The San Quentin Pirates Second Baseman – Johnny H.

About This Speaker Tape

1959, San Quentin. Johnny H. is crawling on his knees in a solitary confinement cell, drifting in and out of total insanity. He describes himself as a "vicious little kid" and a "taker" who lived as a plague, destroying everything in his path. He recalls the "screaming madness" and the black pit of nothingness that alcohol temporarily filled, only to leave him in a cycle of reform schools, nuthouses, and straitjackets. He speaks of the "keen alcoholic mind" and the paradox of his Irish kin who beat each other on Saturdays and hugged on Sundays.

The turning point wasn't just stopping the drink, but crossing the invisible line from taker to giver. He describes the "dance of death" he watched his mother perform while he found a daily reprieve. Now, a former star second baseman for the San Quentin Pirates, Johnny credits a Higher Power and the program for transforming a "clinically insane" animal into a man who can finally love another human being.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Johnny H. opens with gratitude and a joke about near beer.
• 3:15 Description of childhood violence and the 'spiritual experience' of putting a foot in someone's belly.
• 7:40 The 'keen alcoholic mind' and the memory of his grandmother's church.
• 12:10 Discussion of the physical allergy and the mental obsession/craving.
• 16:45 Laughter: Stories about taking pills and the 'experimental stages of Thunderbird' wine.
• 21:30 The memory of solitary confinement and the first AA meeting in a quonset hut.
• 26:10 The 'invisible line' between being a taker and a giver.
• 31:00 The 'four horsemen of terror' and the trauma of his brother's death.
• 36:20 The influence of his baseball coach/sponsor and the recommendation of the Big Book.
• 41:15 Step 5: The moment of freedom in admitting he was an alcoholic.
• 48:30 Reflections on his mother's inability to get sober and the concept of a daily reprieve.
• 55:10 The role of Norm A. as a sponsor and the 'miracle' of staying small.