The Hard Wake-Up Call of Growing Up in Alcoholics Anonymous – Billy N.

keithan hey hey can you hear me i can hear and see you man it's great to see you you too dale thanks my friend um all right um i'll be turning it over to you in just a second i'm just gonna introduce you and introduce kind of billy or yeah billy in the same way um um thanks let's if we can just another if you can do this just a round of applause for liz yeah that's It's just awesome. Liz, take that in, man. That was an awesome lead, girl. I helped a lot. So the gentleman who's about to speak is Billy. And I remember I was at the World Convention in Atlanta a few years ago. And it was my 20th year anniversary. and i was really known on facebook then because i had the job a different job and a different life than than i do now and um i heard congratulations on your on your anniversary and it was billy and i was like whoa thanks and um I've heard his talk a few times and i know he's done a lot of service for Alcoholics Anonymous, and he's blood in AA. And I really respect that. And like I said earlier about Emma and Daryl, I've gotten to know these cats lately, and I appreciate the service they're doing. And for Inky Paw, especially in the area they're in, because Inky Paws has never been there, and that's just phenomenal. Thank you for that. I'm going to turn it over to you now, Keith. Thanks a lot, Dale. Hey, everybody. I'm Keith and I'm an alcoholic and grateful to be involved and be here with you on this fine Saturday. So, Billy, here's what I know about Billy. He's a man who's not big into fancy introductions. He wants to get out and share his story. He got sober young and he got involved in service. But one thing I do know is that one other thing I know isthat, you know, he's the big book guy. And so he calls himself a regular old alcoholic who just ended up sober through by way of Alcoholics Anonymous and the big book. So I'll let him tell you and tell us about himself. Here's Billy. Thanks, I'm Billy. I'm an alcoholic. Good to be here. Looks like you can all hear me. My sobriety date is January 5th, 1990. 1990. My home group is the Alpharetta Unity Group in Alphareta, Georgia. You'll pick up quickly. I don't really speak Georgian. I grew up a little north of here. I do want to thank all the speakers, although we haven't heard Tina yet. I think she's driving, so I hope she's driving safe. This is like a trip down memory lane. um i uh when i saw tina in the car the first thing i thought of was this like pain in the ass at like one o'clock in the morning at some young people's conference who wanted to see every Every particular section of the service manual, it really – it's amazing when I think back about life. life um Bobby um if you could get the two of us and hide a microphone maybe having dinner or lunch in Philadelphia you might get the real story um but uh I'm glad to see that Bobby like me has been able to get his hair cut which is important to people like us a little easier for him because because he's married to a hairdresser, but it really is a privilege to be here. And I know there's four speakers today, and we all can cover various topics. I do want to say that the title is probably based on the other speakers that I know in myself and all the people that I've known for years. staying for the miracle uh we would probably all be dead if that remained singular if there was only one miracle uh i i know for sure i would not be here um so for me it's mostly staying for the miracles um you know and there's a bunch of things i want to talk about But I think all of us at a young age are forced to answer a question. It's the age-old question, but sometimes when you're young, it's a little harder to grasp. And that question is, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who can drink and those who can't and which one are you? That is a hard question when you're young. It's a hard question if you're an alcoholic at any age, but when you are young particularly to really know that really there's only two kinds of people in the world those who can drink and those who can't um i want to also before i forget um because i know a lot of young people and young people's conferences have got talking about today i i want to take a chance to myself also thank two men um who might be in the archives of certain areas, but not in any AA history books. And that would be Mike M and Dennis A, the two men who started IKIPA. Mike M, an electrician in Philadelphia, and Dennis, a probation officer in Ontario. I took a trip trip to Philadelphia, to Bobby's house. God, it must be like 1994. I am dating myself for sure. And we interviewed Mike M at Bobby's kitchen table and he talked about the early days and he talking about people having to drive 800 or a thousand miles just to meet another another young person who is in the vicinity of their age. I'm so grateful. I happened to walk into a clubhouse to go to a meeting in Florida two years ago on a Sunday morning in Fort Myers, and there was a woman speaking, and she was one of the first young women to get sober in the Akron area with Dr. Bob. And she started the first women's meeting at night. you know I think about all those things I've been blessed with to meet and those people who trudge the early road you know sometimes people say I don't go to a lot of young people's conferences anymore but I like to go to IKIPA when I can and I like to goto a young people meeting when I can and there are some people out there if you stay around a long enough you're gonna get some detractors you're gonna get people who don't like you you're also going to meet some people who put all young people in a bucket they put all young people's conferences in a Bucket they put