The Third Step Prayer and the Relief That Follows – Tom M.

I'm Tom I'm a recovered alcoholic hey Tom I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth tonight can y'all hear me on zoom I didn't get prayed in so let me let me invite God in here i'm going to uh those of you guys at your first meeting welcome this is a this is hell of a ride just i'm like 40 years past my expiration date um those of vous that are familiar with this prayer you could say it along with me It's the third set prayer. God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou wilt. Leave me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those that would help by thy power, thy love, thy way of life. May I do thy well always. It says, we thought well before taking this step, making sure we were ready. We could last abandon ourselves utterly to him. I didn't get a chance to thank my sponsor says, we're getting on our knees and we're doing this prayer. And so I grew up in Gwinnett County. a place called Lilburn, and they didn't even have a stoplight until I was like 10 years old. Everybody knew the name of everybody else's dog, which I guess that can be good sometimes, but being the youngest of five, they kind of knew I was coming years before I got there because the sisters got an education, the brothers went to work, and let's just say we got in some trouble. It's a small town. Everybody knows everybody's business, you know. And the first time I ever had a drink, my dad was in the kitchen. He owned an irrigation business and he did like Fulton County Stadium, Three Rivers and all the golf courses. And he's standing in the kids and talking to a guy and I asked him if he needed a beer and he said yeah so I got it for him opened it and walked off and drank it all and brought it back empty and he just kind of snickered and got his own you know that's what Irish folks do you know I think they invented whiskey to keep Irish from taking over the world you know and if you don't think Alcoholics Anonymous is divinely inspired it was started by an unemployed stockbroker and a drunk, what do they call them? Proctologist. Thank you. Somebody's paying attention. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. So the rumor has it while Dr. Bob was still drinking, he was a proctologist, right? While he was still drinkin', he went to get the oil change in his car, but never done. He walked up to the counter to pay for it and reached in his pocket for a pen and pulled out a rectal thermometer and goes, oh, my God. They went, what's the matter? He goes, some asshole's got my pen. Okay, I feel better. Y'all are laughing at my stupid joke. If you don't laugh, I'm like dead in the water. That's not for you. That's for me, you know. So I'm on the way over here, and I'm riding down the road, thumbing through the stations to find a good tune to get me in the mood to talk tonight. Well, it comes on, but tequila makes your clothes fall off. I'm like, okay, whatever. So yeah, I was that kid in school. I mean, every school has one. If you dared them to do it, it was as good as done, you know. And before I came along, they called wild kids rambunctious. Then they put a label on it, ADD, ADHD. Let's give him some Ritalin. This guy's hyper. Let's gives him prescription speed and see what happens, you know. So, yeah, I was that kid. And, you know, I just didn't really – I was pretty outgoing and Gregorius and like the class clown. But, you had a little mean streak too. We had this game we played where you locked fingers and then you twisted each other around until somebody said mercy and this guy wouldn't. So I just broke his fingers and that didn't go over too well. That was like the third school I had been to that year and they were running out of schools for me to go to. So anyway, when I had that first beer, I don't remember any magic feeling or anything, but the first time I got drunk, I was 12. My parents were at a wedding, and we helped clean up afterwards, and at age 12, I couldn't stand to see half a glass of alcohol. That's alcohol abuse, not finishing it, you know? So when we were helping clean up, whatever was left in the glass, I drank, and I got pretty drunk, and I enjoyed the feeling. I enjoyed being the center of attention, And I couldn't wait to do it again. You know, and then at age 15, started doing some other things. Alcohol was a gateway for me. And let's just say I weighed 149 pounds when I got here. I look like I ate that guy now, you know. And so, I mean, I was 23 when I Got to Alcoholics Anonymous. And alcohol is a slow, sure killer. But some of the other stuff will get you there a little quick. Let's just say side dishes. I was that guy. Whatever you had, it was for me, you know. So what do you got? I was pretty much a good time drunk but if we drank tequila then somebody was getting beat up and a lot of times it was me I've got a lot of black eyes and broken bones just to kind of prove I got the last word You know, and so I got pretty heavy into other issues. And I got in a car wreck in Texas and I thought all these gangsters were out to get me. I went out there to work for my brother, and the police wagons would come through and round up the illegals that were framing houses out there. Of course, it's all about me, right? Selfishness, self-centeredness. I thought they were after me, so he sent me to the store. I made a wrong turn and