The Doctor’s Opinion – Big Book – Tim – Workshop – Neptune, NJ – Part 2 of 18 – Local AA Speakers

This is Tim now from Fraternity Point Group in St. Kylen, but he lives in Neptune, New Jersey, so let's welcome Tim. Good evening everyone, I'm a recovered alcoholic called Big Book Tim. The red light's on, so I think it's recording, so that's good. So you have proof for the condition here. So this week we're on the doctor's opinion. like I joked about before the meeting and a lot of mine for those of you who were here last week and came back thank you and for those of you who know people who were here last night and didn't come back give them a little nudge for me tell my son hi and for all of you who are here this week thank you for coming and welcome so you're in for a treat first big board workshop you're here for a tree you have probably one of the most opinionated speakers in Aguilera. You know, and you know, I say that in all honesty I say that, you know. My sobriety date is May 2nd, 1992. So I'm sober almost 21 and a half years, almost half my life I'm sober. And so I know something. You know what I mean? I don't know everything, but I know something. And I've spent the you know, my entire recovery and studying and living this book and putting it into my life. You know, because for me, you know like I talked about last week with the histories and the forwards to the editions, you know it was this book is what enabled me to be sober. It enabled the people who are currently in AA to be sober. Without this book there was slow progress. You know when they decided in 1938 to publish a book, they barely had 80 people at that point. So it wasn't until April of 39 when they actually published the book that they literally had 100 people. 99 men and one fortunate woman. And I don't know how she gets over today since the men with the men and women with the women. But that's not written anyway, so we'll just drop that up too late. The cult, the cult said that. So, yeah, this book is it as far as I'm concerned. It's, you know, this is the opinion of Alcoholics Anonymous and I know that because the title of the book says Alcoholics Aenonymous. And so this week we're going to get into the doctor's opinion for a minus Roman numeral 23 XXIII, that's the third edition and it's XXV in the fourth edition for those of you who are up there. and what I'm going to be doing is basically reading and going through my experience and my opinion with it the best way I could describe it is where the material is at in my life currently today because it's different for me than it is for people who may have three years or may have two years and congratulations to you both I mean, to me that's a testament to this working you know what I mean so it's always good to hear that so I'll jump right in we'll start here so the doctor's opinion we of Alcohol Synonymous believe that the reader will be interested in the medical estimates for the plan of recovery described in this book so right there already we're presenting to the world that this is the opinion of the medical fraternity about our recovery plan in this book Not that you hear in meetings, but in this book. This convincing testimony must surely come from the medical men who have experienced with the sufferings of our members and have witnessed our return to health. So not just testimony, because we get that all the time in meetings. We get people who come in and they just talk about whatever it is, like my day. Oh, I woke up today and I was late for work, so I had to speak, so I got to speak. I mean, that's testimony right there. but that's not really convincing to me that I don't really see the spiritual way of life there so that's what they're talking about it needs to be convincing, so it needsと be grounded in fact is really what it comes down to a well-known doctor chief physician of a nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcohol and drug addiction gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter and for those of you who don't know the well-know doctor was Dr. William Duncan Silkworth he's buried in Shrewsbury, New Jersey which is about 10 minutes from where I live and the hospital was Townes Hospital in New York City it doesn't exist anymore but Charles Townes was the owner and proprietor of that and Silkworth was the chief attending of that hospital and thank God for him really so he actually gave us this letter so it says and there's my favorite for those of you who remember last week that Colburn I've specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years In late 1934, I attended a patient who though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless So we hear that word right there within two paragraphs of the doctor's opinion Hopeless And it was mentioned before and the boards to the, I believe, the second edition. And, you know, because that's where we need to be. We need to Be Hopeless. I mean, alcoholics who walk through the door with hope that they can still do it their way, it's just like pounding nails into the floor with my head. We've got to Be Hopeless because then we're open to hear whatever it is that convincing testimony coming our way, right? And of course, the person that he's referring to is Bill Wilson, the author of most of the book. in the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery as part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics and pressing upon them they must do likewise with still others this has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families this man and over 100 others appear to have recovered here's my word again, recovered you know so there's a lot in there part of his rehabilitation that we'll read about that in his story because he talks about that a bit understanding that in order to remain sober and continue to grow his sobriety that he needs to work with other people and talk to them about it and that happened as the result of his visit out west, well, midwest the ideas that he received were from the tenants of what was then called the Oxford Group it's now called the Moral Rearmament MRA although that's outside issues I'm giving it to you for historic purposes I'm not saying go MRA NRA maybe so they had a thing called the four absolutes honesty, unselfishness love and purity of the four absolutes and that's what the then six step process of recovery had become that it was brought to from one member of the Oxford group to another to overcome whatever certain sins that you