anyone whoever went to a young people's conference in a Buckeye but you know I want to explain something that I I don't think they understand because they want to say lots of horrible things about why someone in their forties or fifties might still go to a young people's conference. So let me just break it down very easily so I can have this recorded non record forever. When you, when you get older like I am today, every once in a while you have to help someone who's older than yourself. it's very common. And guess what? They made it until they were 50 or 60 years old drinking until they bottomed out. They're an alcoholic just like I am, but guess what I'm never going to identify with their kind of drinking. I don't know what it's like to go on a business trip with a credit card in my pocket drinking. I go on business trips all the time and have a credit card in MyPocket. I believe I would make it on one business trip drinking today before I got fired. One. And not the whole trip. Probably the first night somewhere around there. So what those people don't understand is if I go to a young people's meeting i get to hear people they're part of the story where they're still active i identify with that i will always identify with that i did not bottom out in miami having some driver take me to a restaurant leaving my company credit card on the side now those people are alcoholic but i I identify with people who listen to Led Zeppelin in the woods around a campfire, right? That's who I identify. I identify what I identify with people who have been buying fake ID since they've been 14 years old. I identify with people who knew whose brother or sister could always hook us up. I identify where my first regular drinking establishments are whatever set of parents are on vacation whose ever house is empty with any adults. And so when people want to say things like, well, you just go there to do this. No, I don't go there that do that. I go there because I identify there. I go There because I can't make up some manmade foolish story. That's not true that I know what it's like to get sober older because I don't the other thing I want to say and and you know, everybody has their different experience. experience everybody has a different experience my experience is this most of the people that i just talked about that older variety alcoholic that come to aa later on i am amazed that somehow they seem to have some foundation in their life that somehow they they made it to a certain age When, for young people, let me be very clear. Most of the young people that I meet, zero foundation, zero, none. Forget right from wrong. You know, it's easy when you know, when somebody says, oh, you know right from from wrong. What about people who don't know right from wrong? You know, that saying raised by wolves, uh, that applies to us. Um, it's nothing against our parents. It's nothing against our families. It'S not like they were wolves. We just decided to detach from them at an early age. And so I was raised by people around a campfire. I was was raised by the kids who hang out behind the movie theater. I was raised by the kid who showed up for school some days but cut class. Zero foundation in life, and I'm going to get to the point why I mention that because it's a hard wake-up call to wake up in Alcoholics Anonymous and to grow up in and Alcoholics Anonymous. I know all the other speakers today, and I think we're no different than anyone else. I don't care if you call it the dark night of the soul. I don'T CARE WHAT YOU CALL IT. Dark night ofthe soul sounds good, but our successes are not what allows us to be helpful today. It's the thousands of failures we've had staying sober, that that's how powerful Alcoholics Anonymous is. That's how powerfully alcoholics are. That's powerful the steps are. But even with all our human failures, we have stayed here. You know, I was thinking about some things that happened. Jobs, school, credit report, rent, bills, probation, Salvation, deaths of family members, deaths of friends, parents dying. I mean, those are things that nobody signs up for when they come here. I was 35 years old until I know there was a number on sheets that mean how good they are or how soft they are. I did not know that there were different types of sheets. A couple of weeks ago, early on in the pandemic, Just for old time's sake, for dinner, I made myself a package of you know the kind, the ramen noodles that you buy like 20 in a case that have the little package of chicken flavor that's barely enough to change the color of the water. Like I was not raised, I was raised by wolves. skills um and so when you have to stay around here and grow up i guess here's another thing that all the people who want to slam special interest groups they always want to give half the story because the true story is this young people who are considered a special interest group in AA and have a couple of pieces of literature, have one thing different about them than every other special interest group in AAA. And nobody ever talks about this. For the most part, men stay men and women stay women. But even if they don't, it's their choice. they make a choice for the most part most of the gay people i know in aa have remained gay some have not most of straight people in aa i know remain straight some have turned have are not but guess what that's young people there is no choice we get old that's the bad news i have for everybody out there today. There is no choice for those of us that get here young. We will one day, if we stay sober, be old and have to grow up. That is a huge, huge problem for young people in Alcoholics Anonymous, that the power of choice of getting older has been taken away from us. I