just kept on rolling. And I don't know where I'm going from Houston, Texas with half a tank of gas. I was in this little town called Sagin and I had a pretty bad accident. They pulled me out of there in pieces and put me back together. They had to fly a guy from San Antonio to do a bunch of surgeries on me. And I'm in traction and had one of the nurses bring me in some pot. I'm going to talk very little about outside issues. I believe in the singleness of purpose and Alcoholics Anonymous. So, I told her I wouldn't do that until I got home, right? I've been in bed for like 30 days. It just took me out of traction. The next day, I'm going to start physical therapy. And I did that. I walked so far they had to put me in a wheelchair and wheel me back to bed. You know, the physical therapist came in the next day and went, you're ready to go, aren't you? So anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is I did what I did to get what I got, regardless of the circumstances or the it's not how much or how often you drink that makes me an alcoholic. It's what happens to me when I do drink. We've got some of these step books and workbooks and all this stuff. One fellowship got 70 questions on the first step and I'm like it's an intellectual exercise. My intellect never kept me sober. It kept me loaded. The big book is a spiritual exercise. We've got a couple of questions. If when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely. I say, hey, can you quit for your own, for good? Obviously not. We're sitting in this room. Or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take. I ask people, you ever overshoot the mark? You ever go to the bar? My place was called The Zoo. That ought to tell you what kind of place it was. and yeah do you ever overshoot the mark go there for a couple and the guys with you go oh the kids got baseball games I gotta go they get there early and everything's cool they might even leave some of their beer I'm gonna finish that and me I come two days later sometimes don't even know where I am you know And, I mean, even, I'm going to backtrack a little bit. Even when I was like 16 or 17, my grandmother came over. She was 90 years old. My dad poured her a little glass of wine, a glass like that big. It was like a shot to her. Drank it right down. He said, Mom, would you like another one? She goes, no, I'm starting to feel it. I went, are you freaking kidding me? To myself, of course. Oh, I couldn't understand that because when I start feeling it, it's time to pour it on. I have no control over the amount I take. My sobriety dates are March 6th, 1986. And I couldn'T tell you if I went to a bar right now and had one drink when I'm going to stop or what it's going to take for me to stop. You know, I step on people. I step over people. You know? I do what I have to do. I lose all control once I take the first one. And Dr. Silkworth said the only program we have to suggest is complete abstinence. It's not a moderate drinking thing. You know the first step says we're powerless over alcohol. Our lives have become unmanageable. And so there was a bunch of treatment center talk in AA and this lady came in and she heard people going, I'm powerless over people, places and things and just everything. And it burned her off and she took it to mean helpless. She went out and wrote a book about moderate drinking. And somebody brought me the article and everything. And said, what do you think of this? I said, well, I agree that what she heard wasn't Alcoholics Anonymous. It was treatment center stuff. Don't get me wrong. I went through a treatment center. But this is the program right here in this book. And it saved my life. And so fast forward a few years later, I was at the International Convention in Minneapolis in 2000. This article came out. She got on Interstate 90, I guess, in Seattle going the wrong way and killed a whole family full of people drunk driving. When they hauled her off, she went, maybe there was something to that AA. you know what are we telling people you know they say oh he he just must have wanted to drink worse and he wanted to stay sober or he just didn't want it and you know the responsibility is on us to carry the message what kind of message are we carrying you know um bill wilson said our chief responsibility to the newcomer is an adequate presentation of the program, you know, and I took a sponsee in the back room at how place this guy was like, this took him in the bathroom. We went through the first two steps in like 10 minutes. I mean, it's two conclusions of the mind and a decision and a prayer. And then I explained the fourth step and you can start, right? i've never seen anybody catch fire going through it slowly they say look it's not a race oh i'm about to get on my soapbox jerry it's Not A Race you've got the rest of your life to do that i'm like how long do you want to stay sick i needed relief so this guy had no objections he was willing to do anything and when I ask a new guy for one good any lengths I see that looked like oh man what does that look like and Mark Houston said if we ask him that it's our responsibility to explain any length means read write pray and help us it's simple it's a very simple program so we took this guy through the first couple steps And got down on our knees to do the third step prayer. And the whole room got lighter. All of us saw, felt, and