The Slogans as a Handrail to the Stairs – Morris B.

About This Speaker Tape

Morris B. maps out a life spent as a 'zero'—a professional dropout who cycled through the Navy federal penitentiaries and chain gangs. He describes the wreckage of his early years with a gritty honesty from breaking his own legs to avoid breaking rocks in a quarry to the 'gory stuff' involving lye and skin grafts.

After decades of running—both geographically to the islands and mentally from himself—Morris found a turning point in a prison cold storage room where the Serenity Prayer was bolted to the door. He dismantles the illusion of the 'planned drunk' and the arrogance of trying to 'master' the program without surrender. Now semi-retired and working in mental health and treatment he views his sobriety as a gift he didn't deserve focusing on the 'here and now' to avoid the destructive negativity that once made him suicidal.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Morris B. opens with jokes about Noah and Columbus to settle his nerves.
• 4:15 Discusses the pattern of 'running' to islands like St. Thomas and Mexico even in sobriety.
• 8:30 Reflects on the pain of not seeing his children for 24 years.
• 12:45 Describes the brutality of the North Carolina chain gang and the 'gory' use of lye to fake injuries.
• 17:20 Recounts meeting a woman in AA who saw through his fake resume at an employment agency.
• 22:10 Admits to 'using' AA for five years, attending meetings while high or drunk without surrendering.
• 31:40 The turning point: seeing the Serenity Prayer in the prison cold storage room.
• 34:15 Step 1: Discusses the necessity of the first step over the fourth step for actual sobriety.
• 37:50 Mentions his first sponsor, Big Gene, and the feeling of rejoining the human race.
• 45:10 Discusses the 'character disorder' vs. 'neurotic' distinction in mental health.
• 52:30 Reflects on the 'empty hole in the gut' and the insufficiency of money and sex.
• 58:15 Closing thoughts on love as action and the 'narrow path' of spirituality.