The Difference Between Fellowship and Recovery – Howard E.

okay my name is howard eber i am still an alcoholic uh i'd like to welcome everyone to uh i guess what is week 43 of our cycle uh this will probably be the penultimate episode we're going to be finishing doing a lot of work in a vision for you where we are is on page 158 of a vision für you um we have talked about uh bill and bob getting together and them deciding that they need to work with others if they are to stay sober. And so they set out to help another individual by the name of Bill Dotson, who we've come to know as AA number three. And we also talked about last week about the fact that there might have been one or two people, in fact, probably were one or deux people that Bill and Bob worked with before Bill Datson. And just a couple of them in case anyone is interested. Let me get some of these, see if I can get the pictures done right this week. Let's see. I'm looking for number 20 here. This was something that was sent to me by the people at Stepping Stones. They publish a little magazine every once in a while. and in it, it talks about an individual by the name of Fred B. In a letter from Sam Shoemaker, he makes reference to the fact that Sam B was the person who Bill worked with first. In this letter, it says you must remember that you are the first person I ever tried to help following my own recovery for that reason and even more because you are, Fred, you always will have a special place of attention in our memories. For what it's worth, there's an individual who we worked with apparently even before, maybe before, Dr. Bob. But be that as it may, there are others and one of the others was our friend Eddie Riley. And I'll put Eddie Riley back up because Eddie Riley's got an interesting story to go with his history here. Eddie Riley Let me blow this up a little bit so you can see it a little better. Where am I here? Okay. Okay, Eddie Riley. Eddie is the individual who was working with Dr. Bob and he relapsed. And in one of his relapses, he chased Dr. Bob's wife, Ann, around the house with a butcher's knife. so it kind of altered the way they looked at taking drunks in off the street for from that point on but edgar riley eddie r is the individual who they worked with before dr bob who had that episode with the knife running around the kitchen and where we are today is on page 158 um let's say paragraph four um that was june 26 1935 we're talking about um uh bill dodson's uh sobriety date he never drank again he too has become a respected and useful member of his community he has helped other men recover, and is a power in the church from which he was long absent. So you see, there were three alcoholics in that time who now felt, and I've highlighted this phrase, they had to give to others what they had found or be sunk. And of course, the words had to are circled in green because we indicate musts in green um i've sent it out in the emails if you like uh anita will put it in the chat the color code for our highlighting we use green for the musts we use prayers and promises in pink uh we indicate recovered references in orange, and approach references in blue. There are quite a few of all of those things. And as you're studying the book, it helps if you're looking for all the musts, well look for all the green indications. If you're Looking for prayers and promises, just look for all of the pink highlights. So we have highlighted this they had to give to others what they found or be sunk. And above the word sunk, I wrote drunk. Because that's what's being sunk is if you're an alcoholic, it's drunk. After several failures to find others, a fourth turned up. He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news. He proved to be a devil-may-care young fellow whose parents could not make out whether he wanted to stop drinking or not. They were deeply religious people, much shocked by their son's refusal to have anything to do with the church. He suffered horribly from his sprees, but it seemed as if nothing could be done for him. He consented, however, to go to the hospital where he occupied the very room recently vacated by the lawyer. That Devil May Care character we're talking about, his name is Ernie G. Ernie Galbraith, G-A-L-B-R-A I-T-H, Ernie Galbraithe. I believe I have a picture of Ernie or something here we can refer to. Let me find that for you. There we go. Let me blow this up so you can see it. Ernie Galbraith for what it's worth pursued and eventually married Dr. Bob's daughter Sue against Dr. Bobs wishes she did so the marriage did not last very long and when it came to talking about Ernie G Dr. Bob said he was quote uniquely unlikable I guess he was trying to be polite and saying he didn't care for the guy but he called there Ernie Galbraith a uniquely unlikeable his story is in the uh was in the big book it's now an Experience Strengths and Hope, and it's called The Seven-Month Slip. That's who we're talking about. The Seven Month Slip in the Experience Strength and Hope book is Ernie Galbraith's story. Let's continue in the book. Top of page 159, he had three visitors, presumably Bill, Dr. Bob and Bill Dodson he had three visitors after a bit he said the way you fellas put the spiritual stuff makes