thought for a long time I just wanted to be 34 years old and 10 years sober. It looked perfect to me. I don't know what person I saw that was 34 and 10 years sober, but it looked like the perfect combination. But guess what? You only get to do that once. You do not get to remain 20 and five years sober. What, 34 and ten years sober? We're going to have to get older and we have to stay. um you know i am extremely grateful and i want to talk about a couple of things in aa um you know let me get it on recording now while i'm being recorded so uh again another thing out there that's been bothering me um this this whole horrible statement that young people are the future of AA. Would we ever say that to a 60-year-old who's two years sober? Would we call them the future OFAA? No, they're in AA. They're AA current and present. They're not the future. Any AA member regardless of age who plans on staying here is the future of Alcoholics Anonymous. But I say that because think about some of the opportunities that young people's AlcoholicsAnonymous conferences have given. I see some of the people who are on here. Try being 23 years old and going to your general service area and letting them be your hotel chair for their state convention. It's not going to happen. The 23-year-old who's three years sober is not treated the same as the 40-year old who's three years over. They're just not. I learned how to use Excel on a young people's committee. I learned How to Use a Laptop on a Young People's Committee. I would say I learned to use Word, but at that time it was Word Perfect. Some of you older people like me might remember Word Perfect? I learned how to type on a laptop, word perfect. I learned How to negotiate contracts on a young people's bid committee and host committee. Those opportunities, you know, we say why do we spoil certain things on the young? Who knows? I never realized how important they were at the time. I never realized the big learning lessons that were there for the future. I never realised going in and talking to a hotel manager and not cursing and dressing appropriately and learning how to say thank you. Those are things that people raised by wolves don't come natural. We're not led to that path in life usually. I also want to say that Young People's Alcoholics Anonymous opened my eyes to how diverse and beautiful Alcoholics Anonymous is. You know, that it's all not Irish Catholic guys from New York and Philadelphia believe it or not, I know that's not news to a lot of other people but it's not. And for a guy like like me, to be able to become friends with? You know, I ran through that list. Jobs, school, credit reports, rent, mortgages, bills, probation, marriages, divorces. You know those are the things that are mostly the gifts of sobriety believe it or not. Isn't that shocking? that most of the lists that i just read off are things that young people in aa pray for but i love that saying you know be careful what you pray for today because it'll be your inventory of the future no doubt about it you know and uh even though it's a country song and country i won't say i don't like it i like some country music it's not my favorite but i like some but there is a great song out there it's uh sometimes i think it should be the national anthem of young people in aa it's called sometimes god's greatest gift are unanswered prayers because thank god me and not god is in charge of answering my prayers thank god um you know When I got involved with IKIPA, first I want to thank another man before I forget. And that would be Tom I. And Tom has been ill and has been in a facility in North Carolina living a couple of years. um but you know when you are 24 years old and sitting in a correctional facility and going to aa when you can and you have a walkman for those of you that are new a walkmen is this old square box that you could put a cassette in it had a headphone that was actually attached with a cable to the box the number one song at the time was hammer time in case you were wondering when you get a tape a tape that when you buy it at bulk probably cost 20 cents you get it taped that's worth 20 cents because somebody from the outside brought it into your correctional facility and it says on it tom i aberdeen north carolina and you sit on your cot that week and you listen to that man who became the first felon in the history of the united states to become the warden of a maximum custody penitentiary who was at that time 30 years sober you know i needed that hope most of us who come in young you know there's a line in the big book and I have not been made king of AA for a day. I'm waiting, but I have my list of things I would like to change, but no one cares what I want to change. It's good enough as it is. But there's a line in some of our literature that says maybe young people were spared a lot. I have news for the rest of AA. I've not met one of these young people who were spared all this suffering. In fact, I meet people who have done triple the damage in a third of the time. It almost seems impossible. But that's who I meet in Alcoholics Anonymous that is chronologically young in age. But I want to thank Tom Eye. You know, that Icky Pop Committee was crazy. And when I say crazy, I mean insane. I didn't even want to be part of it. I'll just tell you a little bit, open up the vault a little bit and give you a peek into the New York Young People scene of early 1990s. It looked like some pathetic scene from The Breakfast Club. That was my view. I went to a Young People's dance and there were guys with eyes-odd shirts with their collars flipped up and a sweater around his neck. back that was not a popular style where I came from just want to be clear on that and