had and in our case our sin was alcoholism so that was what was passed on and we read about that in the forward with Eddie T. coming to meet Bill and pass that on so here's a doctor here's Dr. Silkworth presenting this letter this letter exists you can actually find it if you want I can give you a web address of where the actual photocopy of the letter exists after the meeting and it says almost word for word what's in here Um, you know, so he was a big proponent of what we have here. You know, that if we take this, um, prescription, if you will, uh, for recovery, we're going to become recovered. You know? And, and he was the big, um... big champion of that. You know. So, um. I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom other methods had failed completely. Okay? Just to point out there, it says scores. in the original letter it said dozens this says scores so we kind of updated it for dramatic purposes I guess although that's a radical change too these facts appear to be of extreme medical importance, facts that's important too because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group they may mark a new epoch in the annals of alcoholism these men may as well have a remedy for thousands of such situations you may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves very truly yours William D. Silkworth, MD the original letter didn't have his full name in there and an interesting point to bring up about this in the first edition this was the doctor's opinion was page one that's where that started it wasn't until later on in the second edition that it was moved into the Roman numerals you know I guess they felt that it needed to be separate from including Dr. Silkworth as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and that was their thought process behind that supposedly I didn't know them so this is what's kind of been written and handed down to people there's some things that are really important I think it's really cool that you know that he says in his letter they may mark a new epic in the annals of alcoholism as they indeed have because here we are. You know what I mean? The effectiveness of Alcoholics Anonymous and what these men did is pretty apparent. Here we are in 2013, almost 2014 and this started in 1935. I think they marked something, right? And I believe Bill Wilson was voted in one of the magazines one of those popular magazines as one ofthe most influential men of the 20th century or something like that so I guess that's kind of important. The other thing here that I always bring up Remedy One of the definitions of remedy is a cure See, I told them in controversial ways A cure You know, and being recovered Is in essence being cured Of something also Now you'll see later on in the book That there's some What we call CYA statements by Bill To not present that so much To the world of like Well, you know, we're not really cured. Yes, we are. You know, like, that's the undertone of the entire book, really. You know? And that's why the word recovered was used so often, as opposed to cured. You know. And even in Dr. Bob's story, the other co-founder, the doctor co-pounder, says in his story, presents to the world that Bill Wilson was cured. It's right there in black and white. We'll get to that way later on in February. But, you know, a little teaser there. You know, and that just drives people crazy. Like, how can you be so sure? Well, obviously, people who react that way don't understand alcoholism. I mean, that's ultimately it. They don't understanding what alcoholism is. If we are alcohol dependent, right, and we qualify for being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, we're not the people who have a certain type of hard drinkers who can drink and look like alcoholics who may need to go to rehab, who may need to go to detox, who may needs to taper off. But those people that just make up their mind that I'm done virgin. Those people don't qualify the way we do. They don't have what we're about to get into as the allergic reaction to alcohol. They don' t qualify as alcoholics. So therefore, they become part of that disease people. It's my disease. It's my disease, don't you know? It's like, well, no, it's really you. You're an a-hole. You know what I mean? Like lots of people have diseases and don't act the way people do based on addictions because there's a certain sense of entitlement and we hide behind that. Well, it was really... No, you're not facing life and we eliminated your alcohol, hopefully. We eliminated your drug use and now we've got to deal with your head and that's what we need to continue to do it, so ultimately we get to a particular point where our obsession for alcohol no longer exists therefore our physical compulsions no longer exist therefore we no longer have symptoms of alcohol dependence or alcoholism guess what it doesn't exist for us anymore so now and those people out there that qualify for being doctors and where it states in the medical books, states that once you have achieved one year away from symptoms of alcohol dependence, you are now in full remission. Which according to medical terms means cured. Means cured. Okay, so we could dance around the words all we want. We could be Clint and ask about it. You know? But definitions are definitions and words were chosen for particular reasons. You know, so throughout this process we're going to get to the point where you may disagree with me about my state of being but I can tell you for certain sitting here at this moment right now alcohol has not been a problem for me in a very long time. It has not become an obsession. I have not drank it therefore I don't drink alcoholic-ly which would qualify me as being alcoholic. itch. Okay, so I'm recovered. No longer exists. For all intents and purposes, I am cured. Pretty controversial, isn't it? I hope someday every single person in this room can say that about themselves. That's my hope for you. Because I'm not a victim of my disease. Okay? God did that for me. I didn't do it. You know what I mean? Like, remove God from my life, remove God from my life, and I'm still the guy that walked in the door 21 and a half years ago. But that's not who I am anymore. And that's the purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous, is transformation. It's not to be the same people sitting here with the same people that sit at the bar and we come in here and we tell the same jokes. Well, why? That's why I avoid using profanity when I speak. Because