sense I'm ready to do business I guess the old folks were right after all so one more was added to the fellowship all this time our friend of the hotel lobby incident remained in that town. That's, of course, Bill Wilson, not Bill Dodson. Let me close this up so I can see what's going on a little better. Okay. He was there three months. He was staying with Dr. Bob the whole time after he was abandoned by his partners in the Mayflower Hotel. He went to stay with Dr. Bob, and that's where he remained for three months, with Lois remaining in New York, coming out periodically, but remaining in new york to earn a living for them. He was there three months. He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, Dr. Bob, the lawyer Bill Dodson, and the devil-may-care chap who we now know as Ernie G., Ernie Galbraith. These men had found something brand new in life. Now please highlight the next oh two sentences now we've spent 159 pages in this book being told repeatedly in numerous ways numerous times that the most important thing that we could do as alcoholics is work with another alcoholic you know it works when all else fails and so on i quotes we can refer to till we're blue in the face. The point being, for 159 pages, Bill has been telling us that's the most important thing we can do. Well, he's about to say something different. The first sentence, and I've highlighted, like I said, both sentences, I've underlined the whole first sentence. Though they knew they must help other alcoholics, and must is highlighted in green, If they would remain sober, here it is. That motive became secondary. So for 159 pages, he's telling us nothing is more important than working with others. Here we are on page 159, four or five pages before the curtain drops on Bill Wilson's writing in this book. And he says that's not necessarily the most important thing. The next sentence is underlined as well. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. What does that mean? Well, if I am working with others because I'm told I must do so to stay sober, there's a certain element of fear as a motive. I'm helping you because I've got relapse. I've Got Alcohol breathing down my neck, and I don't want that. So I continue to help others because that's how I stay sober. But Bill is saying that we need to have a much greater, better motive. And that motive is that we do it because we found happiness in giving of ourselves for others. It doesn't say two others, it's four others because we are being of service. That's what Bill has been telling us from the very beginning. Our job is to stay close to God and to help our fellow man to be of service so Bill is saying here that the motive of helping others is still the most important thing we have to do but the motive can't be based in fear the motive must be on a higher plane that of wanting to work with others because we sincerely deeply want to work for others to do for others becausewe get enjoyment and value out of our lives because we do that for others, not because we're afraid if we don't something bad is going to happen to us. So I think that's a really interesting line and he throws it in at a very appropriate time towards the end of his stay with in the book. Going on he said they shared their homes, their slender resources and gladly devoted their spare hours to fellow sufferers. They were willing by day or night to place a new man in the hospital, and please highlight this, and visit him afterwards. And you may want to write in the margin or above where it says that how often do I do that? i mean i'm i'm just as guilty as anyone else i i've taken a great many people to emergency rooms to detoxes to treatment centers have i always followed up and visited them on visiting days and so on i'd like to say i did but i don't so it's something i would like to strive to do better but it's a question to ask yourself something we should be doing i guess because the book is suggesting it but is it something that we are doing um they grew in numbers they experienced a few distressing failures but in those cases they made an effort to bring the man's family into a spiritual way of living thus relieving much worry and suffering so they realized that if they were being brought in to help a member of the family, and that person was not willing. It was one of those can-nots or will-noths. They at least tried to help the family. Now, there was no Allen on it this time, but the concept was there. And that's what they were talking about. And it says at the very beginning of the book, remember, that we think our way of living has its applications for all, not just the alcoholic the family of the alcoholic civilization as a whole is much better off because we're off the streets when we're drinking we're not behind the wheel of a car but he's just saying here if the family doesn't respond if the individual doesn't correspond no reason we shouldn't offer this way of life to the family and now especially thank god we have alan on okay um where am i leaving much worry a year and six months later please highlight this these three had succeeded with seven more now i think some of you probably have gotten used to the fact that things like that make me curious that's like chum in the water when