and and all those people it looked like the billionaires boys club to me and I was going from like no place to live to sharing an apartment with the guy whose girlfriend just broke up with him and he can't afford his rent so i get the living room you know to a single room occupancy all those things um i hated young people's aa in new york city and uh who would have known that this group of people went to a place called cleveland And another, you know, crazy group of people gave these breakfast club people Ickypah. And when it came back, my sponsor at the time told me that since I hated all of them so much, I needed to go to the IckYpah elections meeting and I needed to be part of IKIPA. And so, uh, I went there straight from the sober softball field. It was a Sunday afternoon, 87th street between West End and Broadway, um, where the West End meeting, uh, meets. I walked in there all dirty from softball and blood on my pants. And And I stood for every single position. So I just want people to hear this. I stood für every single position and got elected to nothing, zero. All the people in the breakfast club got elected. Now, about two months later, one of these breakfast club people came to me and asked me to chair the security committee because I knew the people from the sober softball community i knew the people from midnight i knew a lot of people and then i want to say two months before ikipa our hotel chair got arrested for harassing our hotel co-chair so i'll repeat that in case it sounds crazy our hotel chair got for harassed and leaving harassing messages on our hotel co-chairs phone at that time answering machine believe it or not really dating myself i wound up becoming the security chair and the hotel chair and i wound up getting elected to the advisory council which i probably would have never got elected to but at that time in history um you had to be under 40 to get elected to or under 35 to get elected to the advisory council. Around that time, leading up to ICIPA, I met a man named Jimmy D. And Jimmy was a past delegate from the Southeast New York area. I thought he was like a spy that came to ICipa committee meetings to make sure we weren't going too far over the deep end. But, you know, I served five years on the ICUPI Advisory Council. Two years as chair. I think about that today. I think of things we don't talk about sometimes, the effect. And I'll be honest, do things happen at young people's conferences that drive me crazy? Absolutely. Do I see people do stupid things? Of course. I just have a judger in my brain that I always think what I did isn't as stupid as what they are currently doing. I've come to believe that's probably not true at all. But the International Conference of Young People in AA and other young people's conferences have brought a lot of good to Alcoholics Anonymous. A lot of good. First of all, if you talk to someone who's honest, it's probably not going to be a main speaker at Icky Pa or Glurky Pa or E.C. Pa or Lacey Pa or R.P. Pa or whatever. It's not goingto be a mainstream main speaker that changed their life life, it's probably going to be that they were in some small marathon meeting at like two in the morning where there was like eight other people and they finally heard people talking that they identified with. Or it's possibly going to been that they thought their life was over. I grabbed a couple of things. I didn't grab a letter that I would read but I'll paraphrase it for you. I want to be very, I spoke at the Indiana State Convention, I don't know, 10 years ago maybe, six years, I'm not sure when. And about two months after that convention, I was a trustee at the time. I got a letter forwarded to me from GSO. somebody had written me a letter care of GSO and I had mentioned young peoples when I spoke at that state convention and this lady sent me a letter and again I didn't grab it before I came here unfortunately I read it one time in San Antonio but I do want to share basically with you what it said head first of all it made me feel old right away because it said dear mister i won't say my last name but you know you've gotten old when people are writing you letters in asaa that's a dear mister um it said you might not remember me but i met you at the indiana state convention i shook your hand after the meeting but there was a long line and i didn't have time to talk to you she said i wanted to reach out to you because you mentioned young people a.a and i wanted share my family's story with you and she went on to say that uh her daughter was an active alcoholic by the time she was in high school and that her and her husband had been in Al-Anon and they didn't know what to do. And one night they got the visit in the middle of the night from the police that nobody wants to get, no parent ever wants to go to Al-Alan when a police officer showed up at their door to take them to the hospital because their daughter had just been in a horrible accident. And she went on in the letter to say how devastating it was for her and her husband to visit and see her daughter in the emergency room waiting to go to surgery, all kinds of lines and tubes, and how devastating that is for a parent. she went on to say that her daughter wound up going to Alcoholics Anonymous and she said one day her daughter came home and said she was going on a camping trip that weekend and she didn't know where but just with this group of young people in AA and uh she said that she was sitting at home at like four o'clock on a friday afternoon and a car pulled into her driveway and in the letter she described the kids in the cars as the kids you avoid at the mall who are hanging out there that's what she said they appeared to be like and she said you