The Thorazine Shuffle: How AA Taught Me to Walk, Talk, and Live. – Crickett R

About This Speaker Tape

Crickett R. recounts her extraordinary life story, from an impoverished childhood as a crop follower and a traumatic youth marked by illiteracy, institutionalization, and electroshock therapy, to finding profound change in Alcoholics Anonymous. She vividly describes her early prayer to never feel again, and how, through the fellowship and a dedicated sponsor, Betty G., she learned basic life skills, literacy, and how to nurture her daughter without violence.

This raw and honest account highlights how direct amends and a radical shift in her understanding of Higher Power brought her from a life of stealing and isolation to one of deep gratitude, service, and a profound spiritual awakening . Her experience testifies to the profound impact of humility and the program's ability to restore sanity.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Crickett R. introduces herself, her sobriety date, and shares memories of growing up as a crop follower with an alcoholic mother and an absent father.
• 7:30 Recounts a childhood prayer for clear skin and her disillusionment with Higher Power after it went unanswered, leading to a belief that 'Jesus didn't like me'.
• 13:00 Describes her first drink of whiskey at age 12, a 'delightful' burning sensation, and a new prayer: 'Help me to never feel again'.
• 19:00 Details her years living on the streets, multiple institutionalizations (reform school, state insane asylum), and electroshock therapy, diagnosed as schizophrenic.
• 27:00 Discusses her physical and cognitive challenges post-institutionalization, including brain damage to her speech area, learning to speak again, and a 'socially retarded' diagnosis.
• 34:00 The encounter with Harry in a beer joint that led her to her first AA meeting, her initial prejudices, and her tendency to steal from the group.
• 48:00 Meeting her sponsor, Betty G., who recognizes Crickett's illiteracy and takes her to remedial reading classes where she learns to read and write alongside children.
• 56:00 Shares the challenging experience of becoming a mother in sobriety, learning to control her anger, and the profound impact of her AA community in helping her raise her daughter.
• 1:08:00 A powerful account of making amends to her sponsor, Betty G., on her deathbed, and the spiritual experience of Higher Power providing the 'missing piece' to her spiritual jigsaw puzzle: her heart.