The Moment the Solution Became the Problem – Tom M.

About This Speaker Tape

New Years Eve Alkathon - Little Rock, AR - 1983

Tom M. maps out a life of high-functioning wreckage from stealing a bride in Napoleon North Dakota to running a sales team of 42 people while secretly visiting bars. He describes his early attempts at sobriety as a 'near beer trip,' using AA meetings as a cover to sneak out to the bars. The turning point arrives in November 1975 when he hits a wall of firing divorce and total family alienation. He traces his path through 180 meetings in 180 days under the guidance of his sponsor Dick M. and the slow gritty process of repairing his relationship with his children. He frames his recovery not as a change in drinking patterns but as a move from a state of total despair to a life where he is no longer the primary problem in the room.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Tom M. opens with a joke about a backgammon debt and thanks the committee.
• 2:15 Tom M. lists the various jails he's been in across Germany, Spain, and the US.
• 5:30 The story of stealing the bride in Napoleon, North Dakota.
• 7:45 Laughter: The lawn chair arrest in Minot, North Dakota.
• 11:20 Tom M. describes his first meeting in Lincoln, Nebraska, and his desire for a 'drinking pattern adjustment'.
• 15:40 The 'near beer trip' and using AA as a cover for bar hopping.
• 18:10 The bottom: November 24, 1975—loss of job, wife, and children.
• 21:00 Sponsorship: Dick M. pushes him toward 90 meetings in 90 days.
• 25:30 The struggle to regain trust with his children and the 'spy' son.
• 28:45 The 'age of miracles' and the story of his grandson, Thomas J.
• 31:15 Discussion of the 'daily reprieve' and the necessity of attending 6-7 meetings a week.
• 33:00 Closing thoughts on alcoholism as a state of despair.