experienced it. And this guy lit up like a Christmas tree. And he got up off his knees, and I explained the fourth step to him. And he said, I got a question for you. I said, what? He goes, I've been in and out of AA 10 1⁄2 years. How come I've never heard this? I'm like, it's in his book right here. So my sponsor, my first sponsor told me, bring a topic. Come prepared. Bring a topic and get the meeting going in the direction of the topic. and that's what I do because my experience is if I say does anybody have a problem they want to talk about of course we all got problems I'll take mine though any day and so first person goes I feel like crap second person goes I can relate and you end up with an open depression meeting what does that look like to a newcomer oh man they're sitting in there crying about all the problems and stuff i just say thank god we're not all sick on the same day if you don't have a sponsor bring it all to the meet we'll we'll help you best we can you know but but if you have a topic and the first person goes i feel like crap you go this is how it relates to the topic andthe second person talks about solution you end up with a solution base made you know so um this is just the best thing that ever happened to me so i bottomed out and and uh i was uh doing some heavy stuff and paranoid up for days skeletal looking out with looking out the window knowing there are people in the trees looking at me because we live back in the woods and so my dad took me to our priest and he recommended a treatment center so he dumps me off at this treatment center and I'm all paranoid and psychosis and I think I've been there to protect me from the gangsters that are out to get me right like this is like some government protection program and so i got into it with the guy and on the intercom they called dr strong and i found that dr strong is the people to haul you away to the other side put me in this like uh rubber room with a little helmet and all that kind of stuff and for like five days so after five days i came back from the uh the funny farm side to the a and d and something happened to those guests a couple of those guys in five short days all of a sudden my class client stuff wasn't as funny and and i'm like what's up here so So somebody came in from Alcoholics Anonymous that night, and I looked at him. He was well-dressed. He was welcome. He was very well-spoken. He was confident but not arrogant. But the first thing I noticed was what Bill noticed about him. There was something about his eyes. He was fresh-skinned and glowing. I looked to that guy. I went, this guy's got peace and serenity. He's nothing like me. And then he started talking. And Dr. Shultzworth said the message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. That's experience and solution. So he started sharing his experience. I'm like, oh my God, he's just like me. And then he started sharing solution and I'm like, I want that, you know? So I went up and got a white chip. Everybody clapped and I liked the attention. I don't know if I got it. I got a white chip because they clap for people and a good looking girl is giving out the chips. so i did it like four times in a row and i'm walking back to my seat you know four meetings in a roll in there i hear this lady going what is that a-hole doing what do you mean she goes you don't need another white chip unless you drank again so the next three meetings i went up there and gave one back till i only had one so And technically, I've only got one white chip. But I've never heard that story before. But I know we're not unique. So there was a friend of mine in treatment with me. And we had made an appointment to go get loaded. And I didn't have anywhere to go. They offered a halfway house, and I went. So I didn't show up. So about 30, I spent 34 days in 28-day treatment center. They said, hey, we want you to stay another week. I said, this was a cash job. I'm broke. So all of a sudden, I'm healthy enough to leave the place, right? So I go to a halfway House, and I don't know why I was the only one not at a meeting that night. but you know the obsession hit me I wanted to use so I called another there were numbers on their refrigerator I called some guy in another halfway house and talked to him for about 20 minutes till it passed you know I put my hand out the hand of AA was there don't even know who it was you know one alcoholic helping enough that's how we do so had a little girlfriend they didn't appreciate So they kicked me out. They said, you've been he and she, and when can you leave? I said, how about right now? I jumped up, and they went, hold on a minute. And they said, look, I mean, I didn't like most of those guys. They didn't Like me. But they said you don't have to drink over any of this. And I felt that. You know, that was unconditional love, you know. So I went to another halfway house and got another girlfriend. And I was in there like three months. And now I've got five months. I've Got seniority in this place, right? I'm like a house leader and everything. Oh, yeah. they came to me and said somebody's getting kicked out tonight for eating and shitting I'm like oh my god not again so it was another guy he was getting kicked out and they turned to me what do you think you don't have to drink over any of this stuff that was the first time I got to share something from my own