The Emotional Enema of the Fifth Step – Larry K.

About This Speaker Tape

A town in England once banned the combustion engine, forcing everyone to rely on donkeys. Larry K. opens with this image to illustrate a lifelong inability to tell his ass from a hole in the ground.

A functioning Catholic priest and alcoholic, Larry describes a childhood of "nothingness"—a nomad in his own family, a "great nothing" who was never even picked last for ball games because he was invisible. He chased identity through material hoarding, academic accolades, and a fantasy world where he was a Napoleon, but these were merely distractions from a hollow core. He describes his Fifth Step not as a cloud-nine experience, but as an "emotional enema"—a gritty, uncomfortable cleansing that left him feeling worse before he felt better.

Through a Higher Power and the program, Larry moved from the loneliness of nothingness to a place where he no longer apologizes for occupying space or wearing a diamond ring.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening joke about donkeys in England and the priest falling into a crevice.
• 10:15 Larry K. identifies as an alcoholic and a functioning Catholic priest.
• 14:30 Discussion of a dream about a lost wallet and the realization of material hoarding.
• 25:40 Laughter: Larry discusses the 'emotional stitches' of newcomers and why he avoids the church for sobriety.
• 35:10 Exploration of the 'loneliness of nothingness' versus the 'loneliness of onlyness'.
• 45:20 Detailed account of childhood trauma, feeling like a nomad in his own home, and his brother's cruelty.
• 55:15 The wreckage of the drinking years: stealing from the church and the tragedy of the student's death.
• 68:40 Step 3: The importance of a sponsor and the 'tug on the collar' to keep from running off a cliff.
• 75:10 Step 7: Discussing the relationship with the archbishop and the need for humility.
• 88:20 Meditation on the image of a child running to a Higher Power during a thunderstorm.