I don't feel that That, you know, I don't need profanity to get my point across, really. That's how I used to express myself. And don't get me wrong, I curse off a sailor. But when I talk about spirituality and I'm talking about God, I just, for me, you have your own thing. But for me I just don't think they belong in the same place. You know, so... Alright, so getting back to the text. It says, The physician who at our request gave us this letter has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. in this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe, that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality or were outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact to a considerable extent with some of us I'm definitely one of them but we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our belief now this is a punch sentence right here in our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out the physical factor is incomplete okay so remember that when you're qualifying people for alcohol synonymous the physical factor okay I don't do everything alcoholically I don' t shop alcoholically I don''t gamble alcoholically, I drink alcoholically. That's the point because my body is abnormal it's not the same as 90% of the world. I'm one of those people. I am one of the aliens who got dropped here who can't process alcohol you know, the earth people can do that I can't do it The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As laymen our opinion as to its soundness may of course mean little, but as ex-problem drinkers, and it used to say ex-alcoholics so there's a radical change there we can say that his explanation makes good sense it explains many things for which he cannot otherwise account and I have in front of me two articles that Silkworth wrote in a medical journal called The Lancet and one of them was from March 1937 the other was April of the same year and the first one is alcoholism is the manifestation of allergy and the second is Reclamation of the Alcoholic and within these two articles he specifically talks about the data that was gathered from people that he treated in Towns Hospital, and what their symptomology and their pathology presented and how they reacted, and he explains the anaphylactic reaction to alcohol that is specifically different for alcoholics. He even has case studies in there of people who look like alcoholics, but they're not. And he qualifies it by talking about what we now know as tolerance levels that we drink much more and don't have the same effect dependence that once we stop drinking it, we start to detoxify immediately all the different aspects of dependence that we now know are normal as part of that diagnosis exist in these articles way back in 1937 so I think it's really cool Like, I'm a big believer in like, you know, I probably said this last week, but I'll continue to say this. Where's that written? You know, where's that? Because my sponsors told me lots of stories and my old sponsors have told me Lots of Stories, too. You know when you hear other people say my sponsor said and I want to know where my sponsor got that stuff, you know, or is it just, you know, well, my sponsor said that there's a big round man who every December gets dressed up in a red outfit and comes down the chimney and leaves presents for me. My father said that. You know, so why is that such a ridiculous picture whereas like this is our life. This is about saving our lives. This isn't about like oh we're doing a weekend thing you know we're at a seminar. This is a life and death errand we're involved in here, but we're going to take, you know, a Santa Claus story. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Just do a coffee commitment and we'll be fine? Okay. That's not written anywhere, right? So, continuing on. Though we work out our solution on the spiritual as well as the altruistic plane, we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befrogged. Okay, there's a lot in that sentence right there. the solution spiritual so he said it right there we're in the doctor's opinion that's our opinion that's not even Silk Road because that's what we wrote work out on the spiritual so it's about God and then he says as well as the altruistic plane the definition of altruism is selfless action expecting nothing in return okay so when you're in meetings out there and you hear somebody say this is a selfish program tell them to shut up or tell Mike to shut up I'll give you that one because it's not, this isn't about that's our problem and we'll get to that later so here it is somebody walks through the door and they're obviously inebriated don't give them a cup of coffee find out how inebrierated they are because we're not equipped to detoxify people we're nicht equipped to deal with somebody who may go into DTs and meetings Okay, so for people who are very jittery or be clawed, we favor hospitalization. Because we can kill them by just saying, hey, you know, let's say an expression. Man, I love this expression. You know, if your ass falls off, pick it up and take it to a meeting. Well, there better be somebody in that meeting that knows how to put asses back on. Or else you're going to the wrong place. Right? So take it where they put them back on, then come back to a meet and say, hey, guess what? It fell off. I went there and put it back on I'm not getting drunk. Let's take a drug. That's pretty cool, huh? Like that's the point. Okay, but let's just ignore this. Oh, they're drunk? Well, just sit them down and have a cup of coffee with them. Give them a meeting book with some numbers. Keep coming back. That's killing people, right? More often than not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached. His brain's got to be cleared. So even like the newcomers who are still convalescing in their first few weeks or whatever who just, you know how that was when you stopped drinking. Like, you couldn't understand the stop sign. You know, like, and we're telling them, oh, just keep coming back and we'll be right back. And we're talking to them, we're walking at them about stuff. You know? Oh, you've got your... And they're like... Right? It's got to be cleared, man. And he says, and what? And here's why. And see, then has a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer. Because in order to accept what we have to offer you is you need to understand it. You know, like somebody tries to sell you something and you don't understand, well, why