i see something that says they they worked with seven others i want to know who they are it doesn't say here so right away my my questioning goes well who are we talking about who are these people and i've spoken to a number of people and i've done a little bit of my own research and i came up with a list of names and i sent those names to AA World Services just to get an idea of whether I was on the right track or not. And basically, they said when it comes right down to it, they don't really know exactly who Bill was referring to. It could have been the numbers that I suggested, and I'm going to show you who they are in a moment but they don't know for certain and one of the handouts i sent out was called the pioneers of alcoholics anonymous and let me put it up here on the screen because this is what world services sent me back uh and every time i contact them they have a vision of this but this was one of the ones that they sent me that breaks down who the the initial members of our society were and I put a number next to them to count because he said they had three to start with and then they had seven more so my what my addition is that means there are 10 people Bill is talking about. So who are the 10? Obviously, we have Bill Wilson as number one. Number two, Dr. Bob. Number three, obviously, Bill Dodson. And number four, we know is Ernie Galbraith. Now, Bill left Akron, went home to New York, and we know as soon as he got to New York, he worked with two individuals, Hank Parkhurst and Fitzmayor. So we now have six. So we're up to six of the 10 that he's talking about here. And here are some of the others that I had thought. Walter Bray, number seven, his story is The Backslider from the first edition. joe doppler number eight his story is the european drinker myron williams number nine his story his hindsight and paul stanley number 10 truth freed me now again this was just uh something that that i had thought of and i got some information here from barefoot's world but World Services verified exactly what we were talking about, and they indicated we just don't know for certain. So your guess could be as good as anybody else's. The point is we know a lot of the names. We may not have the order correct. So you just might find that interesting. There's any number of ways to get different lists. If you just Google the first 100, you'll get all kinds of different lists most of them will have the same names on it maybe a little different order but they make sense so I had written down that I thought that there's seven others were as they said we had Ernie then we had Walter and Joe Doppler and Paul Stanley and Fitz and Hank Parkhurst than Meyer and Jack Williams. Be that as it may, let's get back to the book because it's not important really who those seven others are. There were seven others and there were a lot more after that. These three had succeeded with seven more. Seeing much of each other, and we're at the last paragraph on 159. Don't mean to lose anybody. Seeing much of each other, scarce an evening passed that someone's home did not shelter, and please highlight this, a little gathering of men and women happy in their release and constantly thinking how they might present their discovery to some newcomer. And I've underlined that word constantly, constantly thinking. So once again, Bill is telling us why we meet. Why do we go to meetings? Way, way back when I think it was page 14, he says we get together so that we can provide an environment for the newcomer, the newcomers. Here he says it once again, that the point of getting together is figuring out ways of how we can present our discovery, our recovery program to the newcomer. It's all about the newcomers. Going to meetings was never intended to be a place where we could just go and dump stuff in the middle of the room, stink up the place, and then just leave. Meetings were intended for the newcomer. That's where we get people that we can work with and take with through the 12 steps. If we've had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, part one of step 12, where we go to find people to work with in the second part of step 12 to charge, to carry this message of recovery through the 12 steps is at meetings, is where we'll find the newcomer and we're doing a better job now than we ever did. I really think we are I think Zoom, and here's where I'll get on a soapbox, I think zoom has really helped us. Most meetings you find on Zoom are literature-based, step-based recovery-based. I don't like the word recovery- based I like the term action-based meetings They're not just places to go where you could just talk about the latest adventures of Aunt Fanny and Uncle Fudd where you can talk about how your neighbor's dog keeps chewing up your newspaper and crapping on your front lawn That's not the purpose of these meetings. So, we get together to help the newcomer. Bottom of page 159, he says, in addition to these casual get togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be attended, and please highlight this, by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life. anyone or everyone interested in the spiritual way of life, remember when this book was written and published, April of 1939, the writers were