The Sobriety That Was Worth Every Day of the Wait – Patsy R.

About This Speaker Tape

8th Gratitude Weekend - 1983

Patsy R. maps out a life defined by a desperate lifelong pursuit of alcoholism tracing her path from a childhood spent blaming herself for her mother's death to a decades-long stretch of functioning in a blur of PTA meetings and bootleg liquor. She describes the 'metamorphosis' of her recovery moving from a state of self-loathing and 'human extremity' to a place of tenderness. Patsy dismantles the mechanics of the 12 Steps treating them as a 'divine surgery' that removes the mental obsession and spiritual bankruptcy. She recounts the moment of surrender at a red traffic light in Orlando the terror of 'drinking herself sober,' and the hard-won realization that her sobriety is more valuable than the approval of her own children. Her narrative emphasizes a childlike faith and a rigorous daily discipline of prayer and service to maintain her one-day reprieve.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Patsy R. opens by discussing the importance of anonymity within the fellowship.
• 4:15 Patsy discusses the trauma of her mother's death and her lifelong state of fear.
• 7:30 Laughter: Story about her first drink and the 'chocolate ice cream' lie.
• 12:45 Patsy describes the 'functioning' years and the defenses she built through social clubs.
• 18:20 The 'cold light of truth' and the experience of drinking herself sober.
• 22:10 The moment of surrender at the red traffic light in Orlando.
• 26:40 Patsy explains her daily discipline of praying in the morning and thanking her Higher Power at night.
• 31:15 Patsy discusses the necessity of her sobriety over the desires of her children.
• 36:50 Detailed breakdown of the Big Book as a 'textbook' and the nature of the disease.
• 42:10 Discussion of Step 4 and the 'moral inventory' versus 'immoral inventory'.
• 48:30 Patsy explains the difference between a 'defect of character' and a 'shortcoming'.
• 54:10 Patsy's final metaphor of the 12-link chain and the requirement to reach for a sick alcoholic.