The Rotisserie in His Head and Low Self-Esteem – Scott S.

About This Speaker Tape

A Bronx-born artist and former poly-drug addict Scott R. describes a life of 'swapping addictions'—moving from marijuana to pills cocaine and heroin—to avoid the reality of his alcoholism. He recounts the wreckage of a marriage where he and his wife became 'sick together,' selling a friend's car and neglecting their children to the point where his son suffered severe psychological trauma.

The turning point arrives on April 22 1985 after a failed attempt to use drugs and a blunt ultimatum from his therapist. Scott R. details the grueling process of the first few steps the necessity of a rigorous inventory to see the 'web' of his sickness and the humbling transition from a Broadway-adjacent career to flipping burritos on a catering truck as a lesson in false pride.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Scott R. opens with a joke about Nebraskans and the 'lameness' of arriving in AA.
• 6:15 Story about his 'insane' family in the Bronx and Uncle Izzy's boxing name change.
• 12:40 Discussion on the 'alcoholic test' (the inventory) and the pattern of social isolation.
• 15:20 The cycle of addiction: moving from marijuana to pills, cocaine, and heroin.
• 18:50 The wreckage of his marriage and the story of selling a friend's car.
• 23:10 The impact of his alcoholism on his children and his son's psychological distress.
• 26:40 The breaking point: April 22, 1985, and the ultimatum from his therapist.
• 31:10 Working the first three steps and the 'architecture of alcoholism' with his sponsor.
• 35:40 The 8th Step list and the realization that he owed amends to his dead father.
• 39:20 The 'Parking Higher Power' and the humility of working on a catering truck.
• 43:10 Laughter: Scott R. describes his 10th Step inventory regarding his 'false pride' while flipping burritos.