The Gift of a Spiritual Awakening – 2024 Prayers & Promises Workshop – Part 1 of 7 – Jimmy A.

Jimmy, I'm an alcoholic. Grateful to be alive and sober. You might remember me. I was here about four days ago. And a couple observations I need to make. When I first came up, it was really easy to get up these three stairs. I just needed an elevator to get out of there. I just wanted to get back up here just now. It's a tiring day, so I really give credit to you guys who were hanging in there all day long. and some young lady said to me earlier like right at the beginning maybe she heard me cough she goes I got some lozenges up here and she goes they're pretty powerful they stick to the top of your mouth they're from England and then they do something to you that makes you really like weird so I just sat here the whole day looking at that box saying I wonder what would happen if I take three of those things maybe we could crush them up and snort them others maybe we do something like that but uh what a great day oh i have a zoom story so i'm doing a zoom talk in california and uh it is getting bombed left and right and they finally got control of it and uh through the talk at the end of the talk uh the way they called the chairperson called each you know person in the windows or whatever you call that the box and so they're going through the thing going through a thing and then this 13 year old kid gets on there and he goes hi mister uh i'm the zoom bomber but i've never been to an aa meeting so i sat in to listen to your talk and i really enjoyed your talk and all i could think is i can't wait to read your story in a sixth or seventh edition or something like that you know it's like you just never know right that was pretty cool i thought it. So I know it's gifts, I mean it's promises from the big book, but I want to read a promise that's in the 12 and 12 specifically for this step. When a man or woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he's now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. promise. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being, promise. It has been set on a path which tells him he's really going somewhere, promise that life is not a dead end, promise, not something to be endured or mastered, promise in a very real sense he has been transformed because he has laid hold of a source of strength which one way or another he had until now denied himself, promise he finds himself in a possession of a The degree of honesty, promise, tolerance, promise unselfishness, promise. Peace of mind, promise and love, promise of which he had thought himself quite incapable. What he has received is a free gift and yet usually at least in some small part he has made himself ready to receive it. What are you doing with your gift? And what is the gift? Is the gift to be awakened? is the gift that I just stepped out into the sunlight of the Spirit. You know, I thought the gift was this, I don't know, my mind has changed a lot lately with the gift, the gift of consciousness, the gift being awake, the gift to being aware of the things that are going on in my life without judgment, the gift for being able to see things in a different view. You know taking these glasses off and looking at something different, it was a consideration, Might have been Peter or might have been an old sponsor. And the consideration is, do I look at the people in my life, the situations in my, and the circumstances in my through the lens of a character defect or through the eyes of God? So how do I do I at the in my family, my coworkers, my sponsees, my sponsor, members of Alcoholics Anonymous, my neighbors, on and on and on, a stranger in traffic? Do I look that person with anger or rage or fear, or envy, or jealousy, or the like? Or do I look at people now with compassion and forgiveness? Love intolerance is our code. Is it really? So it's a big question for me, the gift and what I'm doing with the gift. And like I shared earlier, I was raised by two wolves, right? I had it all wrong about my parents, like probably most of us in this room right now. I made it all about me. I didn't see the level of selfishness and self-centeredness I lived under. And like we've discussed all day long, the steps we went through to start to uncover, discover, and discard the things that are blocking me from God and blocking me form another person. To see the truth about relationships because Peter always talks about it's the most important thing we have is relationships. With each other, with God, with everyone around us. What does those relationships look like? Early in my AA career, 12-step calls were a common thing. It was like any day of the week, the guy Richie Schnoor who 12-stepped me in Newark Airport, he became my sponsor on day one. He would call me up on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. It didn't make a difference. He'd call me at 11 o'clock at night and all he would say is you've got 10 minutes to be downstairs. Now, I didn't like say well what are we doing or you know where we go and I knew where were we going. We're going to a drunks house and he would pull up in the car and he'd have you know another old-timer of me and another young guy and we go be doing a 12-step call on someone someone who needs help like Peter just talked about and we get to that house if we all had a role and my role as a young guy was to make sure there was no weapons or the kids are all right or the wife was all right the other young guy he had to make sure that you know everything was okay in one way or another and then when we walk into the living room and we see the magic and what the magic was was these two old times would sit down and they tell their story to this alcoholic and then they'd ask him that question are you willing to go to any length of a victory over alcohol and do you want help and if that guy said yes what we did was we didn't take them to a detox because we really didn't have many