still to some extent part of the Oxford groups. Less so in New York and Cleveland, more so in Akron, but they were still connected to some extent with the Oxford groups. And the Oxford groups had meetings like that, where everybody and anybody was welcome to attend. The alcoholic squad of the Oxford group didn't officially split off on their own and adopt the title of this book until the fall of 1939. The book was published in the spring of 39. By the fall of 39, we had officially broken away from the Oxford groups. But this was one of the things that the Oxford Groups did is have a meeting where anybody is welcome, not just their own members. And so we did the same thing with AA is we brought anybody in an open meeting who wanted to hear about and find out about what it is we're doing and how we'redoing it. So initially, we had that open meeting for everybody and please highlight the rest of this set paragraph aside from fellowship and sociability the prime object and i've underlined the word prime was to and you may want to underline this again provide a time and a place where But is that what? Oh, newcomers might bring their problems. Newcomers. Not the guy with a lot of time who wants to keep coming each week and insists on holding the group hostage as he talks about the latest argument he had with the kids or the neighbor or the boss. That's not the purpose of these meetings. It is to convey a message to the newcomer and to get them started on this path. Like I said, I think Zoom has helped us doing a great job with it, and we're getting back to going to outside meetings, and we can't forget about that. The outside meetings that Kathy and I go to are all step-based meetings, but there are still those events of the day meetings, and it's our job to try and get them back into the program. Otherwise, we'll revert back to just being a non-drinking society, and that's not what this is. It's not where it was supposed to be. So I think Zoom has helped us enormously. Let's keep it going. Let'S take what we have here to the meetings we go to outside of here. Now I'll get off the soapbox. Okay, page 160. Outsiders became interested. One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd. So they were meeting for the most part in Akron, in Dr. Bob's living room, in New York, in Bill's livingroom, and in Akran in particular, they had outgrown Bill's, Dr. Bob's living room. So a non-alcoholic member of the Oxford group who was very sympathetic to what we were doing, a wealthy couple by the name of t henry and clarice c-l-a-r-a c-e williams invited us to use their spacious home for meetings and i think i have a couple of pictures of their home let me see if i could find it um i would just like to give these people a little credit so bear with me for a second while i find this for you um There we go. This is a picture of T. Henry and Clarice. That is a image of T-Henry and Clarisse. This is also a picture from Google Maps of their home as it exists today. I think I have another picture of it that might be interesting. Hang on a sec, let me find it. Here's an inside picture of the home where they would have the meetings you could see the uh living room in the bottom picture although it's a little blurry is a quite a bit bigger than dr bob's house or or bill wilson's living room so uh they gave us this space to use but in time we can't do this i'm sorry can't see it you can't See that picture oh i'm Sorry give me a second let me put this back up All right. Now let me share it. I see what happened. I didn't share it Okay, you should be able to see it now and let me blow it up a little bit so you can see what I'm talking about. This is the interior of their home. The top picture shows the entranceway into the living room, which is where I'm kind of circling here, and this picture below is the living room. So you can see it's got a lot more room than Dr. Bob's home and Bill's home. So they made use of their home but we outgrew that place and eventually we started to meet let me see if i could find it for you without going through all these other pictures hang on a sec go back this way there we go we started meeting at the first aa meeting to be held outside of somebody's home was held at this place, King's School in Akron. That meeting continues to this day. You can visit it and attend it every Wednesday at 8 p.m. Eastern time on Zoom. There's the ID numbers. I'll blow it up a little bit if you like. The Zoom ID to attend the King's school meeting. And again, the King's School is the first AA meeting outside of somebody's home. The ID is 9265-158-0558. That's Wednesday at 8 p.m., King's School in Akron, Ohio. It remains an open meeting today and they've been broadcasting it through zoom all through covet as well so if you'd like to attend it there it is okay let me get back to the book because we've gone off in a number of different directions here um we're on page 160 the first paragraph um many outsiders became interested a man and his wife placed their large home into disposal of this uniquely assorted crowd as i said that was the williams family And if you're interested, you want to Google Earth it? The address is 876 Palisades Drive in Akron, Ohio. 876. Palisade's Drive in akron. You want to get nosy