do I need that? Just buy it. Most people in this room probably don't buy stuff they don't understanding. But yet we do it here at NIA. Isn't that amazing? We buy stuff that people sell us that we don't understating. How many times have you heard meetings, I don't know how it works did you read chapter 5 because it says how it works I'm kind of a clear man ok so then we say this the doctor writes colon the subject presented in this book seems to me to be of paramount importance to those afflicted with alcoholic addiction doesn't say the things that people are saying it means to the subject presented in this book. Paramount, meaning the top, top of the mountain. There's nothing more important than this. I say this after many years' experience as a medical director at one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction. There was therefore a sense of real satisfaction when I was asked to contribute a few words on a subject which is covered in such masterly detail in these pages. So here's the doctor saying, hey man this book is about alcoholism and the subject is covered in masterly detail so why wouldn't I want to know what's in it if this is what I'm suffering from? You know I always talk about like working out and going to the gym. If I'm going someplace and you know I can't really read about Zumba you know I have to follow somebody who already knows how to do Zumba. You know, maybe they've read about it and they know but they've got to break it down for me. They have to tell me we're going to step to the left. Oh, this way? No, the left! Right? Okay, so it becomes here it is. This is what we're presenting. Now he says We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of moral psychology was of urgent importance to alcoholics but its applications presented difficulties beyond our conception. what with our ultra-modern standards our scientific approach to everything we are perhaps not well equipped to apply the powers of good that lie outside our synthetic knowledge the powers are good outside our synthetic knows synthetic meaning man-made it's the opposite of organic organic just exists it was created we don't know how it's there it's just there you know it just grows or it's their and we have we didn't do it okay so the powers of that, the powers of good lying outside that. Right? He's saying we're not well equipped to deal with it. We're not well equipped to deal with God. This is what he's presenting. Right? Okay. So many years ago one of the leading contributors to this book came under our care in this hospital and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application at once. practical, meaning of practice meaning the opposite of theoretical you know, I could have a theory but unless I prove it and now it's into action once we have something that's a theory that goes through the process of the scientific inquiry and then it's proven then it becomes applied like that's what all scientific research like that'S what the doctors do they do clinical studies with mice and rats and alcoholics and they say, okay, well this worked. And then they put it into practical application and they send it out into the world and say, this is why. And I always find it funny that you see these commercials for medications and they all have disclaimers at the end of what they can do to you. Like this book doesn't say, hey, guess what? If you take the 12 steps, you could die. If you do what we did, you might die. it doesn't say that anywhere in this book there are no disclaimers of what we have to offer could be detrimental to your health it doesn' t exist in this book, I've looked, because I like loopholes it doesn''t exist ok, so later he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients here, and with some misgiving he consented imagine that The hospital, like You want to tell people you're sorry? I don't know if that's a good idea, Bill Alright, well You can tell them But we're going to watch you, okay The cases we have followed through Have been most interesting In fact, many of them are amazing Right These articles have those case studies in there There are case studies From that time That Silkwood followed through Okay, and here The unselfishness of these men. The what? The unselfishness. I thought it was a selfish program. The unelfishness of these women and these men as we have come to know them, the entire absence of profit motive. What do you mean they don't do this for money? Are you kidding? And their community spirit. Community spirit. Everybody's included, huh? I wish it were the truth. is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field. They believe in themselves. They believe them themselves. And still more in the power with a capital P, meaning God, the universe, whatever sort of day that you want to do. That's used throughout the entire book. The capital P. The capital H. Him. Spirit of the universe. Zarb. Whatever it is. you know, anytime it refers to that thing which we don't know what it is, I get the capital. More in the power which pulls chronic alcoholists back from the gates of death. Chronic alcoholists. He actually talks about in his articles the difference between acute alcoholics and chronic alcoholics, which now we call alcohol abusers and alcohol dependent. That's what we call them. So here he is He's saying, these men, back then that he knew, they were unselfish. They didn't ask for any money. They were doing it, passing on a message that here's your problem, here's the solution, we'll help you with it. We're not just going to throw a meeting book at you. We're also going to say, hey, listen, you know, it's up to you. You need to call us. They didn' t do that. Thank God they didn' d do that! We wouldn' t be sober if they did that. Well, I'm sober. They know where to find me. They can come to me. Right? Like, that's an attitude that people have. Yeah, if you want what I'll have, you'll do what I did. I'm not sure I want what you have. You know. Okay. They believe in themselves. I often wonder, like, do we believe in ourselves? As a society, as a fellowship, does AA still believe in themselves because I think there's a constant schism in AA you know people the middle of the road meetings of well you know just show up suit up and show up you know it's like joining the gym they're not working out you know like that like I don't think and that's why we have people that come into AA and they leave and they relapse and they say AA doesn't work you know obviously because they're now getting AA Do we believe in ourselves? I believe in AA. I believe it is 100% effective. 