The Thinking Mind as the Greatest Predator in the World – Peter M.

About This Speaker Tape

Newark Airport, a place where rude is the word of the day and the air conditioning is broken. Peter M. stands in a hostile terminal, feeling like a lost puppy, while the thinking mind—the greatest predator in the world—begins to scream that he should just go home. He describes the mind as a predator that creates drama and trauma, wearing a spiritual mask to gossip about others while ignoring its own demons.

Peter’s wreckage is concrete: seven treatment centers, stealing checkbooks from his father, and a period of homelessness in New York where he urinated blood and survived on boosted Twinkies and blackberry brandy. He recalls the blackest spot of his life—lying on an office floor with a knife in his pocket, watching the sun set, and asking a Higher Power for a cookie just to have something sweet. Now a custom cowboy boot maker and iconographer, he warns that sobriety isn't a straight line and that the "soul storm" can hit even after twenty years.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Peter M. opens by discussing the state of being a 'recovered alcoholic' and the blessings of the Spirit.
• 4:15 Story about a mysterious woman at Newark airport and the importance of getting 'Higher Power-centered' over 'Peter M.-centered'.
• 12:30 Discussion on the 'jaws of life' and the need for sponsors to pry open the ego of long-term members.
• 18:45 Peter M. describes his bottom: homelessness in New York, physical decay, and a suicide attempt in Staten Island.
• 25:10 Laughter: Discussion on the 'thinking spree' and the habit of inventing drama to avoid facing one's own demons.
• 32:15 Detailed account of stealing from his father and the failure of five different treatment centers.
• 45:00 Analysis of the 'bedevilments' from the Big Book and the 'soul sickness' of the disease.
• 52:20 Story about painting apartments for seven dollars an hour and the transition to making cowboy boots.
• 1:02:15 Discussion on Step 1 and the 'dash' between powerlessness and unmanageability.
• 1:15:40 The 'forward journey backwards' and the necessity of the death of self.
• 1:28:10 Peter M. reflects on the 'pruning' of his life and how losing his job in Texas led him to Florida.
• 1:38:00 Closing thoughts on interior spirituality versus the 'exterior face' we show the world.