and jump on Google Earth and find take a look at it. There it is. That's how I got the picture of the front of the house. okay uh this couple's has since become so fascinated that they dedicated their home to the work many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew her problem to hear from the lips of their husbands what had happened to them to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled. The word approached, of course, is in blue. We highlight all the approached references in blue and there's a lot of them. I think I may have sent out a copy of it when we were doing the Principles of Success, but if I didn't and you'd like a copy, just send a request to the big book study at AOL.com and ask for the approach references, and I'll get them sent to you. But there's another interesting point about the sentence we just read. The sentence is over six lines long. It can be, and very likely is probably, the longest single sentence in this book, and Bill Wilson had a tendency to use run-on sentences a lot. As a grammar major, as an English major, I constantly notice how often he does that. Here is probably the longest single example of that in the book. The longest run-one sentence in thebook is the one we just read okay um many a man and please highlight the uh next three lines yet dazed from his hospital experience has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer and that answer is the solution so many people came straight out of the hospital and walked into dr bob's or the site the williams home or king school he succumbed to the gay crowd inside um again we're not talking about the same kind of gay crowd as we may be talking about today we're just talking about the gaiety, the happiness, the joy that emanates from any AA meeting. And we've managed to carry it through to Zoom too, on most meetings that are well established, that have a lot of people coming back all the time. I just came from one this morning, the great, great Bronx Big Book study. There's a whole group of people that are back just to talk to one another a half hour after meeting and they hang around for an hour after the meeting in the parking lot i love that so we're continuing that um but continuing with the book he succumbed to the gay crowd inside who laughed at their own misfortunes and understood his anyone identify with that right we tell some of our stories to family members or business people they like oh my god that's a terrible story you tell us those same stories will be doubled over in laughter with you because we see the humor in those things and i think when we start to see the humour in these stories we start to get better. I don't know if I ever shared this story. I'm a big jazz major, and when I was in treatment for the first time in 1983, I was in Westport, Connecticut, and they had a meeting, an open meeting each week where people from the community, recovering people, could come and visit be part of the group and one night I recognized a famous jazz guitarist Larry C sitting at the back of the room um unfortunately Larry is no longer with us he passed away a few years ago uh and most people know that I'm talking about Larry Correale because he did use his last name at the end but the point being no one else in the room knew he was there I recognized him and I wanted to impress him so I started I raised my hand and I started to share what I thought was some really gut-wrenching serious stuff and all the people all of the patients who are in the hospital with me were like oh yeah oh oh that's terrible oh yeah I identify with that and I look in the back of the room and Larry C is doing everything he can to stifle his laughter and during the break, he came over and he said, Howard, I want you to understand something. I wasn't laughing with you. I was laughing at you. And when you begin to be able to laugh at those things that you think are so serious, that's when you'll start to get better. And it's one of the reasons why I insist on having a sense of humor in recovery. Larry C. taught me that, that one of the signs of being healthy, I think, is being able to laugh at ourselves. I'm not saying anybody else, just laugh at our own mistakes. So that's what we're talking about here. Continuing impressed by those who visited him at the hospital, he capitulated entirely when later in an upper room of the house he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own uh capitulated just means conceded he capituated he concedED entirely not surrendered bear in mind that word surrender doesn't appear anywhere in the first 164 pages of the book we think it does but it doesn't it appears in other words like concession like capitulated but he capitulated later in an upper room he heard the story of some man who's experienced closely tallied with his own the expression on the faces of the women that indefinable something in the eyes of the of the men the stimulating and electric atmosphere of the place conspired to let him know that there was Haven at last. And Haven, incidentally, was at one point thought to be a good title for our book. They were thinking of calling it Haven by Alcoholics Anonymous. It eventually lost out to A Way Out by Alcoholic Anonymous, and that eventually gave way to