The Priest Who Thought the Role Made the Man – Paul M.

About This Speaker Tape

Iowa Fall Conference - 1983

A Catholic priest Paul M. describes a life spent hiding behind the collar while drowning in Johnny Walker Black Label and a messiah complex. He maps the wreckage of fifteen years in the priesthood—moving from parish to parish in a desperate geographic cure drinking through the ritual of the Mass and eventually finding himself alone in a hospital chaplaincy where the isolation pushed him to the brink. The turning point arrives in 1981 through a forced intervention and a stint at Hazelden where he was stripped of his priestly functions and forced to face the fact that he was a human being before he was a priest. He details the slow gritty process of the 12 Steps from the humility of taking a fifth step with a nun to the absurdity of making amends for childhood windows broken with snowballs ultimately trading his pride for a fragile daily serenity.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and a joke about his new puppy.
• 4:15 Laughter: The parable of Charlie P. and the three rescue boats.
• 15:30 Recounting his early drinking in Dubuque and the 'cocktail hour' of the priesthood.
• 28:45 The isolation of the hospital chaplaincy and the 'Messiah complex'.
• 38:10 The intervention and the decision to enter treatment at Hazelden.
• 46:20 Step 1: The spiritual awakening and the shift from 'I' to 'We'.
• 55:15 Laughter: The story of the gravy-soaked sponge and the dog's disaster.
• 1:05:40 Step 4 and 5: The process of siphoning 'garbage' and taking a fifth step with a nun.
• 1:18:20 Step 9: Making amends for childhood snowballs and broken windows.
• 1:32:10 The difference between knowing the Shepherd and being loved by the Shepherd.