The Resentment That Almost Kept Him From the Meetings – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Virginia Convention - Bristol, VA - 1999

Sandy B. traces the wreckage of a high-flying Marine Corps career that nearly ended in a psychiatric ward and a straitjacket. He maps out the paradox of the alcoholic's mind—how a drink once solved his lifelong feeling of being an alien on Earth only to leave him shaking in the cockpit of a high-performance aircraft. Sandy B. dismantles the illusion of control recounting a near-fatal descent into DTs and a grand mal seizure that finally landed him in AA. He works through the slow process of repairing family bonds the surreal experience of a Ninth Step involving a 25-year-old debt and the realization that his failure to get promoted to Major actually saved his life when his entire unit perished in a plane crash. He makes his case for a spiritual life where problems aren't solved intellectually but are removed through surrender.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sandy B. opens by reflecting on the restoration of his relationship with his parents.
• 4:15 Laughter: Sandy B. discusses the awkwardness of calling home from jail to ask for money.
• 7:30 Step 9: Sandy B. describes the 'memory bubble' and the quest to find a former buddy in Vermont to pay back rent.
• 13:10 A story about a convention mix-up involving a man mistaken for a speaker.
• 17:45 Tradition 10: The story of the US Senate and the warning labels on alcohol.
• 22:10 Sandy B. describes the 'technicolor' feeling of his first drinks and the illusion of social ease.
• 31:40 The physical wreckage: shaking in the cockpit and the 'childhood fear of flying' diagnosis.
• 36:20 The 'nut ward' experience, the straitjacket, and the first introduction to AA in the hospital.
• 42:10 The struggle with the 'first drink' obsession and the decision to join AA for real on Pearl Harbor Day.
• 48:50 The resentment over not being promoted to Major and the news of the plane crash that killed his unit.
• 54:10 Discussion on the daily reprieve and the difference between solving and removing problems.
• 58:30 Closing thoughts on the 12 Steps as a gift of returning to oneself.