The Readiness to Yield and the Art of Acceptance – Easy D.

Today, we hear a lot about pressure. In the alcoholic problem in particularly, we find that pressure plays a very important part. Now, Alcoholics Anonymous gives us a very effective principle against pressure. It's a principle that you have heard a lot about in AA. And I think it is a very important principle to every alcoholic, and the principle is easy does it. Now before we actually analyze this principle, let's first acquaint ourselves with another universal law of nature, telling us that there's one thing that is true in all forms of nature both animal, human and even the ordinary inanimate nature. And that is that no one or no thing starts at the top. No one, no thing begins at maturity. No one ever reaches the top or maturity just like that. Now, alcoholics, we know, are perfectionists. In fact, most human beings are perfectionist. But the alcoholic is the type of perfectionist that he wants perfection right now. He wants to get there just like that. We had a fellow in Indianapolis one time, and there was a call came in that he had a little slip and that he was in Columbus, Ohio in the Deichler Hotel. So another fellow and myself drove over to Columbus, Ohio, and there in the hotel this fellow had a seven-room suite with a fifth of liquor in every room. Perhaps he bowed to him as he went through the suite. Well, we finally got him into his car and agreed to go back to Indianapolis. But all the way back home, all of a sudden he would grab the fellow who was driving and say, stop this car! Right now! Right now!" And I can't help but think that's typical of the alcoholic personality. now this would be all right this perfectionism if we were willing to spend the time and the patience and have the tolerance and the ability and the talents to reach perfection they tell us Mr. Disney is a perfectionist but a perfectionists who is willing and is capable and has the patience and ability to reach perfect in his works in all life no one begins let's take the spiritual life first there is conversion I don't mean conversion to religion I mean conversion to the value of spiritual entities in regulating our lives but once that happens there is slow painful growth Everyone in AA who has been sober any length of time knows how slow this growth spiritually is. Then let's take the professions, the doctors, clergy or the dentist or the attorneys or whatever you have. No one starts out at the top. First there's long years of study. then there's the apprenticeship perhaps the internship for the doctor and then only is he admitted to practice as a doctor or an attorney and only then after years of such practice maybe he will reach the top then in material things after all a sculpture does not blast out a statue he carves it out a little here and a little there the skyscraper is not built from the top down we fill the earth with the foundation and from that foundation we build the skysraper even in society as you know their first is the debut is that the way you pronounce it and only then is such a young lady accepted as a member of society. The same thing in the physical world. First, the seed is planted in the womb of the mother, and then there's nine months' growth, painful birth, then slow growth through childhood and adolescence, and only than does the human being reach maturity. and some never reach maturity. Then in the world of the mind, the genius is not an educated person. The only educated person is the one who has spent years of disciplined study, of learning and relearning so that he ends up with a disciplined mind that tells him what to do with the knowledge that he has acquired. It's a universal law of nature. No one starts at the top. No one or no thing begins at maturity. Now there's one exception. With all laws, there is one exception to this and that's the gadfly. You know what the gad fly is? the gadfly is a little moth-like creature who lays its egg on the water in the north woods and then the chrysalid comes from the egg and from the chRYSALID it draws its wings and then it zooms to a great height in the air and just as quickly it falls back into the water fish food that's the gad fly we have the same exceptions in other lives the sudden saint suddenly ain't a saint because you don't reach sanctity overnight just like that the sudden member of AA who acquires sobriety in all the programs just like this just like that? Well, these days he loses it just like that. The same way with the sudden star in the heavens. Or to become more modern, right down to the present day, Sputnik. It appeared in the heavens very suddenly. But as they tell us, it won't be long until Sputlik is no more, but the other stars and the planets will go on and on and on. But they didn't begin just like that. The conviction of this is absolutely necessary for a proper understanding and practice of the principle of easy does it. Now easy does It basically is the principle based workings with the world." You have such expressions as the mills of time grind slowly. Or another one, Rome was not built in a day. It took seven days according to the Scriptures which we know now scientifically meant seven periods of long time for God to create the world. It took 1900 years for him to send his Son into the world. In fact, even in the person of Christ, he did not become Redeemer until Easter when He rose from the dead. As Paul tells us, only then can Christ truly be called our Redeemer. Now there's another organization in the world today whose operation is based on easy-does-it, and that is communism. Communism is not concerned with anything except one thing, and that ist universal domination of the world under its rule. God is not concern