The Shame of Saying You Are an Alcoholic in Show Business – Bonnie R.

In this segment, we are delighted to be joined by Bonnie Raitt, singer-songwriter, musician, political activist, philanthropist. She has been on the national music scene for a long time, has recorded close to 20 albums, has nine Grammys, and in 2000 was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Bonnie's a woman in long-term recovery, one day at a time, one song at a Time, probably one gig at atime as well. Bonnie, thanks so much for joining us tonight on Recovery Coast to Coast. My pleasure, Neil. Thanks for having me. Congratulations. Without going too deep into the drinking and using days, Bonnie, how bad did it get for you? And what finally led you into recovery? You know, that lifestyle of a rock and roll and folk musician is, you know, nighttime. And a lot of people like waitresses and people at working bars, all kinds of musicians have kind of an occupational hazard. I think it probably goes with late night radio guys, too, and journalists. There's a bunch of professions that really romanticize sex, drugs, and rock and role. And for good reason. It was a lot of fun, and it certainly was fine for me as a lifestyle until about my mid-30s, and it was something that just caught up with me. And I looked around at my friends who were getting sober, and I saw that they were producing more great music. They didn't seem to lose any of their edge. They didn'T lose their sense of humor. They didn' t become moonies advertising, and they seemed to be better in shape, had better, successful family lives, felt better about themselves and consequently the other people that were around me that were still partying. And myself, I thought I was slower to recover, you know, a lot of down time, more time hung over than when I was in my 20s, couldn't always remember what I said to people, was getting kind of sloppy. So for me it wasn't really a question of kicking and screaming and slobbering all over myself and or as we say a nudge from the judge thank god i didn't kill anybody or injure anyone i had more of a lifestyle awakening where i just said you know what this isn't feeling good it doesn't look good i'm not as productive as i'd like to be and i don't like who i've become and so i sat in on some meetings and i realized that when i had the great help of some other friends of mine other musicians friends they as we stay at the program of attraction and i was very attracted to the peace and serenity and happiness and freedom they seemed to have. So I gave it a try, and I just took to it like a fish to water. It was really a blessing that it wasn't a struggle for me. Talk about the making of Nick of Time back in 1989. Bonnie, it won three Grammys, certainly one of my favorite CDs. In fact, we often played pieces of that as bumper music on Recovery Coast to Coast. You were newly sober at the time. Talk about The Making of That CD. Yeah, actually, I got sober in February of 87, And by then, about a year into my sobriety, I went away on a retreat and was just so grateful for the changes that had happened in my life that I wanted to give something back and write something from that place. And Nick of Time came out of that retreat and really it was an accurate reflection of what my friend was going through at the time, you know, the picking up the biological clock. A lot of my girlfriends, you know—I was 39 at the same time. We were all talking about staying in relationships or getting out and changing lifestyles that weren't working for us. And it was a real gift from me to myself and to the world, really, for the gift that has been brought to me with sobriety. Bonnie Rae joining us tonight on Recovery Coast to Coast. You're constantly standing up and speaking out about your beliefs, frequently doing benefits and certainly giving back what you have so richly received. And you often speak to young people about your experiences with alcohol and other drugs. And back in 2001, you and Kev Moe did that great concert at San Quentin, which was billed as a celebration of sobriety and recovery. What was that like for you, and how important is it, Bonnie, to celebrate recovery? Well, I think you live it, and you broadcast to people without proselytizing. I think it's just stand in the place where you're at, and if you have some sense of peace and humility and gratitude and you're open and loving and kind, and naturally when you've had the kind of transformation that sobrietry can bring, it's not an easy task, at least it's something that we have in this great sobriety community all around the world on the road. I really wanted to be able to do what I'm supposed to do as a public person and share what I've gotten. For me, a lot of times that sharing in a meeting comes on stage or in the case of talking to young people about it or whether people write me letters or radio interviews. And the San Quentin experience for me was especially moving because, I mean, can you imagine the temptations there are in prison when there's such a constriction of your lifestyle? You have to learn to go in to get that peace and that joy. And it's a daily struggle, and we deal with it an hour at a time, of course, in one friendship and one conversation at a Time. And so I was very, very moved at the commitment to finding some kind of inner way out, inner freedom um that i was that i said i discovered when i was talking and before our performance we had a chance to really get to know some of the people that were in recovery in the program and i was very moved you know incredibly humbling body rate joining us for a few moments tonight on recovery coast to coast a few years back you received the stevie ray vaughan award for recovery spreading the light and helping musicians overcome the harmful use of alcohol and other drugs which by the way was presented by david crosby talk about map the musician's assistance program and the great work they do? It is really a long overdue contribution of the music industry for people that are trying to deal with all kinds of issues, whether it's psychological or, you know, the repercussions of the ups and downs of this incredibly fickle business. And I know just from having spent 37 years in this business and a lot of my friends, and I've lost their jobs, a lot musicians, a lof of roadies, the trickle-down factor for everything from, you know, booking agents to bartenders to clubs that have closed to record company people that have lost their job in midlife. At whatever stage, you're going to get slammed in a business that really has no solid ground. You're only as hot as your last record unless you're lucky enough like I've been and many others to build a following flow and steady from many, many years on the road. And it's just great that Musicians in Business Project came along when it did. But there have been really many, many years and many, many thousands of musicians that had no place else to turn. And it was an endemic problem in our industry. The industry had dreaded long ago, but never too late, right on time, as they say. And they've done incredible work at keeping people who have been too ashamed to ask for help. You know, that's the biggest problem with a lot of people. They're afraid they're going to lose work in whatever