personal experience so it was time to get out of there I went to the bulletin board and I found a roommate And Moved in with him This life is just amazing You know I want to tell you all a little bit about my God The things he does for me I went To, I don't know if y'all have ever heard This Tim McGraw song It's called If You're Reading This and it's about a letter he wrote in case he got killed in wartime and it says instructions on where he wants to be buried and it is kind of moving my dad was in the military and I went to the veterans cemetery up in Canton see him and my mom there and turn there I said it would be really cool if that song was playing when I left so I went there I paid my respects, and I left. I cranked up the radio, nothing, you know. And I went, oh, my buddy from high school, his dad's in here. So I spent a few minutes looking for his dad'S marker and couldn't find it. And when I got in the car to leave and turn the radio on, that song was playing. And there's guys who used to travel around the country that brought this book back to the fellowship called Joe and Charlie. And they used to say, is it odd or is it God? That's not odd. That's God. So sorry I'm all over the place, guys. It's been a long day. But when I had 33 years, Sandy Beach was a real spiritual giant in Alcoholics Anonymous. And they said the biggest years of his spiritual growth were 37 to 42. And I was like, my God, I hope not. You know, but for me, it's been like 33 to, if I make it to March, I'll have 38. And there's been more growth in the last 18 months than in the first 36 years. it's just amazing and but at 33 years uh i had a four-bedroom three-bath house and couple of nice things you know and and and i was really attached to that stuff and i won't go through a long drawn-out story but i lost all that stuff and uh I didn't want to drink. I wanted to blow my brains out, you know? And a lot of people rushed in and helped me. And I got outside help. And a little bit of help from the people and a lot if people in the fellowship helped me and some of the people in the fellowship were just like, I don't blame them. They didn't know what to do. They're like, well, let's get into talk. You know, they were telling my sponsees, you better run. He's not coming back from this one. and we'll just, you know, don't bet against God, you know, because he can do anything. So yeah, people came in and helped me out, and here's what I learned from that. It says looking back, we realize when we put the outcome, when we put ourselves in god's hands the outcome was better than anything we could have planned and i say um i rent a little room today i got a little business that's doing really well and maybe i'll get that stuff back someday but i'll appreciate it a lot more because what what i learned was things are replaceable but relationships are priceless I've met lifelong friends in Alcoholics Anonymous that came to my aid and propped me up when I had nothing to offer. So on church searching a couple of years ago, first one was good. Second one was mind-blowingly good. A guy I drove a truck with for years met me at the door. And when you spend 24-7 with somebody on the road every single day, You know each other pretty well. And I found a home there, and I'm not going to get all churchy on you. I'm just going to say that I had an experience there. I didn't see any light, but I had a sudden transformation of thought and attitude, and my mind has never been better. it's kind of like the third step on steroids you know I have a new employer I always believed in God I just didn't believe that God believed in me you know and he shows out every day you know so during COVID I started this little business and And for some, I don't know if this is a joke or what, but it's true. I started it on 4-20 of 2020. Just an easy day for a dope thing to remember, right? And yeah. So my business doesn't do hardly a thing in the winter. And I'm riding around one day without care in the world. I'm 180 bucks short of rent. It's Thursday. It's due Friday. I'm just like, I don't care. You know, and the phone goes off and it says unknown caller and this girl goes, who's that? I went, somebody with enough money to pay that bill. And that's exactly what it was. That's how God shows up in my life. You know it says being all powerful he provided what we needed if we kept close to him and performed his work well. Two things. Kept close to him, performed his works well. I went up to Canton to visit my parents' grave, asked for something from God, didn't get it. Did something unselfishly looking for somebody else to help somebody else and I got what I asked for. It just works that way for me. Now my pastor called me and there was a car that needed to be cleaned up And it was really kind of ugly. I'm not going to get into description, but I joyfully did, you know. And the next day some parts came in for another job and I'm like, what took so long? It's been like two months. And the guy goes, you knows what, I pushed the wrong button, just take it. 200 bucks worth of parts. I got a financial blessing because I did something without looking for it. That's how God works in my life. I mean, he just shows up. I was in a meeting and this guy was talking about miracles, miracles, miracles, you know. When Abby visited Bill, he said the air sat a miracle across the kitchen table, you known. And