The Need for a Higher Power Over the Proof of One – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Sandy B. maps out a life where alcohol wasn't the problem but sobriety was. He describes the terror of being sober and the 'magic' of the first drink that turned a hostile room of strangers into a welcoming crowd.

A former Marine jet pilot Sandy recounts the wreckage of flying an F-8 Crusader while experiencing withdrawals—including throwing up in an oxygen mask and planning to use the ejection seat as a safety net for passing out. After a stint in a 'nut ward' at Bethesda Naval Hospital and a brush with malnutrition he found a sponsor who didn't give him a choice but a schedule. Sandy dismantles the idea of the 'straight and narrow' as a boring existence eventually discovering that the spiritual life is less about religious dogma and more about a daily reprieve from the grayness of the world.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Sandy B. opens by reflecting on the bond of those who go through the 'boot camp' of early sobriety.
• 4:15 Sandy describes the 'magic' of the first drink and the feeling of finally belonging in a room of strangers.
• 8:30 Laughter: Sandy discusses the difference between how non-alcoholics and alcoholics view the 'purpose' of alcohol.
• 12:10 Sandy recounts the danger of flying fighter jets while experiencing withdrawals and vomiting in an oxygen mask.
• 16:45 The 'childhood fear of flying' diagnosis and the transition to air traffic control.
• 20:10 Sandy's first AA meeting in the 'nut ward' and the 'hard love' encounter with Red F.
• 24:30 The experience of a '12-step call' and the rigid, non-negotiable nature of early sponsorship.
• 28:15 Sandy describes the paranoia of hiding booze in Coke bottles and under underwear.
• 33:40 The 'miracle' of forgetting to worry about drinking for a full month.
• 38:20 Sandy dismantles the fear of the 'straight and narrow' and the boredom of a spiritual life.
• 43:10 Discussion on the need for a Higher Power and the 'compass' metaphor.
• 48:50 Closing thoughts on the 'gift' of being an alcoholic and the joy of seeing a newcomer make it back to a meeting.