The Recovery of the Adult Child of an Alcoholic – Jerry J.

About This Speaker Tape

West Texas, a farm, and a bulldog named Patches who wouldn't let go of a boar hog even after getting his throat cut. Jerry J. uses this image of a dog obsessed with its own destruction to frame the alcoholic mind—a physical and mental trap where the only solution is to let go. A high-powered Dallas lawyer, Jerry spent years pretending his life was manageable while drinking half-quarts of gin and brandy, terrified that his clients would find out he was a drunk. He tried a "controlled drinking" test to prove his wife wrong, but the more he cheated, the harder it was to pass.

He describes the wreckage of his internal world through a fishbowl: he would dip out and flush any fish that dared to nip another's tail, a microcosm of a man who couldn't manage a few gliders in a tank. Only after a desperate, honest prayer to a Higher Power did he stop trying to wrest happiness from life through management and start the slow work of recovery.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction by a fellow member; joke about the man with shingles.
• 5:15 Laughter: Jerry J. jokes about drunks getting 'married' to the podium.
• 10:20 Discussion of the 'miracle' of recovery and the role of the Big Book.
• 16:45 The story of Patches the bulldog and the boar hog as a metaphor for alcoholism.
• 22:10 Jerry J. describes his career as a Dallas lawyer and his fear of clients discovering his drinking.
• 27:30 The 'controlled drinking' test and the mental obsession that followed.
• 33:15 Description of the physical and mental agony of the first few days of sobriety.
• 38:40 The struggle with faith and the 'honest prayer' to a Higher Power.
• 45:10 The fishbowl story: an illustration of self-centeredness and unmanageability.
• 52:20 The encounter with the dying girl at the Baptist retreat.
• 58:15 Dealing with professional rejection and the start of the lawyers' task force.
• 65:00 Closing metaphor of the Ladino steer and the burro of life.