The Personality Change Sufficient to Bring About Recovery – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

East Coast Convention - 2022

PJ maps out a life defined by a void he tried to fill with trucks women and a rotating door of substances. He describes himself as a 'tornado' who crushed plans and stole peace of mind moving from childhood abandonment and a nasty parental divorce to a cycle of jail house arrest and overdose. He cuts through the illusion of 'controlled drinking' by admitting he was always under the influence of something. The turning point arrives through a rigid sponsorship with James J. who reads the Big Book word-for-word and a realization that he must get uncomfortable to grow. PJ traces his path from the wreckage of broken relationships and a daughter he cannot yet hold to a current state of service where he finds purpose in small acts like gathering stray shopping carts at Walmart to lighten someone else's load.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 PJ celebrates one year of sobriety and acknowledges the support of his wife, Andrea A.
• 3:15 Discussion on the difference between religious judgment in church and the openness found in recovery.
• 6:20 PJ recounts his first blackout in seventh grade during a family Christmas.
• 11:10 Laughter: PJ describes his 'all gas and no brakes' approach to life and his history of theft.
• 14:45 PJ discusses the 'misunderstood' tattoos and the deep isolation he felt despite being in a room full of people.
• 17:30 Mention of Step 9 and the rigorous process of reading the Big Book word-for-word with his sponsor, James J.
• 21:15 PJ reflects on the shame of having his stepchildren taken away due to his actions.
• 25:40 PJ describes the 'insanity' of doing the same thing over and over and the lesson learned from his sponsor.
• 28:10 PJ discusses the 'personality change' mentioned in the Big Book and how it manifests in his life today.
• 32:15 PJ shares a heavy moment regarding a child he fathered whose mother passed away, and his current struggle with amends.