detoxes around. We didn't take him to a treatment center because there wasn't a lot of treatment centers around.We'd take them into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and what I would witness the first time out doing that is that these old-timers would keep a pint or a half a pint of whiskey in their glove compartment and I didn't understand that in the beginning. I was like whoa, we're allowed to do that? You know and not bad this AA thing huh? But then I learned very quickly it's in case that guy went into you know you know an episode or convulsions or anything like that right so I was well versed in what a 12-step call was and having that conversation with an alcoholic who really needed us I'm 18 months sober doing pretty good back with the wife got the job got all those things not working the steps yet but I'm an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous I'm part of a home group I'm doing all my commitments in the home group setting up breaking down you know making coffee doing all the things we do in a homegroup and and so I leave the home group one day no I didn't leave the home where I left the job one day and I go to visit my parents and I found my father dead right on the floor boom right there dead 63 years old three years younger than i am right now and so i'm programmed i call my sponsor i said to my sponsor what do i do he goes call 9-1-1 and let's pray so i call 911 and we're praying over my father and i can't even tell you the prayers we were saying i just know he was talking i was listening and crying at the same time then all of a sudden a cop comes the first cop comes to my house and he's taking down the information and he writing down and also he looks at me and says I don't see you walk in the streets anymore said yeah I don' t do that anymore taking a little bit more information down he goes matter of fact I don´t even see you drinking in the bars anymore I said, yeah, I don't do that either. He goes, well, how do you do that? I go, well I go to this thing called Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm sober 18 months. He starts to talk to me about his drinking over my father's dead body. I'm programmed for a 12-step call. I could hear the cry for help. I wound up 12-stepping this cop over my dead father's body. Didn't see him ever again until last year. In my home group, we have a big home group where we are, anywhere between two or three hundred people every Sunday night, a lot of activity. The girls are reading over there, the guys are reading it over here, also the guys were over there lying about something, you know, we're doing something. There's always activity. It's a pocket of enthusiasm when all of a sudden I get a tap on my shoulder and I turn around guy looks familiar to me but I don't know who he is and he introduces himself as his name and he says I was the police officer that was with you the night that your father died and I went to AA that next day after talking to you and I'm here to let you know that I've been sober 34 years now. I don''t tell you that because I have the power to get anyone sober, I don' t have the power game unloaded. I tell you that because the gift, that God will use you without your permission. If I think of a drink, I've got to reach for a drunk. That's what the old-timers used to say, right? And what I understood on that day that God used me on that Day, even in the worst of times, even the hardest of times, when you think of it drink, reach for drunk it's our saving grace that's the gift that we have this spiritual toolbox that's laid at our feet and all we really need to do is to pick up those tools and apply them to our life and what happened on that day was my real first spiritual truth became known to me that in order to get out of the darkness of my life I need to serve others and isn't that what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous? We serve others. We carry the message to the best of our ability. We've been given a priceless free gift, so what are you doing with your gifts? You know there wasn't many problems or many prayers in, you know I went through this like an anal college kid looking for answers. I've only read the book a million times like where's the prayers, you know. So working with others, I mean you could take any line and turn it into a prayer if you wanted to but on page 164 in the vision for you, it says ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who's still sick. So this is all about the promises. this message to the alcoholic you could help when no one else can you could secure their confidence when others fail made me think about that day with that cop maybe he asked for help a million or one times maybe he went to an eap or you know employee assistance program maybe he's been to 10 treatment i never knew what happened to that guy but in this particular day god put two drunks together and no matter what was going on below our kneecaps like my dead father the truth of the matter is one drunk talking to another. Our basic service that we offer in Alcoholics Anonymous I would never have been awake to that if I didn't do what everyone has been talked about today. I would never have seen that. I wouldn't have made that situation all about me and missed the whole point of what we do here The other wolf that I was raised by is called Mom and I didnít talk about her earlier but you know these two stories are just really illustration of the gifts so when my dad died my mother never got remarried my mom was old school city lady right never drove a car in her life walked everywhere my mom was a Jane Fonda workout freak for you all older people you might remember to her, leotards, VCR in the thing, dancing to like, oh no, that was Richard Simmons. That's the same, well you know what I mean, it's the, the same thing. And my mom was in great shape, you know, like all through her 50s and 60s, my mom was, and she walked everywhere, she walked miles