just Alcoholics Anonymous. But Haven just means a safe place. A haven is a sanctuary, a place of safety, a shelter from the storm, to quote Bob Dylan. Later in an upper room in the house, he heard the story of some man who's, oh no, he had, there was haven at last. And please highlight this last paragraph on the bottom of the page. Please highlight the whole paragraph on this page. The very practical approach to his problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding which these people had were irresistible. These are the attributes of Alcoholics Anonymous that attract people. We talk about being a program of attraction. These are some of the things that attract people to us. There's no need for promotion if you walk into a meeting and you find these things this is our way by our behavior it is our way of saying here we are join us if you wish to be part of this not beating on anyone over the head it's just you come in and you fine these things and who wouldn't want to be part of a place that again shows an absence of intolerance, an informality, a genuine democracy. The uncanny understanding of those people who had were irresistible. Isn't that what we look for when we come in? We don't want to be beaten over the head. We don'T want to be criticized. We've had our family do that enough over the years. We want to come in and be welcomed, and incidentally, and I don't mean to be controversial, but when you take into consideration the things we just read, I don t know how you could walk up to a newcomer and say, shut up and listen i don't think that jives with these other things there are ways to say things there are days to be welcoming without being rude because that sends people out the door okay off the soapbox again um and incidentally what we just described here was also described way back on on page 17 where we talked about having shared in the common peril remember on page17 we said that the common peril the fellowship is one part of the cement that binds us together that the common solution this steps is the other element in the cement that binds us together. But we're talking here about that fellowship. What is the fellowship? We shared in this common peril, and we experienced informality in the lack of intolerance, general democracy, understanding, and so on. He and his wife will, and please highlight this, will leave elated by the thought of what they could now do for some stricken acquaintance and his family. Let me go back a little bit and point out that when they came into that home, When they came into the house, I think page 160, the paragraph that begins with many a man yet days from his hospital experience had stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom. Many who entered there came away with an answer. So if someone's coming away with Anansha, that means they're going there to get something. Right? You're coming out of treatment. You're being brought to this place. you want something. You want to come away with something. It's natural. Look what happens when they leave. Bill says, they leave elated by the thought of what they could do now for someone else. They come in thinking, what can I get for me? How can I get help, and that's natural. But they leave thinking of somebody else. Remember Bill Wilson when he was in Towns Hospital? He went in selfish, self-centered to the max. He had a spiritual experience, and the very first thought he had was not to go back to Wall Street and make a fortune, was to give away what was so freely given to him that's change that's what we have to offer okay continuing top of page 161 they knew they had a host of new friends it seemed they had known these strangers always anyone identify with that you walk into a room of strangers And within a few minutes, I think I've known these people my whole life. And I've highlighted this next sentence in pink. This is a promise. They had seen miracles and one was to come to them. They had envisioned the great reality, their loving and all-powerful creator. and again notice all these words are in uppercase and whenever Bill does that he's saying God he's indicating God so they come and they find something here they come looking and look what they find deep down in every one of them was this fundamental concept and they didn't even know it was there. They left now, having recognized that, and now want to give it to others. I spoke this morning at the Bronx Big Book Study, and the topic that they asked me to talk about was my experience, how I accessed and maintained a relationship with my creator. And that's exactly what we're talking about here. We come into recovery, and we envision the great reality. We witness these things. We feel the loving and powerful hand of our creator. We see these miracles all around us. We are miracles. You know, people say that things don't change overnight. Well, think about the miracle of your date of sobriety. And then ask yourself, what were you doing the day before that? If that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is. It certainly is to me. I know exactly what I was doing the Day Before my sobriete date. And what I Was Doing on That First Date of Sobriety I Consider a Miracle. and we are filled there's a room full of 141 miracles