The Financial Amends She Made by Running a Restaurant – Mary R.

About This Speaker Tape

Aim for Ames Roundup - 1991

A former vaudeville dancer and Hollywood party girl Mary R. describes a life of high-altitude drinking in the Himalayas and a court-martial scare in Germany after whacking a captain on the ear. After a chaotic marriage to a compulsive gambler where they traded drinking money for gambling money she spiraled into a 'compulsive housekeeper' phase cleaning corners with pins and scrubbing appliances with toothbrushes. The wreckage peaked with her lurching down Ventura Boulevard in a moo-moo smelling of Taboo cologne and 86-proof whiskey. She found a lifeline in a hard-nosed group of old-timers who taught her survival over approval. Despite the heartbreak of her daughter's ongoing struggle with drugs and the agonizing decision to place a grandson for adoption Mary R. finds a gritty dignity in sobriety moving from the pursuit of prestige to the simple gratitude of watching her sons play varsity sports.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Mary R. discusses her early days as a vaudeville dancer and the first bottle of slow gin.
• 4:12 Laughter: Mary R. describes her 'democratic' drinking with everyone from yardbirds to generals during the USO tour.
• 7:30 Mary R. recounts the incident in Germany where she struck a captain on the ear.
• 11:15 The 'pot and lid' marriage to a compulsive gambler.
• 14:40 Description of her 'compulsive housekeeping' and cleaning with Q-tips.
• 18:20 The low point: lurching down Ventura Boulevard and falling in front of a family at a church.
• 21:10 The first contact with AA and the man who broke the 'unwritten rules' to help her.
• 25:45 Mention of her first sponsor and the 'hard-nosed old-timers' who put their foot in her ass.
• 28:30 Discussion of Step 9 and making amends to her ex-husband before his death.
• 31:10 The founding of 'The Nest' club and her role as the 'coffee lady'.
• 34:50 The shift in values and the gratitude of watching her son's varsity game.
• 38:15 The heartbreak of her daughter's addiction and the adoption of her grandson.