every day. My mom was always in good shape. So she was about 90 years old and, and the doctor came to us and said, your mom needs a knee replacement. And we're like, what are you out of your mind? She's 90 years old. He goes, she's in better shape than all your five kids put together. She needs a knee placement. So my mom got a knee replacement at 90 years old. Never took a pain pill. I've had three knee replacements. My wife said three knee placements. Not to say we're junkies, but we had to take pain pills. Take the edge off. I mean, you know, you have to sleep eventually, You know, here's the problem. And maybe if you're a doctor in here or a nurse or that medical profession, when you're that old and you get put under anesthesia, now my mom was slipping a little bit, her mind, but the anesthesia put her into full-blown dementia. My mom was shot out. And so we're sitting at my house one day and my mom's looking at me and we're having lunch, me, my wife Marybeth and my mother and she looks at me and she goes where were you? Where were you I walked the streets for two years looking for you where were your and my mind wanted to rationalize that my mind want to come up with an excuse my mind wants to say mom I made amends to you 27 years ago what are you talking about thought we were clear yeah there's so many things that were jumbling up in my mind but God just grabbed me by the back of the head and said be quiet and I listened to her say it a couple more times and then after about 30 seconds she didn't even know who I was it was very hard for us to take care of my mother one night my son comes from where he lives and our phones were ringing we didn't hear him my mother walked out of her house and she was walking the streets down Jersey Shore at 3 o'clock in the morning not even knowing where she was We knew we had to put her somewhere. We couldn't take care of her anymore. And we put her into an assisted living place. And what happened was we put her in the assisted living and COVID hit. And the whole joint got COVID. And my mom died at 94 years old of COVID and dementia in an assisted loving place. But I want to tell you about that day because the gift was in my life. the gift that you guys have shared with me, the gift these guys are talking about all day. It's a gift. I didn't know it was going to be a gift so the hospice nurse, thank you Chris for the work you do and everyone and your wife, I know that but this is when the hospace nurse calls me up. I'm coming out of physical therapy. I just had my third knee replacement. She calls me and she goes, you need to get here. Your mom's gone. She's going to die any minute and you need be here because I was the closest sibling or the closest child my brothers and sisters are all around the country and so about two miles away is the you know the assisted living i go there and uh back in the early days of covet or the pandemic you remember if you did anything you had to take a test you had to put the ppe on and all that other stuff and then um you know so i did that and the hospice nurse stops me she goes i want to tell you something your mom's not going to be able to open her mouth or open her eyes but she's going to know you're here now I got my sisters, two of them hitting me up that let's take get mommy on the phone FaceTime it like we haven't seen my mother in six months now because everything was shut down in Jersey but we didn't know the extent of what she was going to look like FaceTime her, FaceTime and thank God I never facetimer because when that nurse pulled open at that curtain what was laying in the bed was a skeleton and in my mind I think I'm walking in to see my 60 year old version of my mom the Jane Fonda one and there's a skeleton laying in that bed. The gift, I've been given a gift. So I walk in and I sit next to her, I grab her hand, I said hi mom and her chest exploded with like oxygen. Her son has come home the gift and I had that moment the moment we hear from a million podiums the middle moment you guys hear from every meeting you go to of the evidence of the power of the gift the gift of sobriety the gift of a relationship with a power greater than yourself the gifts of God and I sat with my mom and I talked to her for, I don't even know how much. And when I walked out of that she died an hour later. The gift. I didn't know at the moment what that gift was and I'm sure I'm not going to find it in here but does God really hear our prayers? God really hear our prayers? The prayer of St. Francis Lord make me a channel of thy peace that where is hatred I may bring love that where I may bring wrong I may bring the spirit of forgiveness and that where there is discord I may be where there was harmony, where there was error I may bring truth, where there is doubt I may bring faith, where there is despair I may bring hope. Where there is shadows, I may bring light and where there was sadness I may be bring joy. It was a joyful moment to be able to be the one who was able to sit with my mother as she took her last breaths. To let her know that dad's waiting for her in heaven or wherever that place is in the universe. that's the gift you know we could still stand up here and pontificate about what the gift of the spiritual awakening a psychic change or personality whatever you want to call it it's really about practicing these principles in all our affairs you know it's real easy to walk into a meeting and read the tenth step off the off the shade and you know we think we just click our heels acknowledge our wrongs and make our minds and move on without a day there's nothing further from the truth when you read our literature. Step 10 says we've entered the world of the Spirit. What these guys have talked about today is that we have now been out there in the sunlight of the spirit living this way of life. And yeah, we step back into the darkness once in a while but we have the tools 10, 11, 12 to get back into light. so we've entered