know those kids the ones that are at the mal and up to no good and you know you avoid them and she said her daughter all packed up got in that car and went off for a three day camping trip and she told me in that letter that her daughter came home a different person that her daughter came home that Sunday afternoon with a smile on her face and joy back in her life and told her mom that she had met a whole bunch of new friends that were young like her, getting sober. And, you know, the mom said in the letter she could never thank. She said she has no idea what happened on that weekend and I want to tell her you probably don't want to know, right? But it doesn't matter. A miracle happened that weekend. Because how many of us come to AA at a young age thinking that we can't have a life again? That we blew our opportunity, that we burnt down our entire life and we can never have a life again. I mean, we've all heard people say that in adult AA, you know, for them there's nothing worse than a belly full of beer and a head full of AA. For me, there's nothing worse and a belly full of beer in my mom's head full of Al-Anon. It's a very different situation. It's completely different situation but I think about what that mother described in her letter to me and I think about certain things in my life. You know, I travel a lot for work and so I often wind up in hotels where I've been at a young people's conference there i am often you know that story in the big book of the guy walking across the hotel lobby it was the end of a perfect day not a cloud on the horizon i walked across a lot of hotel lobbies for work and i'll just be standing there waiting to check in and i look around and i'll be like wow remember what this was like for chicago wikipa remember what this was like for new orleans ikepa remember when 40 of us went out and did whatever at midnight um you know i want to pass on a story of another man i want to give a little credit um and george is still alive 60 years sober You know, George had a great view of Alcoholics Anonymous, past trustee from the Pacific region, past general manager at GSO. But he told me a story once, and I hope someday that I can have his view of that kind of saying that we get out of the 24-hour day book of wearing sobriety like a loose garment. Because George told me that when you're general manager of GSO and you travel, all the AA service geeks – I guess he's talking about people like me – that they'll mysteriously wind up wherever you're going to a meeting. And he said that George had a house in Hawaii, and so he went to a Meeting in Hawaii that he usually goes to, and he went out to have breakfast afterwards. And the current delegate and somebody, a bunch of people were there. And she reported to George that she was just at the Hawaii Iquipa. And boy, did she have a lot to report. She could not believe what she saw there. And she told George, she said, you wouldn't believe it, George. George, I went up to the pool and all these young women had these small bathing suits on. She goes in and then they were screaming all this kind of nonsense and chanting and the top it all off on Sunday night after Ikepa in Hawaii, they had a big bonfire on the beach and after that bonfire, they all went skinny dipping at one in the morning in the ocean and george looked right at me and told me i looked right at the delegate and i said to her wow i am really thankful i ran into you i need to get to the gym i'm speaking at icky pod next year and there is no way i can go skinny dipping in the current shape i'm in and i think about that about his ability to wear life like a loose garment because you know it's easy to become the big book thumper who knows the big book inside and out at three years sober of course it's easy because you have probably nothing in your life for most young people who get sober we have to get things in our life we never had and then lose them get them back again end and then lose them i want to share a couple of things with you um you know i wound up becoming a delegate and uh you know I look around young people's alcoholics anonymous I uh what people say I'm gonna steal a description from my friend Johnny H an original old school gangster by the way was started on a resentment because Michigan could never get just so we're clear but Johnny Hopper said something a long time ago and I've stolen it and that is we compare AA to baseball fall. And that Young People's AA is our farm system. It's the greatest farm system for new talent that we have. I look around the last 20 years, 30 years of Young People'S AA. Tina's on here. She served four years on the literature committee at GSO. so. Bobby's on here. He was the president of Philadelphia Intergroup. Keith H. from Hawaii, Tom H. From Georgia, Tom M. From Dallas all followed me as chairs of IKIPA Advisory Council and became delegates later on. Christine from Michigan, who probably was the first one of us in that generation she was a delegate two years before me in 97 um jennifer d from north carolina i mean i could go on and on glenn from florida i could draw a map around the united states and fill it in like a presidential election map and i could show you the farm system of young people in AA that has given us some of the best talent we have in Alcoholics Anonymous. Now, for anyone that's new or currently, I just want to share with you, there is a downside to service in young people's AA. It comes with a major downside. When you're involved in the height of young insanity, Insanity. Which we love. The height of young people's insanity, I'm talking about where you'll go to Iquipa even if you have to use your next three months rent. I'm I'm talking about that time period in your life, right? You