here right now okay um now this house will hardly accommodate its weekly visitors with a number 60 to 80 as a rule alcoholics are being attracted from far and near from surrounding towns families drive long distances to be present a community 30 miles away that's cleveland ohio has 15 fellows of alcoholics anonymous being a large place we think that someday its fellows will number many hundreds um i should show you um who we're talking about here we're talking about clarence snyder clarenced snyDER had gotten sober with dr bob and brought aa to his community in uh cleveland started the first groups in cleveland uh was the first to adopt the name Alcoholics Anonymous was very largely the first group to break away from the Oxford group, which caused enormous controversy in the Akron community. In fact, there was a story of how a bunch of people in Akron had set out on a road trip to go up to Clarence's meeting in Cleveland with the intention of busting it up, with the attention of just creating disarray and chaos because they were going off on a tangent. And they really weren't. They were just separating themselves for Alcoholics Anonymous. And they failed in their effort to break it up. And obviously, we're here today largely because of that. Clarence Snyder, as far as I'm concerned, should be considered one of our founders. ClarenCE eventually moved down here to Florida, started a group in Maitland called the Rebos Club, R-E-B-O-S, which is sober backwards. Kathy and I have begun to attend meetings at that place. And there's a sense there, there's a presence in those rooms that's kind of creepy. But it is where Clarence eventually settled. ClarenCE came up with a great many things, like the concept of sponsorship, the concept of rotation within groups, the concepts of having levels of communication, different districts where groups communicate with one another. If you'd like to learn more about ClarenC, has a great book. One of our group members, Mitchell Klein, wrote it and I'll show you what it is. The book is called How It Worked. Now this is the original cover. They've changed the cover but it's called How it Worked, A Story of Clarence Snyder in the Early Days of AA in Cleveland by Mitchell Kaye. It's available on Amazon, just go to Amazon and type in how it worked and you'll find the book. I strongly, strongly recommend picking that up. If you'd like to learn there are three books basically about we have Dr. Bob and a Good Old Timers which talks about the Cleveland growth, I'm sorry Akron growth. We have Bill's book Pass It On talks mostly about in New York history. But this book gives us another perspective, the AA development in Akron in Cleveland, and how many, many things in Cleveland were adopted as part of our program today. And why isn't he recognized as one of the founders? Unfortunately, Clarence found himself on the wrong side of an argument with Bill Wilson. He sided with Hank Parkhurst when Hank went out and relapsed and spread a lot of ugly rumors about Bill. And Clarence was very much tied to that because he was related to Hank Parkhurst by marriage. But be that as it may, Clarenc Snyder is truly to be considered one of our founders. And I know I'm going to get bad some reaction from that. But the point is, I think he is responsible for so very, very many things just starting with sponsorship okay but off the soapbox again um uh fellowship of many number many hundreds please highlight this next sentence but life among alcoholics anonymous and underline this please more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals above where it says attending gatherings i wrote meetings fellowship and above visiting hospitals i wrote service so he's pointing out that again yeah it's great when we come to these meetings and we find all of these things this atmosphere of recovery this spirit of the fellowship. But let's not lose track of the fact that Alcoholics Anonymous is more than just fellowship and service. It's about recovery. It's a step program. It is about working the 12 steps. That is why there are three parts to that triangle, not two. cleaning up old scrapes helping to settle family differences explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents lending money and securing jobs for each other and i've highlighted this underlined it when justified when justified he's not saying just give everything away bring everybody into your house he's not saying that at all when justified these are everyday occurrences and let me go back to the beginning part of that sentence because there's something interesting i noticed he says cleaning up old scrapes helping to settle family differences most of my drinking and drugging career i was a source of nothing but chaos and confusion in my family and those around me. I was a source of constant misery to anybody who cared about me. And look what happens when we come into recovery. We clean up old scrapes, we help settle family differences. In other words, we become sources of harmony. remember on page 61 bill suggests that we be sources of harmony rather than confusion that's what we've become within our own families we're no longer a source of chaos and confusion we are sources of Harmony if we are able to help settle family