except with one thing. The ultimate having mankind with him happy forever. So the incidentals that happen along the way are not disconcerting. God goes along, day in and day out, emphasizing the ultimate. And that's the reason God can be so tolerant and is so patient and is such a good man. He's so understanding as long as he reaches his ultimate purpose and the same way with communism. What does a side war mean to the communists? Or a cold war or an uprising here or there or a setback here or their they have their eyes glued on the ultimate and they know it will take time a long time and so it is based on easy does it In all of life's actions and strivings, the secret of practicing easy does it is to emphasize the ultimate. What is my end purpose? If I keep that in front of me, then I won't be so easily disturbed by these things that are so important to me when I don't keep my end purpose in front of them. Then we have the alcoholic, how he has failed in life. Each and every alcoholic here tonight knows very well how he has failed. All of our lives we wanted everything right now. We wanted them in a hurry. We were determined to achieve irrespective of what might have gotten in front of us. We were always scheming to win we were panicky lest we lose we were fearful of the outcome the end purpose the ultimate we had none it wasn't long until our ultimate was a uh-oh round bottle and that wasn't very ultimate that was the ever present purpose of our existence then came Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives and when we arrived we were still panicky we were very fearful but still we wanted our answers right now how long is this thing going to take after all how long are these jitters going to stay with me then it was that somebody came along patted me on the shoulder and said, now look, bud, take it easy. Easy does it. You didn't get drunk overnight and you're not going to sober up overnight. Take it easy Sobriety is a lifetime of effort. Take it easily. Easy does. It's one of the first principles that we heard in AA. As we turned it over in our mind and even got a semblance of its meaning, we started to learn patience. We began to practice a bit of tolerance and we knew how to accept instead of to fight against. We had thoroughness at least in some of our work and effort. We began the slow down a bit and did not hurry quite as much as we did before. And then we began even to eliminate that old habit of years past of procrastination. Because after all, easy does it means do it. Don't put it off and then it won't pile up and then there'll never be a day when I have to do so much at one time. You know, a lot of fellows and gals in AA misinterpret easy does-it to mean, don't do it. Let it go. That's a wonderful excuse for laziness. Easy does it. Now easy does it means do it when it's supposed to be done. Now along the path of Alcoholics Anonymous we picked up a number of signposts that help us in the practice and understanding of easy does. The first of those is if you can't go through an obstacle, then go around it. How often didn't we do the opposite? We were determined to go through it. And if we got knocked back on our tokas, we got up and tried it again. About nine years ago I was in Albany, New York. and I attended one of the meetings and at this meeting the chairman was an ex-lightweight boxing champion and he told me a story which has a lot to do with what I'm trying to say right now about one time when he fought Benny Leonard. He said he fought Benny Leonard 15 rounds and when it got to about the sixth round he was really whipped but he wasn't going to give up. He stayed the 15 rounds and he got beaten into a pulp. After the fight Leonard came along put his arm around him he said look bud always remember it's never cowardice to quit when we know darn well we're whipped. If you can't go through Go around. Then the next signpost that helps us with easy does it is if you can't solve a problem, accept it. So many people come to me with what is called the unsolvable problems, you know. Look, Father, I got a problem in my home. I can't do nothing about it. Well, accept It. Then it's solved. In other words, as the serenity prayer tells us, to accept the things we cannot change. But the wisdom is to know the things that we cannot do. The things we can't change. Another signpost, if you can't finish today, there will always be a tomorrow. If it is God's will that you finish it. We have a part of the AA program called the 24-hour program. But that don't mean try to do everything in 24 hours. That means do what we can today and if time is given, we will finish it tomorrow. The old expression that so many people had all down through history, God willing. I'll see you, God willing, These saints and all spiritual writers have an axiom which is very apropos to this particular point. And I'm going to give it to you in Latin. There might be one or the other of you here who understands Latin, but the reason I do that is because the Latin is always so much more precise in its meaning. Then I'll give you the English. And the Latin says age quod agis et respite finem which in English means do what you are doing and keep your eye on the ultimate end. Which means emphasize the ultimate. Then the next signpost goes like this. Hurry never produced a masterpiece. As I mentioned a while ago, a sculptor does not blast out a statue. He doesn't hack that out. he takes a little bit here and a little bit there the same way the painter paints the masterpiece he doesn't swish it out overnight a little but here and a little bt there and even the story writer does not write his story in short a little bit here and a litle bit there Then the next one is time can and will solve