go to every city. People know who you are. You meet people for the first time in your life. How many other people here I'd be curious, you know, I work in the corporate world. I recruit people out of college. I'll give you two examples about four years ago the head of HR at my company called me and said Billy I'd like you to come and speak for 15 minutes to the new college graduates that we are having orientation for we're bringing all 50 from around the country to New York would you talk to them for 15 min at the end of that week and answer some questions And I said, sure. And wouldn't you know, some snot-nosed little punk, his first question out of his mouth is, hello, Mr. So-and-so, when you took your first corporate job at age 23, what were you thinking about would be your next job, your next promotion? I mean, how does a guy like me answer that question? Because I'm like all of you. When I'm traveling with people for work and they're talking about college spring break, the only equivalent I have is Iquipa Orange County. county the only equivalent i have of growing up at that period in my life is glurky pop philadelphia the only equivalent i have that in my wife and by the way another thing if you're new to young people say hey i want to welcome you but you know how i know somebody got sober young i'll give you a very easy answer it never fails you you don't have to know how old they are You don't have to know what year they came into AA. With this simple question, you'll be able to know if at a certain point in their life they were active in Young People's Alcoholics Anonymous as a young person. If they call the international convention world, it means they came in young. Only those of us who grew up in Young Peoples call the International Convention world. world. But even San Diego International, that's like my senior year of college for most other kids. But there's a problem that comes with that. If you want to go to do other service in Alcoholics Anonymous, it's hard to go from being the king or queen of young peoples to the GSR that no one knows at the assembly, or be the king or queen of young peoples and become the inner group rep that nobody knows at your inner group, or being the king of queen of younger people. Young people's and go to the H&I committee where no one knows who you are. But at a certain point in time, we need people to make that transition because we've invested so much. That's what George told me. He said, Billy, it's not that you are so great that you have to stay in service. It's that we've wasted a lot of time and effort passing things on to you. You know, I put a couple of things next to me just for the sake of it. But, you know, I have this leather bound big book. There's not a lot of them it has my name on it and inside are all the trustees who said goodbye to me when i rotated out as a trustee and you know i wouldn't have that book if i was not involved with the international conference of young people in aa i wouldn'T have been led into service i have another book here that i keep next to it it's from april of 2015 it's the russian big book with my russian general service conference name tag and on the inside a bunch of people from russia signed it but how is it possible to go from standing for every position on an ikipa committee in 1993 93 and losing every election to an April 2015 being sent by GSO to Russia to kind of negotiate a dispute between the two GSOs there. That just doesn't happen in the real world. If you're not familiar with this, I just want to show it to everyone. Every person that comes into young people's haters should have one. It is the anniversary issue of the Grapevines, the memorial issue of The Month That Dr. Bob Died and The Month that Bill W. Died. In the Legacy of Service section in the Bill W., 19th January 71, he talks about running into people from IKIPA. He talks about them being some of the best AAs he had ever met. You know, I want to – I already heard Bobby mention Dick from Nebraska. But, you know, I wantto mention Peggy from Nebraska for a second because she used to say something in her talks that really has always stayed on my mind, which is she used the problem with people who stay sober and get a lot of gifts is uh we we seem to not be able to do all the things we like and when we think about it a second it's because aa is getting in the middle of our life and uh i don't get to golf or ride my motorcycle or go to metallica or goto a yankees game whatever is the kind of brain that I have, the first thing I'm always going to think about cutting away is AA. That once again, AA is getting in the way of my life. Tom, I told me one time because I asked him a question and he said, Billy, that's an interesting question because I've had thousands of problems in my life and cutting back on AA has never been the solution to one of them. there's a story that doesn't get told a lot but I kind of want to finish my time here telling this story because it really speaks about what we have here and how special it really is and it's a true story if I went into my office right now I would have a book there um a lot of you probably heard of y2k became popular around 1997 98 a lot people thought like every computer in the world was going to crash at the stroke of midnight when the ball dropped on john you know december 31st 1999 nothing really happened if you weren't there just in case you were wondering But what did happen, and is really important to know, is that in 1998, Time magazine decided it was going to write a new book, publish a new book. And they gathered together a committee of the smartest historians around the world at the best universities. they did not gather together a committee of aa