The Secret of Changing Your Mind – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Sandy B. maps out a life spent avoiding the internal void through a series of manufactured emergencies. A former Marine jet pilot he describes the terrifying transition from the cockpit to the 'nut ward' at Bethesda Naval Hospital after his drinking rendered him a liability in the air.

He dismantles the delusion of the 'quiet drunk' who does no harm admitting he was a human tornado who pushed people's hot buttons just to feel something. He traces his path from the arrogance of a new arrival to the stability of a man who finally learned to 'change his mind' and stop playing the same single self-centered note in the orchestra of life. He credits his survival to a sponsor Bill T. who essentially forced him into the rooms until the sobriety took hold.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sandy B. opens by describing the AA convention as a 'show and tell operation' to break down denial.
• 10:15 Discussion on the 'Chapter to the Agnostic' in the Big Book and the necessity of changing one's mind.
• 22:40 The first drink in college and the immediate, intuitive feeling of belonging.
• 35:10 Laughter: The diagnosis of a 'childhood fear of airplanes' after the Navy took his wings.
• 44:20 The 'shell of a human being' phase and wearing aviator sunglasses at night to hide his eyes.
• 52:15 The experience of DTs and the social hierarchy of the psychiatric ward.
• 58:30 The first encounter with a red-headed AA member who poked him in the chest and called him out.
• 1:02:10 Sponsorship: Bill T. and the 'Get in the car' method of early sobriety.
• 1:15:45 Step 8: The 'hit list' and the realization that he was the common denominator in family chaos.
• 1:25:00 The metaphor of the 'power tools' and the need for a Higher Power to make the steps work.