differences and clean up old scrapes we're not causing problems anymore we have become productive members of our own family let alone society um and please highlight this no one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially and please underline this if he means business cordially just means sincerely In other words, we set aside our differences and we work in harmony towards our common goal. And in that sentence I read, it says no one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed. now the word welcomed i have highlighted in pink because i thought it is a promise that we welcome the newcomers someone else in one of our workshops suggested that it could be used as a word for approach to highlight it maybe in blue it's up to you you don't have to do any of those things. But it can be taken different ways. We are welcomed cordially, which is to me again a promise, come on in, we'll welcome you. And it's also an expression of approach. We're welcoming you. If I'm approaching you, if I'm welcoming you, I am approaching you. I'm bringing you into something. Social distinctions, petty rivalries and jealousies. these are laughed out of countenance uh countenace is just uh something we laugh at um as a way of showing disapproval as away of showing this is nonsense as a away of being unsupportive i think what larry coriel was doing for me that first meeting was laughing out of continents, showing me that being serious about these things is probably a bad idea. Continuing, I've highlighted this, being wrecked in the same vessel, being restored and united under one God. Does that sound familiar? Next to it, I've written, see page 17. Because once again, we're making reference to the fact that on page 17, Bill pointed out that having shared in a common peril, that's our fellowship, is one element of the cement that binds us together, that the common solution we found, the steps, are the two elements of the cement that bind us together. So Bill is just drawing reference to that once again. Being wrecked in the same vessel, we are sharing a common peril. See page 17? I think every newcomer should be pointed to page 17. And I know we're running late here, so let me at least finish this paragraph, with hearts and minds attuned to the welfare of others. And please highlight and underline this, the things which matter so much to some people no longer signify much to them. How could they? And I want to present a kind of a different point of view here on this, and then I'll wrap it up. When Bill says the things which matter so much to some people can be thought of, at least I think of, as being some of those petty annoyances, those worldly clamors that people log jam up our meetings with sometimes. They talk about the, again, disagreements within the family, the Aunt Fanny and Uncle Fudd story, the neighbor who doesn't understand. If someone has just rambled on for a long period of time about these petty annoyances, these worldly clamors, the things that used to matter much to us don't matter anymore, because that's not why we're here. So we're not here to embarrass, we're Not here to shame anyone. And we're NOT here to alienate or create controversy, because you don't know what you don' t know. But when we hear those things, it is really our job to raise our hand and share. You know, I used to think that all of my problems were caused by others as well. But when I got to the other side of this thing called recovery, as a result of my inventory and working the rest of the steps and making peace with my fellow man, I realized that I was the source of all of my problems. That's how we counteract that kind of nonsense. So the kind of things that used to mean so much to us, the things that newcomers bring in here and think are so important really are not. And we have to point out to them why they're not so important, that what's important here is a life-saving message of recovery through this process, through accessing our creator. I'm going to stop right there. We have asked Sarah to read page 164 and take us out, and let me get that up here so you could do that. Sarah, just give me a second. Here it is, and Sarah's going to start reading page 165, and about halfway through, I'm gonna ask everyone to unmute and join us in the rest and go right into the lord's prayer so sarah if you'd kindly unmute okay hi i'm sarah i'm an alcoholic um our book is meant to be suggestive only we realize you we realize we only know a little god will constantly disclose more to you and to us ask him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick the answers will come if your own house is in order but obviously you cannot transmit something that you haven't got see to it that your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass for you and countless others this is the great fact for us please on mute, then join us in the rest if you will. And Sarah, if you'd lead us into the Lord's Prayer as well. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Come, let us pray for our daily bread, and for those who trust in thee. And for those whose trust in me is not in temptation, but is not evil. please hang around we're gonna go dark for 15 minutes they ask that you turn your camera and audio off and join us