The Power-Seeker Who Found Out He Had None – Clint H.

About This Speaker Tape

Glendale, California. A hot, eight-by-ten shed with sticky linoleum floors and a mattress on a steel cot. Clint H. spent his nights there, held hostage by a pair of socks he mistook for a rat in the dark. He was a power-seeker who had spent a lifetime chasing a feeling of strength through vodka and amphetamines, only to find himself outclassed in a prize fight where Alcohol always won the eleventh round.

A bail bondsman eventually dragged him toward a new kind of power. Clint describes the "elegant power" of a Higher Power that doesn't just help one quit, but removes the obsession entirely. He speaks of "old ideas"—the mental wreckage from a childhood of betrayal and a mother's death—that left him wired to distrust women and crave approval. Now a lawyer, he views the steps as a way to strip away the illegitimate pursuit of power, replacing it with the "honey" of spiritual connection and the humility of a seeker.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Clint H. opens with a reflection on living out second and third choices.
• 2:15 Description of the 'shed' in Glendale and the 'rat' that turned out to be socks.
• 6:40 Laughter: Discussion on the futility of 'quitting' versus the removal of the obsession.
• 10:15 The 'prize fight' metaphor describing the battle with alcohol.
• 15:30 The 'cathedral experience' and the sudden shift on August 14, 1966.
• 20:10 The story of Billy B. and the 'old ideas' regarding his ears.
• 28:45 Reflection on childhood trauma in Billings and the death of his mother.
• 34:10 Discussion on the pursuit of power and the nature of the 4th Step inventory.
• 40:20 The story of Joyce J. and the skydiving accident.
• 45:15 Step 9: Making amends to his sister and her husband in Denver.
• 50:00 The emotional return to Billings to clip the grass around his mother's grave.