The Spiritual Experience of Watching a Sponsee Wake Up – Adam A.

About This Speaker Tape

Nineteen years old and living under a bridge in Northern California, Adam A. thought he was living large with a bedroll and a clothesline by the creek. His world was a blur of meth cooks and floating down rivers with a keg in an inner tube.

He spent years as a chronic relapser, a gutter drunk who attended meetings while hammered, fighting the loud noise in his head that only booze could mute. He describes his early recovery as a ritualistic grind, becoming a "step Nazi" and a "rabid big book thumper" to avoid the void. The shift happened in the woods on a hunter's trail; after a quiet hour and a prayer, he felt the hamster fall off the wheel.

By surrendering his will to a Higher Power, the noise didn't vanish, but it stopped driving him. Now a hillbilly at heart with a fire pit and half-built sheds, he finds his purpose in the "God shots" that come from helping the sickest drunks wake up.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Intro by the Monty M.
• 4:15 Adam A. describes his childhood in Northern California and living under a bridge at 19.
• 7:40 Discussion on the limitations of 'meeting makers make it' fellowship without step work.
• 10:15 The 'moment of clarity' regarding the Big Book as a textbook/recipe.
• 13:20 Experience with Step 7 prayer and the 'hamster falling off the wheel' in his head.
• 17:10 Reflection on the difference between being driven by fear and simply experiencing fear.
• 21:30 Laughter: Adam A. describes his phase as a 'Step Nazi' and 'rabid big book thumper'.
• 25:10 Discussion on the 'three-legged stool' of recovery and the importance of service.
• 28:45 The spiritual experience of sponsorship and seeing a sponsee wake up.
• 31:20 Adam A. reflects on his history of codependency and his current relationship with his wife and children.