The Identity of a Recovering Alcoholic – Mike B.

About This Speaker Tape

1951, Mexico. A small, slow, "chicken shit" kid fleeing the FBI with a Marxist-Atheist father. Mike B. spent forty years as a fugitive from his own nature, a "garbage head" who used chemistry to mask a void of invisibility. He describes his drinking as a Jekyll and Hyde existence—three drinks in and he'd wake up with rug burns on his face in strange places. He recalls the terror of a New York LSD trip that ended in a straightjacket and a six-month mental trial where he "pulled the switch on the electric chair" in his mind.

The wreckage was absolute: three wives, a career of fragments, and a soul stripped of self-esteem. He describes alcoholism as a "monstrous disease" with coils around the neck. For Mike B., the turning point wasn't a soft landing but a moment of clarity where he realized he was an alcoholic and finally felt "at home." He credits his Higher Power working through the fellowship, moving from the "coils" of addiction to a state of flying.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Michael B. opens by discussing the grace of sponsorship and his early days with Georgie G.
• 4:15 Laughter: Michael describes his 'Jekyll and Hyde' drinking and waking up with rug burns in strange places.
• 8:30 Michael discusses the trauma of his active addiction, including jail and being raped.
• 12:45 Michael's 'list' of substances used, followed by a joke about 'the easier, softer way' to the meeting.
• 18:20 Michael describes the 'three-fold disease' (physical allergy, mental obsession, spiritual malady).
• 25:10 Michael discusses the 'committee' in his head and his fear of not being a 'real' alcoholic.
• 32:40 Michael recounts his childhood in Mexico and the political reasons for his family's exile.
• 41:15 The LSD trip in New York that led to him being taken to Bellevue Hospital in a straight jacket.
• 48:50 Michael describes the 'rolling blackouts' and the mental state of his 'bottom'.
• 55:10 Moment of Clarity: Michael describes his first AA meeting on December 11, 1974.
• 62:30 Michael discusses the 'ego' and the lesson learned from being ignored by a parole officer.
• 72:10 Michael reflects on the 'atmosphere of life' and the necessity of faith in a Higher Power.