The Mantra of I Am an Alcoholic – Kenny D.

About This Speaker Tape

A cardboard box behind a Seattle McDonald's. That was the end of the line for Kenny D., where he spent his final days listening to the drive-thru orders and convinced the customers were calling the FBI on the "freak" hiding in the bushes. He lived in a world of abscessed feet, greasy hair, and a merciless obsession to find one deep breath of peace before the sickness took him. He describes his drinking not as a habit, but as an emergency—an urgency to get as much in as quickly as possible.

He was pulled from the dirt by men who "trolled the bottom," including Al B., who gave him a five-dollar-an-hour job at a car lot and a place to sleep. Kenny recalls the gritty details of early sobriety: a green shag van with a hundred-dollar bill painted on the side and a getaway car that overheated on the way to a retreat. By reading the Big Book like poetry and trusting a Higher Power, he moved from the wreckage of a hopeless home to a life of stability.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Kenny D. opens with gratitude for the Fellowship of the Spirit conference and his wife, Shannon.
• 12:15 Childhood trauma: describing his alcoholic stepfather and the 'freak show' of his early teens.
• 18:40 The 'wild west' of Alaskan fishing boats and the urgency of his drinking.
• 24:10 Bottom: Living in a cardboard box behind a McDonald's in Seattle.
• 30:20 First meeting at Fremont Hall and the intervention of Al B. [Laughter/Applause]
• 36:15 Early sobriety: Working for $5 an hour at Al B.'s car lot.
• 45:30 The 'getaway car' and the Third Step retreat in the mountains.
• 54:10 Discussion on the 'downwardly mobile' nature of AA and the transformational power of the steps.
• 1:02:15 The story of Darlene, her battle with AIDS, and adopting her son, Jake.
• 1:15:40 The 'I Am' and the realization of the 'nice garage' in his current life.
• 1:22:10 Closing thoughts on being an 'AA devotee' and his personal mantra.