profession you're in, not just musicians or actors or show business. You know there's a tremendous amount of shame in standing up and saying, you're an alcoholic or an addict, it says you just want to get back to the workplace and want to give back to your family. And what's great about MAP and what's right about all the recovery programs, I think, is that when you walk in that door, you are just another addict. That's the thing that we needed to impress upon other musicians. And, you know, those personal calls by other people that have been there and tried to take over a gig, that makes all the difference. We've selected some questions from around the country from listeners, and for each one that we select, we will send them a copy of Bonnie's CD, Nick of Time. First one comes out of Milwaukee, a gal by the name of Laura. How difficult was your first year of recovery? And what is it like for you today? Is it hard not to take it for granted the longer you're in recovery? Very good question. You know, the first year was, for me, like a honeymoon. I mean, I'd say even the first couple of years, and I have to say that was true for me because, I mean my bottom was a pretty gentle one in terms of, you know, I wanted to lose some weight, I wanted to tighten up my health. In general, I just wanted to take responsibility for my own health, you know, physical, emotional and mental and I had no idea how deeply the tentacles of addiction were in my life until I started learning, doing the steps of going to meetings and listening to it and learning about addiction and how far back it affected my family system but I'd have to say that first year I was very, very lucky to have incredible support And I showed up, and I did what I was supposed to do because I knew that I didn't know anything about how to live unless I got some really good counseling from my fellow addicts. And for me, it was just an incredible return to some feeling of freedom and happiness that I hadn't had since I was about 15 or so. And as for the second question, I never take it for granted. I never think of it that way. We're around other addicts all the time. We're among people that are, you know, the big payback. We like to laugh. You know, I was just cornered at a party the other night by somebody that was kind of hammered and obviously had some kind of blow or something. And I just went, man, this is the payback for all the times that I've probably bored somebody. So, you know, we've all been in that situation. So every day is a complete adventure in terms of people that you can help, people that are out there still practicing, people thatyoucanlookupto that have had more sobriety than me. It doesn't get necessarily easier. It just gets more rich and more imperative to stay on it because it's not worth the risk. I mean, I know that we're all human and people slip, but people have to know that if they're slipping, you can always come back in. And I knowthat that wasn't the case. If I ever erred, I knew I could step right back in there. Seth has a question from Boston, a three-part question. He writes, many musicians fear that they will lose their creativity if they give up alcohol and other drugs. Was that true for you? How has your recovery affected your music? And what particular song of yours most relates to recovery? Wow, that's a great question too. For me, in my case, because Nick of Time happened out of my sobriety, that sort of song and the album, then I won all those Grammys and my career took off at that point. I can't even think of anybody whose productivity and success is more related to a lifestyle change like sobrietry. I mean, there's a lot of other elements in place, too. You know, VH1 was developed so they had to replace people my age on television. I had a new record company. Dennis Quaid being in the first video for Think I'll Love was a really good idea because they played it more. A lot of things concluded at that time to make things happen. But I really think that contrary to making you less funky and less effective, it really, if anything, gets you in touch with a self that's burning so bright, whether it's your sexuality or your creativity, I think all of those things get really, really vivid when you become sober. And all the little difficulties and the struggles along the way and sobriety because you're really waking into yourself, those are what makes the song sometimes the most interesting of all. I mean, people have always made great music when they were high. I mean not all people, but there's a tremendous amount of great music and literature and film done while people were high but it's a personal decision when it gets to be too much when it's going downhill instead of opening up to something that people really want to hear and for me um the songs that i probably i mean the song nick of time is really about a different kind of love it's not about a romantic love so the last verse of nick of time is about my recovery but there's a song called cool clear water that for me is um i think it's on belonging in the heart it's uh it's a song that i wrote it's almost like a prayer um and it's about about being able to dig deep and turn up the earth in your heart and winter ground yourself you know there are ways that you shut it down and and to just to be surrendering to a different kind of a love so kind of release and it's something that i whether i'm singing on stage or i just say it to myself you know that that call for help is just there on a daily basis for me i'm on my knees all the time final question from a listener jimmy g salt lake city i am a musician in recovery who has struggled mightily relapsed frequently and find it terribly difficult to be around musicians who drink and use any suggestions so my sympathies i totally relate i don't know how i got so lucky to be moved from that obsession when i'm around except i was i don'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE GO ON THE ROADS BUT YOU PROBABLY UM HAVE OTHER PEOPLES IN YOUR TOWN that are musicians that are trying to be sober as well and you know the way that i do it is just make sure if i'm having any trouble at all that i get on the phone or go to a meeting or get with another person who's a musician because only musicians are the ones that really understand ins and outs of creative process and being at the gig and waiting around and frustrations i know it's very very difficult to be in that situation professionally and even when you're writing if you're used to using pot or drugs to inspire you and suddenly you don't have it it's very difficult to find a new avenue to swing from so i wish you all the best and all i can say is there's community in gathering you know there's actually a book that's coming out on hazelden i believe it's about creativity and recovery um i don't know the name of it but i just did a blurb for it i forgot the name because i saw the gallery but i think there's probably some pretty good help now online within the musicians community as well. And maybe Matt would be able to give help. Good luck, good luck. I really feel for you. I hope you can make it through. Bonnie Wright joining us tonight on Recovery Coast to Coast. I thank you so much for your time and joining us today. Thank you, Neil, so much. Keep coming back.