and heal all things. Time can and Will solve all things, which is very true. A hundred years from now, what are your problems and my problems going to mean? nothing to us except they might have a bearing on where we're going to be another one is if you don't succeed try again now we heard that in grade school sometimes I wonder if we believed it so many give up you know well it's hopeless remember the story of Robert Bruce who had failed I don't know how many times and he finally took refuge from his enemy in the cave and as he was lying there he saw this spider attempting to spin this web and each time it got about finished the web broke time and time again finally he made it Bruce went out again and this time he became the victor if you don't succeed try again then another signpost which is very commonly heard all over AA and the more you see in AA and the older you grow in AA, the more you realize it's truth. And that is no case is hopeless. Believe me. No case is hopeless I think most of you and I know I have seen individuals who wouldn't have a chance so we thought suddenly they blossom out and not only make good members of AA not only stay sober but become very solid citizens no case is hopeless I got quite a kick out of something that happened to me about three years ago when I first published Sobriety and Beyond as many of you know I do not have much to do with the handling of that staff at home does that But one day I happened to be going through the orders, and lo and behold, here was an order from the psychiatrist who had told me 14 years ago that I was absolutely hopeless. Then another signpost is nobody ever tripped lying down. which means get your rest. It does not necessarily mean slow down. Perhaps our personality is such that we can't slow down, but we can get more rest. We can get more rest than the next signpost is the one I mentioned in passing. Do it! In other words, when something is to be done in my life, do it. Then at the end of the month I won't have that big stack of things to do it the last day. Easy does it. Then another one is expect delay. What irritates us so much and what upsets us so Much is when something suddenly happens to be an obstacle in our course of action. Whereas if we expect that, We're not surprised. After all, if I'm along the highway driving along and come to a detour, what difference does it make? As long as they lift it in time to answer Gabriel's horn on Judgment Day. Then another one is it's the effort, not the result that counts. After all ours is only the footwork. The result is in the hands of God. That goes in business. That goes in our AA 12 step work and everything. We have only the footwork. God gives the results or permits the failure. Then another one is how important can it be? That thing or that circumstance or that person has got me so upset now. How important is it in my life? Over a lifetime what does it mean? Nothing. These saints used to have a saying, many of them, we find it in their writings and in their lives, they would constantly remind themselves what does this mean for eternity? Nothing becomes too important then. Then another one is strive towards but do not look for perfection either in ourselves or others. And this is so important. We have to become ignoramuses here, you know. Ignore the faults that we see popping up in our neighbors. They'll always be there. And in ourselves, they'll always be there until a day or two after we're dead. Something like that. after all all that is expected again is the effort the goodwill we're human and we'll have our faults until the day we die so will our neighbors but after all when we point the finger at our neighbor don't forget there's three pointing right back at me You know, so much trouble could be avoided in life if we would only accept the fact that other people aren't saints. They're not perfect. They're stinkers. Lots of the time. Even as you and I. That's human nature. now let's see how these things that we have been discussing works out in our everyday living and first in the home to practice easy does it we would be much more tolerant with the family we wouldn't be yak yakking about the faults of our husband or of our wife so much if we practiced easy does its We wouldn't push so much, either with the husband or wife or with the children. We wouldn'T expect perfection in the children, you know, the poor kids, the mother or the father says, why can't you be like the Jones boys? You never see them fighting. Of course you don't, they have the blinds pulled. and we hold over the head of the poor kid a pinnacle it'll never be able to reach as a child perhaps not as an adult and if we look pretty close in ourselves we won't even find it there easy does it we will not punish in anger if we practice easy does I'm in the head, you know. Get out of here! You know why so many parents rule by fear and by a whack over the ear instead of by teaching to love? Because it's so much easier and shorter. Love takes longer, but it lasts forever. to just take time out and teach our children to love us. If we have the respect and the confidence of our children, we won't need any rules. We won't needs any rules Then if the wife starts yakking all the time, well better yak. Ignore it. Easy does it. And if the husband clams up, let him clam up. That's the nature of him and her. So let him go. Easy does it. Then in business, first relative to our jobs, easy does it tells us that we're not the absolute all important person for that job or that business we can take a day off it won't fold up you know many would be surprised if they knew the thousands and I mean thousands who of otherwise sincere members of Alcoholics Anonymous have slipped simply because they didn't