The Obsession Was Lifted When He Stopped Half-Assing the Steps – Chris

About This Speaker Tape

Georgia, in a home office where the silence was a mask. Chris hid pint bottles of vodka under couch cushions and in trash cans, a secret war waged while his wife bought cases of wine from Trader Joe's, thinking he was just thirsty. He didn't start as a drunk; he started by watching his biological father crumble—the bruises, the dented cars, the slow fade of a superhero into a wreck. Drinking was the only way to mute the pain of that decline.

The wreckage mounted: a baby falling off a changing table, blackouts fueled by lorazepam, and thousands of miles driven drunk with a child in the car. After years of "half-assing" the steps and treating AA like a social club he was too good for, he hit a cliff. He treated the program like a chemistry experiment—exact measurements, no deviations. By digging into the "deep dark corners" of his fourth step and surrendering to a Higher Power, he stopped the bleed.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Childhood in Alaska and early exposure to alcohol.
• 6:12 The catalyst: watching his biological father's decline and using alcohol to cope.
• 11:30 The danger of blackouts: a terrifying moment where his son fell off a changing station.
• 15:20 The 'Baby Bjorn' incident: walking through a busy street in a complete blackout.
• 18:45 Laughter: The story of the leaking vodka bottle at a meeting.
• 23:10 The 'cliff-edge' fear and the decision to fully commit to AA.
• 26:40 Working the 12 Steps: the 'scientific experiment' and the role of his temporary sponsor.
• 31:15 Step 9: Making amends to his mother and the healing of their relationship.
• 35:40 The 'Higher Power thing': childhood trauma with a physically abusive stepfather and the failure of religious institutions.
• 41:20 Service work: the experience of chairing a meeting after 90 days.