The Higher Power That Sent Lightning Bolts – Sandy N.

About This Speaker Tape

A parking lot in Claremont, California, with a half-pint of vodka and an orange soda. Sandy N. was 47, broke, and drifting through a haze of meth and alcohol when a "lightning bolt" from her Higher Power struck, telling her to get her GED and move back to Michigan. The wreckage was deep: a husband who died by a sawed-off shotgun, years of guilt, and a string of toxic men. Even after the bolt, the addiction clawed back; she spent her bus ticket money on drugs and spent her first nights in Michigan hunting for pennies in her son's couch to feed the craving.

It took hitting a wall of absolute misery and seeing the serenity in her brother's eyes to finally stop. Sandy describes the grit of early sobriety—shaking for three weeks, terrified of a future that looked like a homeless woman pushing a cart. By following a 22-year-old sponsor's strict rules and working the steps, she traded the bottle for a degree from Eastern and a career in recovery.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Sandy N. discusses her late start with alcohol and her previous reliance on pot.
• 3:15 Recounts the trauma of her husband's suicide by shotgun.
• 6:20 The 'lightning bolt' moment in the parking lot regarding her GED and education.
• 9:10 The chaos of the Greyhound bus trip from California to Michigan.
• 12:40 Meeting her brother and the first introduction to the Big Book.
• 16:10 Laughter: Sandy's experience with 'green' sobriety and lying in outpatient treatment.
• 19:45 Working the steps with a 22-year-old sponsor and the fear of the Fourth Step.
• 22:30 Discussion of breast cancer remission and the support of the recovery community.
• 25:10 The grief of her daughter's heroin overdose and the role of prayer.
• 27:40 Mention of the 12 and 12 and the 'key of willingness'.
• 28:50 Applause: Sandy concludes by discussing her degree and her work at Dawn Farm.