The Grace of Higher Power That Keeps Him Sober – John W.

About This Speaker Tape

1983, Los Angeles. John W. is straddling a toilet in his mother's apartment, using the water closet as a table to shoot up spoons. He looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize the image; the altar boy and Boy Scout has been replaced by a wino and a heroin addict. He describes a life of "Groundhog Day" loops—methadone clinics at 6:00 AM, short dogs of Thunderbird, and passing out at a computer terminal with one finger frozen on a key.

After a forced detox in North Hollywood, where he paced the halls in an open-backed gown like a vampire, a nurse handed him the Big Book. John describes his early sobriety as a series of tests, including a trip to a bar where he acted like a "buzzard" waiting for a drunk woman to emerge from the bathroom. Instead of taking advantage of her, he took her to coffee. He credits the grace of a Higher Power for shifting him from the "ambulance crew" to a man of respect, eventually retiring from a thirty-year career.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 John W. opens by pinch-hitting for his sponsor, Cliff R.
• 4:15 Story about stealing a white Biscayne Chevrolet and the subsequent juvenile hall encounter.
• 8:30 Navy days in Rhode Island and the 'zombie' drinks in St. Thomas.
• 12:45 The bathroom mirror realization: seeing a 'wino' and a heroin user.
• 16:20 The ultimatum from his employer: detox or be fired.
• 19:10 Reading the Big Book in detox to combat insomnia.
• 23:40 First AA meeting in Hollywood: the 'Whatever Meeting' and the feeling of being the only Mexican.
• 27:15 Laughter: The story of Beverly explaining the difference between lonely and horny.
• 31:00 The 'ambulance crew' and the first time he respected a woman in a bar.
• 35:40 Dealing with depression after being fired as a union steward.
• 38:10 Reflections on the grace of a Higher Power and retiring after 30 years.