The Spiritual Model of the Disease – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Birds Of A Feather Conference - 2008

Sandy B. maps out a life defined by the high-stakes tension of a Marine Corps fighter pilot and the crushing isolation of an alcoholic. He recounts the terror of flying with withdrawal shakes gripping the ejection seat as a fail-safe for a blackout and the deep shame of a forced grounding that he spent decades misinterpreting as hatred from his peers. Through the lens of a 'spiritual model,' Sandy dismantles the illusion of self-sufficiency arguing that recovery is not about adding new traits but about the aggressive removal of 'old ideas' and the ego's stories. He traces his path from a psychiatric ward in 1964 to a career in government liaison work where he discovered that rigorous honesty—admitting he was thrown out of the military for drinking—became his greatest professional asset.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction by Brandon; Sandy B. begins by discussing the evolution of AA meetings and the importance of listening.
• 5:15 Sandy discusses the danger of 'biblifying' the Big Book and views it as a treasure map rather than the treasure itself.
• 10:40 Detailed account of Marine Corps aviation technology and the 'primitive' shotgun shell engine starters.
• 15:20 Childhood memories of the Catholic church and the terrifying image of the crucifix.
• 21:10 The 'first drink' experience at Yale and the shift in how others perceived him after alcohol.
• 26:45 The terror of flying while shaking from withdrawal and the plan to use the ejection seat during a blackout.
• 32:10 The story of the 'oxygen emergency' and the subsequent shame of being grounded.
• 38:50 The encounter in California that dismantled his version of the grounding incident; discussion on 'old ideas'.
• 44:10 Account of the 'nut ward' in 1964 and the Major who announced his alcoholism at the club.
• 51:20 How admitting he was thrown out for drinking helped him secure a government liaison job.
• 58:15 Discussion on 'conscious separation' and the spiritual model of awakening.
• 65:30 Analysis of Step 6 and the dilemma of perfection versus progress.