The Spiritual Solution for the Social Animal – Beverly H.

About This Speaker Tape

Four years old and guarding the perimeter of the bed, Beverly H. spent her childhood hiding under covers with one eyeball peering out, waiting for the boogeyman. She describes herself as a "ten month baby" born with claws out, feeling a wall between herself and other children on the kindergarten playground. Alcohol became the only way to scale that wall, transforming her from a gangly girl with a clarinet into "Barbie" who could finally dance and kiss.

The wreckage grew concrete: naked chases down Huntington Harbor with a butcher knife, a marriage to a hardened criminal from San Quentin, and a career slinging beer in high heels. She recounts a "death march" through condemned motels in Palm Springs and the adrenaline of lighting a truck on fire. After years of living like an animal and suffering grand mal seizures, Beverly found a Higher Power and a spiritual solution. She traded the gutter for the structure of the rooms, finding that active service is the only thing that keeps her ...

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Beverly H. opens with gratitude for her hosts and a joke about arriving in a Humvee.
• 4:15 Childhood memories of night terrors and 'guarding the perimeter' of her bed.
• 8:30 Discussion of growing up with domestic violence and the 'insanity' of blaming parents for the disease.
• 14:20 The first drink at 11 years old and the feeling of finally being 'Barbie' and part of humanity.
• 21:10 Laughter: Stories of dating a football player and driving with a keg in the back of the car.
• 28:45 The 'naked and insane' phase: chasing a husband down the street with a butcher knife.
• 36:10 Her time in the Army and the discovery of the 'Bulldog Bar' in Georgia.
• 44:50 Hitting bottom in a condemned Palm Springs motel after a gangster pulls a gun on her.
• 52:15 The 'nine-month death march' and the incident of lighting a truck on fire.
• 58:30 Working the Big Book with sponsor Sharon B. and the realization of the disease concept.
• 1:05:10 The emotional turning point of receiving a leadership award and seeing her father cry.
• 1:15:40 Caring for her dying mother and the gift of being present for her final days.