The Hole in His Belly and the Ego That Fed It – Don M.

About This Speaker Tape

A hole in the belly where the wind blows through. That was the void Don M. spent thirty-seven years trying to plug with law degrees, expensive Corvettes, and a "terminally brilliant" ego. A Kentucky farm boy who felt like a fraud in a suit, Don describes his life as a house of cards held together by mimicry and terror. He climbed to the heights of a successful criminal defense practice in Louisville, only to find that the higher he rose, the more staggering the fall.

The wreckage became literal in 1978: a 130-mph crash that left him shattered, immobile, and wired into catheters. Even then, he clung to the bottle as his only faithful mistress. After eighteen trips to asylums and a descent into needle junkies' alleys, the Commonwealth of Kentucky stripped his law license. Only when the law firm and the money vanished did Don stop running and accept that his disease is a psychopath that lies to keep him drinking. Now, he relies on a Higher Power and the literal word of the Big Book to...

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Timestamps

• 0:00 Don M. opens with gratitude for the hospitality of the Indiana fellowship.
• 5:15 Discussion on the 'hole in the belly' and how ego gives birth to fear.
• 12:30 Recounting the 'legend in my own mind' phase and the mimicry of emotional wellness.
• 22:10 The 130 mph wreck and the subsequent insanity of drinking in a hospital bed with tubes in his body.
• 31:45 The 'Major Hall' irony: donating money to a treatment center before being kicked out of it for drinking.
• 38:20 The 'brownout' incident in Nashville and the moment he realized it wasn't working.
• 45:10 Step 2 and the struggle to accept a Higher Power when the brain refuses to believe.
• 52:15 Detailed breakdown of Step 3 and the 'three frogs on a log' metaphor.
• 61:00 The process of making amends to his daughter and the recovery of his law license.
• 68:30 Laughter: Discussion on 'a case of the red ass' and the cure of soaking in gratitude.