The Result of Doing It Your Way – Pat Y.

About This Speaker Tape

A purple flannel bathrobe and a bottle of scotch on the kitchen sink. For Pat Y., this was the uniform of a woman who had spent decades leaving through the back door. From a thirteen-year-old in Newport Beach drinking rum and cokes to fit in, to a "show business career" as a go-go dancer who frequently passed out on stage at a dive called Nick's, Pat lived a life of abject embarrassment and "horrible big secrets." The wreckage included a marriage ended by ghosting and a cruel, accidental card sent to a dying brother—a secret flushed down a toilet and kept for years.

The bottom came in a rocking chair, listening to Ray Charles and watching neighbors live the life she thought she wanted. After a drunken call to a stranger and a first meeting in rubber thongs and baggy jeans, Pat found a sponsor who didn't care about her attitude. By following a rigid program and surrendering to a Higher Power, Pat traded the paranoia of closed drapes for twenty-six years of sobriety.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Pat Y. opens with a story about a chaotic flight from Dallas.
• 4:15 Recounts the first drink at 13 and the 'magic' of suddenly fitting in.
• 12:30 The story of the joke card sent to her dying brother and the secret she kept for years.
• 22:10 Laughter: Pat describes her 'show business career' as a go-go dancer in East LA.
• 31:45 Describes the 'purple flannel bathrobe' years and the isolation of drinking alone.
• 42:10 First meeting experience and the impact of being welcomed by Clint.
• 51:20 Sponsorship: The strict requirement to attend meetings every night and 'work the room'.
• 58:15 Step 4 and 5: The struggle to be honest about childhood secrets and the relief of the fifth step.
• 1:12:00 The 'locked elbow' strategy to avoid a newcomer obsession.
• 1:25:30 Living amends: Learning to be a kind wife to her second husband before his death from cancer.
• 1:38:00 The ripple effect of sponsorship and the gift of helping a struggling newcomer while in the hospital.
• 1:45:00 Final advice for newcomers: Home group, sponsor, and a sober friend.