the world of the spirit and we've been given a gift the gift of awareness the gift being awake to carry this message to the alcoholic who still suffers and we do that in a lot of different ways life will take on a new meaning as a promise to watch people recover to see them help others to watch its loneliness vanish to see the fellowship roll about you to have a host of friends. This is an experience you must not miss. We know that you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. Marion said it on the first talk today, please if you're on the edges here come on all the way in and sit all the down and I can guarantee you that those feelings of isolation and loneliness will vanish and they will be replaced with friendships and relationships you never knew that could happen the gift the gift of alcoholics anonymous we are not alone anymore we have each other we have a place where we can come whether we're happy whether we say whether world whatever we can meet in a precious spot called the parking lot before the meeting or after the meeting and talk about what's bothering us any evidence is all around us of people who have been through everything. Bankruptcies, divorce, death, loss of children, loss of parents, lost their job, you name it we've been given a gift. Am I awake to that? Am i awake that I have a place to come? Assuming that was spiritually fit we could do all sorts of things alcoholics are supposed to do or not supposed to. My biggest question when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous is how do you go to a Yankee game and not drink now that's a that's a common question for a newcomer how do you go to barbecue and I drink how do you have a hamburger or not drink how do you go to the bar you know down ashore to the beach and not drinking oh all these things and see the gift is the guys that and the girls that came before me to show me how to live a sober life to put on events to do the things that we do that regardless of anything we could stay sober and have a good life and a good time living this life. It's the gift, the gift that we've all been given today. Your job now is to be a place where you be your maximum helpfulness to others so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of these motives and god will keep you unharmed helping others what are my motives to get a notch on my belt because i sponsored 20 something guys or is this really about what silkworth talks about the altruistic movement that's among us amongst us the unselfishness of these people you know i think of silkworth quite often because we live right by silkworth's grave and we've all been over there a lot of times in jersey you know and i think about every time i pass glenwood cemetery in West Long Branch, and I look in there. Many times when I look in there, I know where his headstone is. And when I look over there, what do I see? I see two of you girls. You got your beach chairs out, you got your big book in your lap. I see two of YOU guys. You've got folding chairs, you're sitting there. And what I witness is the gift. One drunk, told it to another. Experiencing, sharing experience, strength, and hope. It's what we do. That's the gift we've been given. to carry this message to the best of our ability to the guy or the girl that needs help. Right? Somewhere along the lines, God put me on another path. We started my home group, well we, not my home groups, but our home group. 2005, we had a meeting in my house. We wanted to bring a three legacy group to our area. I belong to a different group and my wife at the time and I called 12 people. People that had a great experience in Alcoholics Anonymous and I put together a steering committee in my living room and like Bill Wilson writing you know hammering out the transit of the traditions on the anvil of experience we were trying to start a group on our experience of being members for a long time in Alcoholic Anonymous and so we put the format together and we knew we wanted to do what we wanted to do and then we went to prayer and we prayed that 30 people would show up to our first night on January 22nd 2006 and that night 175 people showed up and we had a bunch of tables we had like ditch the tables we need more chairs and like I said we moved once but we we average a lot of people on a Sunday night we've been given a gift where I live the gift of sobriety and after the first year we were meeting the first year, after the, after the first year we became a group. I hope you know the difference between a meeting and a group. We have a pamphlet, The AA Group, where it all begins explains all of that stuff, but we needed a GSR. We need someone that would, you know, we could delegate our authority to so they can keep our group informed of AA as a whole. And they wanted me to be the GSR and I'm 19 years sober at the time I don't want to be the GSR you know why I was afraid because I didn't know what it meant I didn't understand the structure I didn't stand any of that stuff I'm a good home group member I feel comfortable in my home group but now I'm being asked to step out of my comfort zone. I didn't see the gift in a moment. So you know that, you know that when your hand raises in a business meeting and you're talking to your arm like what are you doing? What are you don't? What do you do? That's what happened to me. And now I'm your GSR for the Design for Living Group in Neptune New Jersey. It's 2007 we're having a Northeast Regional AA Service Assembly in Hunt Valley, Maryland. That's where all the GSRs, all the service junkies go. And I go down to Hunt Valley Maryland terrified because I'm afraid because I don't know and I'm ignorant to AA. I know the book a little bit by now. I mean a lot by now I sponsor a lot of guys that do a lot of one-on-one at the kitchen table. I do that perfectly but this is something different but I go to the service assembly and I run into two old-timers from my neighborhood one was a past United States