let up on their job, on their work. Working 18-20 hours a day and then the slip. The answer would be, well I have to. And then they lose it all in one binge. That wasn't so good either. Easy does it. Then in our social life many upsets, Tom, because we do not expect what actually is in other people. In other words, whatever I do with my fellow man, I will never have everyone to like me. No one will. There will always be somebody who is against me and sometimes quite a few. Now if I expect that, then I'm not going to be upset. somebody criticizes somebody talks about me let them go if they're unhappy they wouldn't be talking about you and you will be talked about no matter who you are then social climbing you know is quite a reason that many people get upset because they don't climb as fast as they think they should instead of realizing that the status in which I exist is probably the best that God meant for me. And I will not try. And if I try, I will never be disappointed. I will no longer expect too much. And if i expect anything, I won't be disappointed when it happens. Now, if we have that attitude ahead of time, then there will not be difficulty. Then in the spiritual life, someone might say well it says in the scriptures be ye perfect and I agree it does say that but it doesn't say tonight you know I believe most alcoholics at one time or other in their lives set out to be perfect people and night came and they weren't perfect they thought to heck with it give me a bottle We must expect sins and failures in our own lives Until the day we're dead God permits those things And therefore if we expect them They will not disturb us Easy does it This emphasizes the need of God It emphasizes how little we have to do with our lives you know I used to hear a fellow or a gal in AA get up and they would say now I've been sober 5 years or 8 years or 10 years whatever it was and I have come to realize that I had nothing to do with it, God did it all I used to think that was a lot of claptrap but the longer you are in AA and the more you mature in AA, the more you realize that conviction that I had nothing to do with it. God did it all. I'm not kidding myself tonight. There's only one reason that I'm sober tonight. There's только один причина что я в АА все эти преимущества которые АА дает и это потому что от благости Бога. Бог сделал это все. Многие люди падают в грех из-за их очень быстрого take your person who tries to get in so many hundred prayers every day there are such people they don't get them in discouragement they give up that's pride easy does it do what we can do what we're doing emphasize the ultimate keep our eye on the ultimate end purpose of our own lives and let every side issue go or come as it does. Easy does. Meditation is one of the prime factors that the program gives us to practice spiritually. Easy does it. Because meditation is relaxation with God. In meditation, we actually relax with God It motivates our living. It helps us to emphasize the ultimate. It helps us to practice easy does it. Then in our physical life, easy does it, after all you can break an arm in two minutes but it takes a long time to heal it and yet we get very impatient with nature, easy does it. In our mental life, The reason we're all screwed up so much or have snap judgment is because we don't practice easy does it. Wisdom comes as a result of meditation plus the grace of God. No one who does not practice easy-does-it can have much wisdom. then emotionally easy does it not only we as alcoholics but all human beings will continue to have for the rest of our lives cycles of depression cycles of elation cycles of irritation cycles of sleeplessness expected, accepted easy does fighting against them only makes it worse You know, an acute neurosis comes from being emotionally all tightened up. The doctors tell us that an acute neurosis most of the time is because the white tissue between the gray matter and the nerve system is in such a tense condition that the patient cannot voluntarily relax it. That's the reason they use the shock treatment, you know. The shock treatments relaxes that white tissue. Like a PBX, you know, of a telephone system. And so when it all gets tensed up, it's just like pulling all the wires out and putting them in another hole in the PBX. You'd have a lot of conversation, screwy conversation going on. So the person with an acute neurosis, he has plenty of screwy conversations. All kinds of funny thinking, all kinds of funny feelings because his PBX is out of work. Easy does it. Then finally in our AA life, we should day in and day out never forget that AA is a readiness to yield. AA is not to sober up drunks. AA is for me to keep sober and to give to whomsoever asks. Whether they stay sober or not is none of my concern. I have no surety that they will stay sober or that they won't drink again. Whether they do or whether they don't is not under my own voluntary control. God takes care of that. A readiness to give. AA is also not to save souls, after all that's the church's job AA just rings them out we cannot sell AA we're going to be very disappointed and irritated if we try to we can only give it and that will keep us from becoming too extremist in our practice of AA. It will keep us from becoming too pietistic. We will realize that AA will get new members by attraction, by merely simply telling them what happened to us. Here I was, here I am. By attraction, members will follow. and in conclusion I'm going to make a statement that you can take home and chew on digest it or forget about it if you wish and that is easy does it means do it but don't overdo it and be always convinced that God will always provide. May He love you all. Thanks for listening.