The Insecurity of the High Achiever – Buzz A.

About This Speaker Tape

To the world, Buzz A. was a high-achiever, yet he felt like a fraud in his own life. From the halls of West Point and MIT to the lunar surface he describes a lifelong pattern of insecurity and 'self-effacing' behavior masked by professional accolades.

He maps out the wreckage of his later years—psychiatric hospitalizations a failed marriage and the absurdity of sneaking scotch into a clinic while being treated for depression. He dismantles the myth of the 'space hero,' admitting to binging in his apartment while turning down invitations from John D. He eventually finds a footing through a compatible sponsor and a willingness to strip away the hypocrisy of his religious upbringing concluding that the spiritual laws of recovery are as concrete as the physical laws of gravity.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Hal M. introduces Buzz A. and celebrates his five years of sobriety.
• 3:15 Buzz A. explains the childhood origin of his nickname.
• 8:40 Recounts the 'stumbling, blubbering' experience with gin at age 16.
• 14:20 Discusses the 'self-effacing' nature of his personality and the insecurity behind the achievement.
• 21:10 Describes the pressure of the astronaut program and the fear of not living up to expectations.
• 26:30 Laughter: The absurdity of sneaking scotch into a psychiatric hospital in a navigator's clip bag.
• 31:15 Describes the 'binge in his apartment' that forced him to cancel a trip with John D.
• 35:40 Discusses the struggle with early sponsors and the 'reduction of ego' during his first year of sobriety.
• 39:10 Mentions the importance of finding a compatible sponsor who is an engineer.
• 43:00 Applause: Buzz A. concludes by comparing the laws of recovery to physical laws of gravity.