trustee at large and I don't expect you to understand what all these those things are and the other guy was the past northeast regional trustee and either I thought they were just two old guys from the neighborhood had no idea that these guys had these positions at one point in their sobriety and they took me under their wing and this guy John Q who was now my service sponsor He gives me a book, a book that maybe some of you guys read in here. It's called The Service Manual, A Real Bonverner. I bet you that's not on Chris' bookcase. Maybe it is. But he gave me the book and he said, I want you to only do one thing right now. I said, what's that? He goes, I want your book. I want it to open up to page S20. That's the old book. And there's an excerpt in there. Why do we have a conference? Why do we do the things we do in Alcoholics Anonymous? And it's written by a guy by the name of Bernard Smith, who was Bill Wilson's lawyer, who was a Class A non-alcoholic trustee, who along with Bill Wilson put our structure together. Right? And what he writes in there is pretty interesting. What he writes is why we have a conference and why we do things in Alcoholic Anonymous us is not to ensure our sobriety. We're here. You know what to do when a young lady shows up at your front door. Those guys know what they do when the young man shows up in their door. We watch the door, we're instructed to watch the door. That's part of the AA etiquette that Peter talked about. That is part of sponsorship, yeah. Watch the door for the guy who walks in that we don't know. Yes, thank the speaker for speaking at your meeting that just drove four hours to come your meeting whether the talk was crappy or not thank the speaker right attend your business meetings stop buying 30 cups of coffee and put a dollar in a basket simple stuff like that so this little excerpt says we don't do this to ensure our sobriety but right now in Syosset New York and I said this earlier there's a guy in this town right now I could guarantee it that's cracking open a bottle of whiskey ready to wash his day away and little does he know there's 50 guys in here that have an answer to his problem right now in Syosset, New York. There's a single mom who can't wait to put those three kids down and crack a bottle of wine and wash her day away, not knowing there's a whole bunch of beautiful women in this room right now that have a solution to her problem. Right now, this moment, from this church to my house to Chris's house to Florida to Peter Marriott's house and every hospital that's in between, there's a baby being born destined for alcoholism. And I started to understand the gift. And what's the gift? To make sure that those doors are never locked for the alcoholic who comes calling. To make that the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous are always open like they were for me on March 28th 1987. Where else can a guy like me or a guy like you or a girl like you, go. If we don't have this thing and keep this thing intact. Now do we have disunity? Absolutely we have disunity in our fellowship. There's a lot of decisions being made in our fellowship and there's a lotta ignorance in our fellowship that doesn't understand why things are being changed but that's the more of a reason why we need to get involved and the district is ground zero for that involvement. So I started to go down this inverted triangle, if you're not familiar with that, that means the groups of Alcoholics Anonymous are in charge of Alcoholic Anonymous. Not the trustees, not the delegates, none of that. It's the groups who run AA. So, I became the GSR. I eventually became a DCM. I eventually became the area chair or alternate chair. I became the Area Chair, the gift. I became The Alternate Delegate. And I rotated out a year and a half ago as the delegate to the General Service Conference, one of the most unbelievable experiences I've ever had in my life, being at the General Services Conference, making decisions for AA as a whole, not my home group, not my area, not by district, but AA as whole. Do we get it right? Sometimes we don't. most times we do I come from the conference I changed the preamble how do you like that and I'm not on either side of that opinion but I'm going to tell you something right now I can't tell you how many people came up to me and said how did that change and all I can tell you is this what did your GSR tell you we don't have one and I walk away. See we have a responsibility in Alcoholics Anonymous and the second tradition talks about that, that when we make out group consciousness, when we made decisions in AA, we better be informed on what we're doing because that's the gift. Because what we do in Alcoholic Anonymous is really for one reason only to get the guy and that woman in Syosset New York in this room right now and we do that through a lot of different ways Tom Iverson was a great speaker an old-timer in a 68 years when he died two years ago and he always said this if you're a member of a a make sure you take a commitment to a place that you never want to wind up again so how important is H&I going back to the treatment centers and carrying their message, how important is it to go to the detoxes? How important is to go the jails? How important it is to your doctor and say, hey I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and if you have any patients that need help, here's my number. It's not a break in the traditions. I wonder if the priest that runs this joint, not joint, this church right here. I thought I was in a bar for a second. This house of worship. Sorry. It's like a tsunami wave is just going to wash me out here. But again, we get the opportunity to share the good news and the good news is this, there's a way out. There's a way out, it's the gift that we all obsess in this room right now, that have an answer. A couple minutes and I'll be done. Dr. Bob talks about four reasons why we pass this on in his story, if