The Three Musketeers and the Art of Working with Others – John W.

About This Speaker Tape

Four months dry and shaking with the fear of prison, John W. entered the rooms sent by the courts. He didn't want a Higher Power; he barely wanted to be there, convinced that nobody could actually be happy without a drink. For John, the steps weren't a peaceful progression but an "inside fight," a desperate gamble taken only when the alternative was a bottle or suicide.

He recalls the grit of the early days: a restricted license, a sponsor who drove him blindly across state lines to meetings, and a fifth step conducted in a crowded Brewster diner during the evening rush. He admits to the wreckage of his past—the "chameleon" identity, the years of putting his wife through hell, and the cold reality of drinking for free at a bar after his infant son died in 1976. Through the wreckage, he moved from lust to unconditional love and from a shell of a man to someone who can finally look in the mirror.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Discussion of the history of the 12 Steps and the Oxford Group's six steps.
• 2:30 John W. describes entering AA through the courts and staying dry out of fear of prison.
• 5:15 The 'inside fight' with the steps and the role of a non-pressuring sponsor.
• 8:45 The routine of the restricted driver's license and the long car rides to various New York cities.
• 11:20 The fifth step shared in a crowded diner in Brewster; Laughter: John W.'s fear of the sponsor having a tape recorder.
• 14:10 A moment of anger toward a newcomer and the sponsor's correction regarding the Big Book pages.
• 17:30 The process of making amends and the two names still missing from the list.
• 21:00 The 'Three Musketeers' and the tension with his wife over the amount of time spent in meetings.
• 24:15 The sponsor's advice to 'give back' years of patience and love to his wife.
• 28:00 The wreckage of the past: the death of a son in 1976 and drinking through the funeral.
• 31:00 The transition from resentment to gratitude when being greeted as a stranger in his home group.