archivists or aa historians nothing against it if anybody here is one of them um they gathered together the smartest historians in the world and they formed a committee and they gave them one assignment And that assignment was to start on January the 1st of 1900 and to end on that day in 1998 and to identify the 80 most important days of the 20th century. After I'm done talking or while I'm talking, I don't care. You can Google the 80 Days That Changed the World by Time magazine. when you open up that book and you go 13 stories in you land on Mother's Day 1935 it says on this day a broken stockbroker from New York met a broken surgeon from Akron and from that meeting led to the birth of Alcoholics Anonymous that has saved millions of alcoholics lives And also their solution is so powerful that they have shared it with other fellowships who deal with people with other problems. That's pretty amazing, but if you go a couple of pages before or a coupleof pages after that page, what are the 80, what is the smartest history people in the world comparing that day to? I'll give you a short example. example. Jackie Robinson being the first black player in Major League Baseball. Martin Luther King giving the I Had a Dream speech. The wall coming down in Germany. Women being given the right to vote. That's what the 80 most smartest historians in the world compare AA to. So the last story I'm going to tell you is one of my mom that i think speaks a lot about being young in aa probably about a lot of ages by the way i did not always speak this well of al-anon by theway when you're a chronic teenage alcoholic al-anan is not your friend um but when my mom was dying in 1998 that christmas she died a couple weeks later On Christmas morning, 1999, I'm sorry, I went to my mother's hospice and I brought a wig for her and her makeup and her trolley perfume and a boom box with her crazy Irish music and a couple of Polaroid pictures of her cat. because she was never going to have another Christmas. I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts on the way, and I got two large coffees. I am in debt of gratitude to the people who work in hospice because I love the way that they will just cater to the other people entering into the next phase of life. So they didn't yell at me for giving my mother a Dunkin Donuts coffee. That's what she wanted. wanted I propped up the back of her bed I jumped up in it and we threw back two Dunkin Donuts coffees like we were throwing back two tall boys a beer if you've ever dealt someone who's in that stage of transition they hallucinate a lot at one point she looked at me and said Billy AA gave me the ability to go get a quart of milk and so I said mom what does a quart of milk have to do with Alcoholics Anonymous and she said you don't know what it's like to be the parent or the spouse or the sibling of an active alcoholic she said because Because when you are and you run out of something in the house and you have to go to the store at night, you might do without because the stores aren't crowded at night. And if the stores are uncrowded, you might run into someone you know. And if you run into somebody, someone you don't know, they might ask you the hardest question that anyone could ever ask you. And that question is, how are your children? So you do without. And you go to the stores when they're crowded so that no one can ask you about your children. And she said, but at a certain point in my AA timeline, she couldn't wait to shout from the rooftops to tell the whole world the miracle that Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon had done for our family. I rotated out as a trustee three years ago. Someone at a convention asked me in an ask it basket, what did you learn as a trustee? I had a couple of minutes to answer that question as I sat there because there were other people on the panel. And I'm going to give you the same answer today that I gave three years ago. Today is May 9th, 2020. Yesterday, on May 19th, there were a lot of people alive who have the same disease as me who are not alive today. They were alive yesterday and they are no longer with us. Last night, certain things happened that can never be changed. changed. Last night's families were destroyed. We have a program to change and deal with resentments, but we don't have a time machine to go back and change the past. Yesterday, there were many people who have the same disease as me who are physically free. And because of something they did last night, those men and women will probably not be physically free for a long time. But I also learned this. Today, thousands of people even on Zoom will go to their first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I hope they're welcomed in. And even though they can't get an uncomfortable chair and a bad cup of coffee, I hope they get the same welcome that we want every newcomer to get. And I know a year from from now a lot of those people will go to their first anniversary meeting the last whatever night of the month of may 2021 2021 and those relatives will go down the stairs of that church or into that clubhouse and they will look around at something that looks It looks like a combination of the Cheers Bar, the Island of Misfit Toys and Burning Man. Like some kind of combination of all those things. And they will think to themselves, because you can tell the parents, you can tell the spouses, the tears in their eyes. Because they're there wondering how this odd collection of people gave them their son or daughter something that they couldn't buy and they couldn t love. That is the beauty and the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank you for having me here today. It's been a pleasure. Thanks.