you ever read Dr.Bob's nightmare. Number one, it's a pleasure. How many of us sit at a kitchen table with a young lady across from us or a young man across from us, old lady or an old man doesn't make a difference another algae right in front of us and see because there's shame guilt and remorse they can't lift their head up when they're at their table their forehead is tied to their sneakers but then you start this process you crack this book open you start to read you start the take actions you start to take those prayers and all of a sudden those promises start to occur in their life and all the sudden little mary little joe their head starts to come up Wow, I didn't know he had blue eyes and I didn t know she got a black eye from somewhere. All of a sudden we re eyeball to eyeball. The dead is awakened at our kitchen table just like I was awakened at someone else s kitchen table, the gift. Dr. Bob talks about a sense of duty. 1965 at the International Convention in Toronto, they came out with a responsibility statement. I am responsible when anyone anywhere reaches out for help for that. I want to hand FAA always to be there or that I'm responsible. I screwed that up. We should know that. But you get the point that we all have a responsibility here. I just can't take this gift, put it in my pocket and think I'm good to go because the paradox of Alcoholics Anonymous is in order to keep it, I got to give it away. Dr. Bob talks about a debt. We owe a debt for our Ebby Thatcher. Who was your Ebby Thacher? My Ebby thatcher was a guy by the name of Richard Schnoor who wasn't even supposed to be in Newark Airport that day but he was helping another alcoholic guy in a fellowship who couldn't work that night and said I'll take your shift. What are the chances that that guy would have sat next to me and 12-stepped me on March 27th, 1988? Oh, hey, slim to none. I owe a debt to Richie, God rest his soul, who died with 37 years of sobriety. I've had five tremendous sponsors in 37 years. Richie the first five years, Bill Grace, who took me through the book for the first time, became the most important guy in my life drank again after 16 years and died full-blown aids back in the 80s a lot of people had aids from shooting up and living a lifestyle he had lesions all over him he was as big as me at one point he shrunk to about 100 pounds he looked like a pencil i was never afraid to hug that guy i didn't care what he did he saved my life he gave me the gift then we had it i had an old time by the name of RDB for about nine years. Then I had Peter for about, I don't even know, 17, 15, 17 years around there. And now me and him both share the same sponsor, Bob B. Bob is on in St. Paul, Minnesota. And every one of them, in their own way, has shown me and taught me and handed me the gift. The gift of sobriety. I owe a debt to him. I owe a debt that to every man and everyone that I've ever had a conversation with in Alcoholics Anonymous. And then Dr. Bob talks about insurance policy. If you think of a drink, reach for a drunk. Nothing's going to insure our sobriety more than helping another person. It's the gift. I'm just going to read two more promises and I'm done. Bill Wilson has his white light experience can't stay sober, I mean he's staying sober six months no one's getting sober he goes to his wife you know Lois just says hey Bill you're staying sober right but when he comes out of that and having that conversation with Debbie it was imperative that he carry this message right but later on he goes on to talk about my wife and I abandon ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems. It was fortunate. Look how he looked at this. It was fortune for my old business associates to remain skeptical for a year. We don't need your back right away. Most of us would have been pissed off at that. Bill served completely different. He was awake. He had the gift. Thank you, God. Thank you God for not bringing me back to work. I have the opportunity to go out and try to grab a bunch of drunks and to try to help them and give them what has been so freely given to me. I was not too well at the time and I was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. Yes, our great co-founder was human and had emotions like everyone in this room. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink but I soon found out that with all other measures failed work with another alcoholic would save the day and here's your first H&I commitment many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair on talking to a man there I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet it's a design for living that works in the rough going that's the gift I could talk to you about the traditions I could tell you about their concepts I could talk to about world service I can talk to you guys about a lot of stuff we could spend the rest of the night here and we could talk about a lot of things that we all know But if I take everything I know and put it into a filter or one of those, whatever you call those things, a funnel, that's it. When it comes out at the end of the funnel, this thing really comes down to one thing and only one thing, one thing only. One drunk talking to another, sharing experience, strength, and hope. And I'll end on this. might be one of the most important promises we have in our literature. Hopefully I don't cry. Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we only know a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who's still sick. The answers will come if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmute something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for us. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. give freely of what you find and join us we shall be with you in the fellowship of the spirit and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road to happy destiny may God bless you and keep you until then thank you so much for my life Thank you.