this guy piped up and goes, you now, we're cheaping that word miracle by overusing it. Something that happened, and he's very philosophical. Something that happens in the Torah, that was a miracle. The parting of the Red Sea, that was a miracle. He said something that defies nature is a miracle I went look around. There's 60 people in this room. Not one of them is drunk. If that doesn't defy nature, I don't know what does. You know, so I don'T think we're cheap in the word. i've heard it said that a miracle is uh something for which god chooses to remain anonymous i just saw a squirrel in mid-sentence i found out i have ados yeah it's attention deficit oh squirrel you know so i don't know if anybody can relate to that but this book is full of promises man you know But right after the third step prayer, these are the third step promises. As we felt new power flow in, new power, we enjoyed peace of mind. We discovered we could face life successfully. As мы became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, or the hereafter. We were reborn. Actually, that's right before the prayer. you know i mean every step has its own promises and i don't struggle i trust god more than i ever have now i do the footwork but here's where here's Where I Get Mixed Up and Experience Helps But When It Comes To God Sometimes I don't know if I'm like helping or interfering. You know, there's a poem. I'm not going to try to quote it. I'll just give you the gist of it. This kid's playing. It's called Broken Toys. And this kid's paying with his toy until it's broken. And he says, God, would you fix it? And he keeps on playing with it, playing with him. He gets mad and said, God why didn't you fix my toy? And he goes, my child, you would not let go. he got something better on the other side i heard this old country lawyer he's country i thought i was country don him from louisville and he said uh he said god lights my next step with a pen light he says he never turned on the floodlights and shown me the whole picture because i'd probably lose my mind if he did you know i mean or tinker with it and mess it up you know it's like i've got a plan my friends have a plan and he's got a plant over here he's not telling about and it's just it's the best thing ever so after step five see how these promises sound we pocket our pride and go to illuminating every twisted character every dark cranny of the past once we've taken this step Withholding nothing, we're delighted. We can look the world in the eye. And that's the truth. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. who feel we're on the broad highway walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe and you know higher power that bothers some religious folks it's in the book twice some version of God capital H-I-M many different names or G-O-D is in the book over 280 times so I think they're trying to get to something so there was a guy that spoke right before me and i really had to bite my tongue i know y'all find it hard to believe i did that but he was talking about you know god could be a doorknob or whatever and i'm like really this is the concept for step two i simply had to believe in spirit of the universe who knew neither time nor limitation that was as far as i had gone not the universe but a spirit of the universe and i wrote not adorned you know so but you get to choose your own conception for sure you know and god hasn't changed a bit but boy my my conception of him has you know And I was in another spiritual study with a guy, not a 12-step study. And he hadn't had a drink in four years. And I said, are you going to go to Mazzy's and watch the game tonight? And he goes, I can't go there. I went, why not? He goes, they serve alcohol there. I went. Either you're recovered or you're not. I said check this out. We cease fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. This is freedom right here. For this time, sanity will have returned. We'll seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recall as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally and find this has happened automatically. We'll see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. There's no thought or effort toward combating liquor, but there was some thought or effect in the step process. it just comes. That's the miracle of it. There's that word again. We're not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we've been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. We're Not Even Sworn Off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We're neither cocky nor are we afraid. This is how we react so long as we're in fit spiritual condition. And so and I said, look, man, I can go anywhere in God's green earth with two caveats. If I'm spiritually fit and I've got a good reason for being there. You know, I shared concerts at the Omni. Now I'm dating myself for like 11 years. And I came in the program. Had a major disagreement with a roommate one night. The Grateful Dead happened to be playing that night. you think my butt was in that Grateful Dead concert? No it was not it was in an AA you know and I got another what time we finish up here you got some minutes thank you I spoke at Rock Eagle 425 guys and I only had 20 minutes to talk and I was like all over the place and this guy came up and there's 425 guys there and we're sitting in the snack room just me and him