The Only Problem Is Conscious Separation – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

other - 2008

Sandy B. traces a trajectory from a childhood of feeling fundamentally different to a career as a Marine Corps pilot that ended in a crash of sanity. He maps out the slow tightening of the noose—flying missions while sweating through withdrawal and eventually faking an oxygen emergency to escape a cockpit he could no longer handle. After a stint in a psychiatric ward and a forced exit from the military Sandy B. describes the wreckage of early sobriety: starving with six children and spending fifteen years digging out of a financial hole. He dismantles the illusion of self-sufficiency arguing that the 'pretty good' level of sobriety is a trap. Through the influence of Chuck C. he makes the case for a life of constant spiritual growth moving from the material world into a 'world of the spirit' where problems aren't solved but transformed by a new pair of glasses.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and reflections on remaining teachable.
• 4:30 Discussion of childhood feelings of isolation and the 'scary thoughts' that create a frightening world.
• 11:15 The first drink at Yale and the sudden shift in how the world is perceived.
• 18:40 Life in the Marine Corps and the 'intensity' of his drinking that frightened other heavy drinkers.
• 23:10 Flying missions while experiencing withdrawal and the 'oxygen emergency' that ended his career.
• 31:00 The 'nut ward' experience and the first introduction to AA meetings in the hospital.
• 38:20 The struggle of early sobriety and the financial wreckage of supporting six children.
• 46:10 Reflections on the influence of Chuck C. and the 'Drop the Rock' philosophy.
• 52:30 Deep dive into 'conscious separation' and the difference between solving problems and spiritual transformation.
• 58:15 The 'ego prayer' and the danger of settling for a 'pretty good' level of sobriety.
• 63:00 The metaphor of the 'New Pair of Glasses' and the necessity of the fellowship to keep old ideas at bay.