in sin that little baby back there I mean, come on. Wake up. I'm not going to say any more about that. That's all I'm going to do. Page 50. Page 50, page 50, okay? I want you to go to the third paragraph. On one proposition, however these men and women are strikingly agreed, all 100 agree on this. Can we even agree where to go for lunch? How about five of us? Or dinner? We're already arguing on where to go. Okay? Every one of them, every one has gained access to and believes in a power greater than themselves. This power in each case has accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statement put it, let's look at the record. Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a powerful power greater than ourselves, which is step two, to take certain attitudes towards that power which is step three, and to do certain simple things, which is steps four through 12. There has been a revolutionary change in the way of their living and their thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face OF total failure of their human resources, they found that a new, here we go again, power, a new power, so you're not powerless, power, peace, and happiness, and sense of direction has flowed into them. This happened soon after, soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple rules, which is the 12 steps. Okay? Got it? Page 51, from the top of the page, count down five lines. And this is a fact. I love this fact here. Page 51. Top of the page. Count down five lines. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. And I just looked at my sponsor and I said, they're all wrong. They're all right. You know, they re weak. They re losers. All right. In America, I would say a lot of alcoholics are on some type of medication. All Right? I don't have a problem with that. I will still sponsor somebody. But I do ask them when they re done with the 12 steps to go back to their doctor because most of the time, 99% of the time, they don't need it anymore and they feel kind of weird taking it. But I want you to read page 52 and I want You to go to the second paragraph. I want You to Go To The Second Paragraph And On The Third Sentence If I Walk Into A Psychiatrist And I Say This To Him, Hey Doc I'm Having Trouble With My Personal Relationship. I Can't Control My Emotional Nature. I'm A Prey To Misery And Depression. I can't make a living. I have a feeling of uselessness. I am full of fear. I Am Unhappy. If He doesn't put me on Prozac, he's committing malpractice. But you know what that is? That's a dry drunk who has not worked the steps. Has anybody in here felt like that? Yeah, I see some making it. Yeah, yeah, I know you have. All right. Okay. So it says here, wouldn't seem to be of real help to other people. I want you to go to the next paragraph on page 52 after we just read it. next paragraph, when we saw others solve, there's the word solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the spirit of the universe. We had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work but the God idea did. Page 53, second paragraph. I want you to write second step choice. This is going to be your second step choice? Oh, you took my stuff. Just write second step choice. You ready? I'm going to ask you this. When we became alcohol and crushed by a self-imposed crisis, we couldn't postpone or evade. We had to fearlessly face the proposition. I ask you, either God is everything or he is nothing. Either God there is or he isn't. What was your choice to be today? Is God everything? Oh yeah, okay. So God is everything. So if God is everything and you truly believe that there is a reliance upon God, there should be absolutely no fear in your life. Huh? Is that a pie-in-the-sky dream or what? let me tell you this. Fear comes into my life, but for a moment. But for a moment, and then it goes away. I do not hold on to this fear. I do not have fear. I don't have fear of losing my children. I don' t have fear of losing my wife. I don't have fear of drinking. I don't have fear. Live life like that. That is truly living life. I flow with life. I was talking to another gentleman who has a fear of flying. What we really found out was that he has a fear of control or lack thereof, okay? And maybe if you had a pilot like me, he should be scared, but no. We have other pilots on the plane, so you don't have to worry about that. All right? I want you to turn to, I want you to turnto, as I keep going, I want to turn you to chapter 5, how it works. We're gonna take a break. Smoke them if you got them. And what I would like you to do before you all leave, when we come back, okay? Right now, what we're going to do is we're going to pass around the basket. So please stay seated, if you would. We're goingto pass aroundthebasket. Or would you rather do it when you come back? We'll pass aroundthabasket when youcomeback. Go, go, go. Shoo, shoo, schoosmoke.