100%. I believe it never fails. Never fails. Right? I believe that. So if I believe that's what's going to drive me because ultimately folks that's not what it's about. It's about belief. When I was drinking I believed that alcohol was God. I believed it. So therefore I had faith in it. It did everything I needed it to do. It made me taller, stronger, faster, funnier, better looking. It did every thing. And I protected it. And if you tried to take it away from me, look out. So I look at it from the point of view of that's what I believe about God. Don't for one second think you're going to take God away from Me. and I feel sorry for people who are atheists or agnostics, man. I do. I feel so sorry for them. I feel sorrow for them so did Dr. Bob so did most of the early members of AA okay, because you know, to just be caught in I have to be the center of the universe I have a lot of people I have got to be the master of the universal that's too big of a job I don't want that they don't pay me enough for that you know then I'm on call 24 hours you know I get answered people's prayers you know like it doesn't work right, so you know I don't have to do that. There's something that's got all power and that power pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death and all I have to say is talk to you about it. All I have do is show you that it's right there inside you and show you how to get it. You know, I always talk about it I don' t know if people remember Apex School of Technology I don''t remember those commercials remember that guy who was like the predecessor to like Billy Mays you know he'd always come on late at night you know you're sitting there with a half an eye you know watching whatever idiot movies on the TV. You know, do you want an apex school of technology? You come and you learn and we give you a toolbox. And we giveyou a tool and we teachyou how to use the tool and you put your tool in your toolbox and when you're done, the toolbox is yours to take with you. Right? Well, I kind of look at AA that way. It's kind of like apex schoolofsobriety. We teachyou the tools. That's what we're doing. We're givingyou a spiritual toolkit. We showyou how to use it. You take it, you put it in your spiritual toolbox, and you take it with you. And the box is yours to keep. Right? I have a big craftsman. That's how I see my toolbox. Right. I'm like, what do I need today? Oh, he just cut me up. He's begging in prayer. Where's that one of them? I'm okay. You've got a great minister. I need not to kill him. Right, good. You know, there's my toolbox, oh, but that's not working. Oh, I need the big drawer down here. I got to pull that out and go do some heavy work, some intensive work with other alcoholics. Right? I got my toolbox. So that's all I get to do. That's what I get to do here. This is what I get to do. For free! That's pretty cool. For free. There's plenty of people you know like 12 weeks to this and 30 days to that you know and they sell them on half hour infomercials and show you pretty women and good looking guys when you're in Hawaii. You know like all that crap. You know I show you a beaten up car Like hey man It's got 120,000 miles on it But it takes me to wherever God wants me to go Right It's God's car God's clothes God's job It all belongs to God That's all I am I'm just an instrument of God That's why I carry around a mug That has the prayer of St. Francis on it It reminds me constantly That I'm in and of myself I'm nothing I'm this idiot drunk That at 22 years old The best that I could do Was get to AA I've been great, wasn't I? so this is what I do and that's why I get fired up like this ok, so so then what does he say he repeats what we said before of course an alcoholic ought to be free from his physical craving for liquor and this often requires a definite hospital procedure before psychological measures can be of maximum benefit ok,so they can be a benefit but they're not going to be of minimum benefit because they're still craving alcohol their body is still going Ah, I'm getting a drink! Anybody identify with that? We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy. That the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. Never occurs. Okay, so somebody who shows up at AA has been sent here by the judge or their wife or their husband or their partner or whomever somebody to get off their back oh I think I'm having a problem oh I'm going to lose my job all that stuff you need to qualify them. Right there is the qualifier. When you drink do you want another one? When you're not drinking are you thinking about the next one? Or are you going long periods of time between drinking? Are you doing your work to the extent that you want to do your work so that way you can get to drinking? Do people's questions about your drinking bother you? Do you get angry when people question you about your drink? Do you make up excuses for why you drink? Okay, these questions, they're there. The phenomenon of craving occurs. It never occurs in the average temperate drinker. even the people that you see out at bars at the Super Bowl or whatever day it may be or sneak up a mile whoever the person that's an idiot that looked like you right but yet the next day they're like oh, a little out of whack okay, but then they go back to their life and there's no like major consequences there's not like oh, I can't wait to do that again there's now there's still like phone call of like oh, really how much do I owe you for bail? You know, there's none of that stuff happening to those people. And it never occurs. So that, like here's the best way I could describe my experience of drinking. My experience. When I put alcohol in my body all bets were off. I had no idea who you were getting at the end of the night, man. It could have been like good times, having a great time. Or it could have Been the guy who was like breaking into places. You know, like that extreme No idea I could not successfully predict 100% of the time What was going to happen Could not do it I never had one Of anything And I certainly never had One drink Never had one drink It would just make me thirsty Okay These allergic types Can never safely use Alcohol in any form at all Any form. Okay, well, form is gas, liquid, solid. Okay, so if you drink alcohol, we're in the liquid state. If you're smoking something that alters your brain