The Pyramiding Thoughts That Turned a Pimple into a Tumor – David

About This Speaker Tape

A 14-foot flat-bottom boat, two 55-pound cinder blocks, and a rope tied to a left ankle. For years, David spent his Saturdays rehearsing a suicide that looked like an accident for the insurance money, imagining the "poor David" whispers of mourners. He lived in a state of "pyramiding thoughts," where a boss’s silence at 10:00 AM became a lost job, a bankrupt future, and a diet of day-old bread by 10:01 AM. He spent his final drinking years hiding in a six-by-seven-foot bathroom, smoking in secret and walking "humpback" to conceal bottles in his jacket.

Recovery meant facing the wreckage of a home where the loudest shouter won and his sons were strangers. Through his Higher Power and a blunt sponsor, David learned that his victimhood was merely a "justification for the inexcusable." He had to stop trying to "fix" his children and instead return their dignity, moving from a position of control to one of honest humility.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 David opens with a joke about Heather's self-honesty problem.
• 4:30 Detailed account of his suicidal ideations involving cinder blocks and a 14-foot boat.
• 12:15 Explanation of 'pyramiding thoughts' and the spiral of imagining he's been fired.
• 18:40 The first drink at the Rathskeller in 1966 and the silence of the mental noise.
• 24:10 Description of the 'safe haven' of the bathroom and hiding beers under celery and carrots.
• 31:00 Conflict with his son David and the subsequent call to his sponsor, Keith L.
• 36:40 The emotional hug with his son and the realization that he was a stranger to his children.
• 41:20 Discussion of the 'victim' mentality and the tools of the seven deadly sins.
• 48:10 The process of making amends to his mother through prayer and funny cards.
• 55:30 The story of the wedding solo and the soap message on the mirror: 'David, you're wrong.'
• 61:00 The metaphor of the monkey in the jar and the process of letting go one bean at a time.