The Ego That Thought He Was a Great Husband – Jay P.

About This Speaker Tape

A parking lot in front of a Thai restaurant. That is where Jay P. took his third step, a gritty turning point for a man who spent decades as a blackout drinker and a "low life" gambler. Jay’s history is a wreckage of reform schools, psychiatric hospitals, and stolen cars. He describes a lifelong pattern of being "mentally defective," drifting through a double life where he walked around like a sober man while lying, cheating, and stealing. He admits he didn't just drink to cover his defects; he was a liar and a thief who happened to drink.

Through the guidance of a "gangster" spiritual advisor and a patient home group in Boca, Jay moved from the depths of darkness toward a Higher Power. He speaks of the humility found in admitting a lie about something as small as a salad, and the peace that comes from serving others. For Jay, recovery isn't a polished image—it's the daily work of staying honest and avoiding the ego that once told him he knew everything.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jay P. opens with his dry date: October 16, 2000.
• 4:15 Recounts early drinking and being sent to reform school at twelve or thirteen.
• 7:30 Laughter: Discussion of 'drinking privileges' in old therapeutic communities.
• 10:15 The boundary set by his sponsor and the process of working the Big Book page by page.
• 12:40 Mention of the Third Step prayer in a parking lot by a Thai restaurant.
• 16:20 Discussion of the 'double life' and recovery from gambling.
• 21:10 The influence of Dennis O. and the importance of page 20 of the Big Book.
• 26:45 Jay reflects on his 'mental defectiveness' and the delusion of being a good husband.
• 31:10 The challenge of doing three nice things for others without bragging about it.
• u0627u062a34:20 Story about his father's denial of alcoholism despite attending 90 meetings in 90 days.
• 38:15 Laughter: The story of stealing a car and using a friend's license to avoid a DUI.
• 44:10 Closing thoughts on 'getting clean on the screen' via Zoom meetings.