chemistry, you are now in the gaseous state of alcohol. If you are taking pills, such as Xanax or Klonopin or Opius, you are not taking solid alcohol. It's not my opinion about it. It'snotmyfeelingaboutit. Those are the facts about those drugs. Don't take my word for it. Go look it up. Okay? MD usually means more drugs. When you go to the doctor, it means more drugs because, I mean, they're always, how are you feeling? What do you mean how am I feeling? I feel like crap. That's why I'm at the doctors. Does anybody go to the doctor when they're feeling great? I feel great. Just wanted to show up and let you know. No, you go to the doctor because something hurts. Something hurts. I mean pain. What kind of pain? I'm feeling anxious. What do you mean you're feeling anxious? You're feeling anxious when? All the time. I just can't seem to cope with anything. Really? Oh, okay. Well, it sounds like... And then they start asking you questions. Well you go through this. Yep, yep, yep. Oh, indicate dynamics. Here you go. and people usually skip out I've got my bag right folks are on an AA all the time people sitting around talking about I've had this much time and they're drooling on themselves in meetings listen people have their path and they've got to deal with that stuff I'm all for that but it's our responsibility to let them know that they're not on this path it's a responsibility because if it gets out there that, hey, you know what? It's okay for you to be in AA and say that you're sober if you're taking Xanax. Guess what's going to happen? I earned every second of my sobriety. Every second. I've been in a lot of pain. I have diagnoses that are outside of AA. Okay? I haven't. And it's not the same, you Know, when people constantly compare the apples to oranges. Okay, mental illness is not the same thing as diabetes. It's not. Neither is alcoholism. Okay? We don't need alcohol or drugs to survive. People with diabetes need insulin. Or they die. We don' t. How fortunate are we that we have an illness or if you're disease-minded, we have a disease that only requires not putting the substance in our body and believing in God to overcome it. That's pretty cool. You can't do that with diabetes. There's a lot of people who believe in God and have faith in God, and they'll die if they don't take their insulin and watch their diet and do the right things. Okay? So, you know, unfortunately for people who want to be in that class, like this is a program and a fellowship of complete abstinence. It's not like negotiable. Or else we'd say, Alcoholics Anonymous, well, with some, you know, other stuff you can take. Doesn't work that way. Okay, moving on. Okay, and once having formed this habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost all self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, meaning us themselves, right? Their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve. here's one of my favorite lines in this book frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices frothy you know like in a cappuccino frothy emotional appeal do you know what you're doing to us do you now what you are doing to this family do you not what you doing to me do you don't want to go into your cell yeah why don't you stop I care oh my god I can't look right it doesn't work it doesn' t work ok even though I'm quite emotional and quite frothy but you know it says seldom suffices so sometimes it suffices but ultimately when we're trying to reach the person right he says exactly what the message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight ok it says in nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power grade of themselves if they are to recreate their lives. So here's the doctor saying, once again, in nearly all cases because there's successions because that's how life is you know, throws us the curveball you need God that's what the doctor's saying you need god. If you don't have god, you're not going to recreate your life. Next right? So it has to have depth and weight. So it has to come from people like us. It has to come from people who have been there, know exactly how that person feels, says this is what I did and here's what I'm doing now. And take a look at me. Take a look at who I am. Take an look at the person. Take another look at my relationships with people. That's not how it used to be. Well, how'd you get there? I'm glad you asked. We have this toolbox. If any feels that a psychiatrist directing a hospital for alcoholics to be appears somewhat sentimental, let them stand with us a while in the firing line. See, the tragedies, the despairing wives, the little children, let the solving of these problems become a part of their daily work, and even of their sleeping moments. And the most cynical will not wonder that we have accepted and encouraged this movement. They accepted it and encouraged it. Not so much anymore. Oh, you just need our pills. Take the pills. That AA stuff doesn't work. Take a look. We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing. Nothing? Nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them. So how many times is that that it's unselfish? At least four so far, right? Okay, now here's what I talk about all the time. I really identify with this next part. It says men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. Notice it says men-women. it doesn't say alcohol it says men and women because that's why everybody drinks because they like the effect right the sensation is so elusive that while they admit that it is injurious they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false right to them their alcoholic life seems the only normal one so we have people that come through the door and they're new and they stop drinking and they are crazy right because we all are when we get here That's why the second step says restore to sanity. We're all crazy. We can't differentiate the truth and the false, and yet we want people to act normal. What's the matter with you? Don't you understand? No! No, they don't. They don't get that their way of thinking is upside down. I didn't get that my thinking was upside down, I just knew I was miserable and stuff wasn't working the right way. And that's why people with time would laugh. Keep coming. you know because I say these ridiculous things to them these ridiculous thought processes and there we go he's still there which is why I've experienced that throughout my recovery something happens somewhere around five years of