and he starts laying out this graphic stuff I have no experience with but I'm listening to him personally going I know a guy that can help this guy and he's pouring it out never even told his sponsor but he chose to tell me and he's pouring his heart out and i said you know i know a guy he tells this without shame from the podium in front of everybody that's how unaffected he is by the trauma you're now going through you can get from there to there and i got i said there and I looked up and he was walking in 425 people he was talking in oh hey sit down listen to this you know so i sat there and listened to them banter a little bit and watch this guy you know when when you're spilling the beans and and they look down at their shoes and they're in darkness and guilt and remorse and shame and you go i've done that and they looked up like i'm not the only one i'm Not A Piece Of Crap and their eyes come on and the lights come on and they realize they're not alone and for a lot of guys that have gone through and gals that have gone through some of that horrible trauma some of the healing happens when you sit across the table from somebody else and help them walk in the darkness we don't have any secrets in here my life is an open book you know and i and that's a god shot right there 425 people that guy walked in and i used to tell him after because i spotted him for a long time and i took him through the book he already had a few months but he caught fire and and he would tell this stuff from the podium of mine general way man general way and then i realized this guy's got like six years he doesn't care at all what people think about him he kind of throws himself under the bus for that guy because every time he tells that story somebody with that trauma walks up to him pulls him aside and he walks him right from the darkness into the light that's a god thing right there you know That's not odd. That's God. So. Talk a little bit about step 10. No. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. I thought I asked to have them removed. I probably still got all my defects. I just have a little filter today. sometimes I can actually choose whether or not I want to act on it it doesn't just come flying out of my mouth because it crosses my mind so but we'll tell you after the meeting about I didn't know my microphone was on one time on a zoom meeting oh yeah so continue to watch your selfishness dishonesty resentment fear when these crop up we ask God at once There's a time frame. People say there's no time frames in the book. Take your time. You got the rest of your life. I'm like, the rest OF your life might be short. My sponsor told me my job is to get them to God. So ask God at once to remove them. Discuss them with someone immediately. Now the time frame, make amends quickly if we've harmed anyone. So if I've harmed somebody, I go to God, I go through another guy, I get clarity from those two people, and then I go to the person I've harmed. It's really simple. It says continue to take personal inventory in mind that when I was wrong, promptly admitted it. If I do that during the day, then at night, in the 11th step review, nightly review, whatever you want to call it, where we resemble selfish, dishonest, or afraid, same four things in a different order. Yeah, I was. I've already cleaned it up. There's seven simple questions. Do you owe an apology? Not anymore. Have we kept something to ourselves that should be discussed with another person at once? No, I discussed it already. Were we kind and loving toward all? No, but I cleaned it off. What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time or were we thinking what we could do for others, what we can pack into the stream of life? And a buddy of mine says, was I thinking of myself most of the time? 50-50 is a good day, you know. So if I answer those seven questions, man, I sleep well. I don't toss and turn. I had a sponsee bring me this treatment center nightly review, and it had like a hundred different emojis and emotions and stuff on there. And I'm supposed to pick out every little thing I went through during the day and attach an emotion to it. I said, so you can do this at night and stir all that garbage up and then try to roll over and go to sleep. Good luck. You know, we've got seven questions because the fourth step is an inventory of my past, wreckage of my path. It teaches me how to take inventory of mine, not yours. And a 10-step is an inventory of right now. So if I clean that up during the day, my night is great. But I'll say this and be done, though, about the 10-stepped. When I first started in the business I was in, I was working on this black Audi and I scrubbed a little too hard on the hood and it's got a super soft paint. And I didn't have a buffer. I could have straightened it out in two minutes. So I tried to do it by hand, didn't work. He went to pay me. He saw it. I saw it, nobody ever said a thing. He knew it, I knew it. Every time I saw this guy at Outflesh for like six months, I felt like crap. I went, dummy, you got a buffer? Go straighten it out. I said, hey, you know I jacked up the hood of your car. let me straighten it out in like five minutes he goes i don't care i sold that car four months ago so i needlessly suffered because of my refusal to uh oh no right so i don' t know if anybody got anything out of that but i'm done so thank you