people who are doing this deal and they're in recovery something happens I don't know why but it just does they hit that five mark and all of a sudden this beam goes on in their head and they are like oh and then like at 10 it happens again and throughout the process you know, I'm just waiting you know it happened for me at 20 I mean all those different stages you know I got to 20 and it was like it was two decades of my life in recovery I need a drink you know what I mean? like that's that's a long time that's the one time to do anything right? But then to not kill myself slowly, because that's what we do. We kill ourselves slowly. To not do that for two decades, right? You would think, okay, let's put it in a different perspective. You go to a doctor and you need a surgery. Let's call it a minor procedure. You need a minor procedures done. You go the doctor who is a specialist in that particular surgery. Well he has a fellow underneath him. And this fellow just graduated from medical school last week. And he's done the procedure a few times, he's assisted on a few of them, and he did it once or twice. Who do you want doing your surgery? The fellow, or the doctor who's been doing that surgery for 20 years. But for some reason, in Alcoholics Anonymous, people with 20 years of recovery know nothing. We don't. You don't know anything. Ah, what do you know? Apparently nothing is 20 years. Because that's how newcomers treat us. What do you no? They'd rather listen to the person who's giving them the answers than they want to hear who's only sober six months. We all have today. No, we don't, because those two doctors don't just have today, right? Okay, I'm sorry. Like, I got up this morning somewhere around quarter to eight. if you got up before quarter to eight unless you're sober prior to May 2nd 1992, you're not sober longer than me that's just how it works and if you want to argue that then why do we celebrate time? Why do we recognize anniversaries if all we have is today? Why are we recognizing anniversities? If all we had was today, nobody has an anniversary ever It's so important to know that that's when I stopped killing myself. That particular day is when I stopped killing myself and allowed my life to change. That's why it's so important. Right? The person who's sober three days, I mean, it's wonderful, miraculous, glorious that they're sober three days. But they don't know more about recovery than I do. Simple. You know? And take it back. Don't allow that to run around in AA. Take that back. You earned it. You earned that. Okay? So it's really important to understand that. That's where we are. We can differentiate the true from the false. I can differentiate the truth from the force. Right? I know what's right and wrong. That's how that is. Okay, so now, here's the best one. This is what I like. They are restless, irritable, and discontented until they can get that, until they again experience that sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks. Drinks which they see others taking with impunity. Without punishment, taking, you know, like those people that we talked about, right? Now my experience of that, let's see if you can identify with this, is that the first time I had a drink, right, I put it in my body, I had that shake, right? That feeling, that light switch went off in my head and I had a feeling of ooh, ah, yeah. Okay? That was the sense of ease and comfort It came at once. And it was on from that point forward. That was the feeling I chased all the time. I knew I was going to get that ooh-ah-yeah the first time I took a drink. Every time. So that's why I obsessed about it. I couldn't wait. Couldn't wait to get the ooh-ahh-yeah. And then who knows what happened after that. But that was ooh-rah-yeah, right? Because I had, I didn't have impunity. I had a lot of punity, you know what I mean? Right? After they succumbed to this desire again as so many do and the phenomenon of craving develops they pass through the well-known stages of the spree emerging remorseful with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery. Entire psychic change. Not a little not mostly entire. I can no longer think about alcohol as a solution because that's I wasn't a problem drinker I was a solution drinker. Alcohol was my solution right, so I need to have an entire section my brain needs to be flipped around I need it to be brainwashed I need this to come into the cult of AA and be brainwatched because I thought alcohol was my solution it's not anymore it kills me, it's my poison it will kill me, slowly I would hope that it would kill me quick but it won't God will be laughing going see stupid that's what would happen to me and then he gives us hope right here on the other hand and strange as it may seem to those who do not understand once a psychic change has occurred the very same person who seemed doomed who had so many problems he described of every solvent suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol. What? How did he do that? The only effort necessary being that required was to follow a few simple rules. Well 12 of them to be exact because that's what that produces men have cried out to me in sincere and despairing appeal doctor I cannot go on like this I have everything to live for I must stop but I cannot you must help me faced with this problem if a doctor is honest with themselves God I wish they were he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy although he gives all that is in him it is often not enough one feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change. Essential meaning the essence, the basics the minimum it's needed. The essential psychic change, it needs to happen in order for that and there he is again, a doctor again talking about God as the answer right? Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable we physicians must admit that we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. Many types do not respond to the ordinary psychological approach. You know, just change your thinking. You know when you want to drink? Just think to drink through. What? Yeah, I'm thinking it through. Sounds good to me. It's gone. It's on. Then he says, I do not hold with those who believe that alcohol is entirely a problem of mental control. I've had many men who have for example worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date favorably to them. They took a drink or so prior to the date, and the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important date, important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape. They were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. So again, once you put it in, who I am. Let's go. It's on. Wait a minute. You have that important thing. But I need a drink. Yeah, but it's good. It can be good. No, I need to drink. Need a drink. You gotta go. Drink. Gotta have a drink No, but we have Right? Because we have this obsession of alcohol which compels us to get the alcohol and then here we go over and over and then we need that wedge and that wedge is gone because that's the only thing that stops it, right? Okay, so then there are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which caused men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight so once that phenomenon of craving is firmly established it's not nothing going to shake that so let me get into the classifications classification of alcoholics seem most difficult and in much detail outside the scope of this book there are of course the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable we are all familiar with this type they are always going on the wagon for keeps They are over-remorseful and make resolutions but never decisions. You know who they are. Maybe you were one of them at one time. I know I was. But I'll never do it again. I'm sorry I did that. And so I drank again. Right? Because that's what it was. He was the type of man who is unwilling to admit he cannot take a drink. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. Well, I'll just have wine. I'll lay away from the scotch I'm not an alcoholic I'm a businessman I need to drink over business deals you know, it's weird there is a type who always believes that after a period of being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger we usually see that most of us, we see that in these rooms all the time. I mean, I'm very fortunate like I pay attention to that because there have been times through my early recovery that I thought having a drink was a good idea and then I would see somebody that did it for me and I went, oh yeah, yeah, no way because it was never one and I knew what happened it was number one, right? There's the manic-depressive type who is perhaps the least understood by his friends and about whom a whole chapter could be written and we didn't write the chapter. Then there are the types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. You know anybody like that? They are often able, intelligent, friendly people. So there's five of them. And at some point in my life I've qualified for every single one of them One person, five different categories. Somebody says this All these and many others have one symptom in common, and there it is my colon they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving this phenomenon as we suggested may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people and sets them apart as a distinct entity so once again he's restating the fact normal drinkers don't have this effect, only alcoholics only alcoholists so then he says it has never been by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence. That's it, entire abstinnence. So, you know, I have like another page or something, you know. It's at the hour, so if you need to go, go. If you want me to stop, I'll stop. I'd like to finish up this chapter so I can move on next week. You guys got a pinch here or something in like five minutes after. What do you want? Do you want to stop or finish up? Finish up. Okay, so here we go. This immediately precipitates us into a seething cauldron of debate. Much has been written pro and con, but among us physicians, the general opinion seems to be that most chronic alcoholics are doomed. Doomed, right? We fooled them, didn't we? What is the solution? Perhaps I can answer this by relating one of my experiences. These are also in the articles, right. About one year prior to this experience, a man was brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism. He had been partially recovered from a gastric hemorrhage and seemed to be in the case of pathological mental deterioration. He had lost everything worthwhile in life and was only living, one might say, to drink. He frankly admitted and believed that for him there was no hope. Following the elimination of alcohol, there was found to be no permanent brain injury. Oh, look at this. He accepted the plan outlined in this book. one year later he called to see me and I experienced a very strange sensation I knew the man by name and partially recognized his features but there all resemblance ended from a trembling despairing nervous wreck had emerged a man brooding over with self-reliance and contentment I talked with him for some time but I was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before to me he was a stranger so he left me a long time has passed with no return to alcohol now that man that he's talking about is Hank Parkhurst he wrote the chapter 2 employers in this book and unfortunately relapsed but we'll get into that later on when I need a mental uplift I often think of another case brought in by a physician prominent in New York which was the director at Bellevue sent this guy in the patient had made his own diagnosis saying well I'm a drunk and deciding his situation hopeless had hidden in a deserted barn determined to die he was rescued by a searching party and in desperate condition brought to me, following his physical rehabilitation. He had a talk with me in which he frankly stated he thought the treatment a waste of effort unless I could assure him, which no one ever had, that in the future he would have the quote-unquote willpower to resist the impulse to drink. His alcoholic problem was so complex, his depression so great, that he felt his only hope would be through what we then called quote- unquote moral psychology and we doubted even that would have any effect. However, he did become quote-unquote sold on the ideas contained in this book. He has not had a drink for a great many years. I see him now and then, and he's as fine a specimen of manhood as one could wish to meet. That man was Fitzmayor. He was the man who showed up at court with Roland Hazard to vouch for M.B. Thatcher. He says, I earnestly advise every alcoholic to, oh, read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain depressed. William D. Silberis, M.D. So, yeah, that's the medical estimate. So next week, we'll get into that and that's about all I have. Thanks.