The Difference Between Being a Member and Getting on the Rocket Ship – Russell S.

Hi how y'all doing? My name is Russell, I'm an alcoholic. I'm a member of the Carl Gable's group of Alcoholics Anonymous. Let me just turn a couple pages here. What's going on back there? Somebody want to know, somebody not want to ask me last week, what's going in that back room? Is that another meeting or something? I think that's steerage or something. I don't know. It's like in the Titanic. that's all the Irishmen are back there the real out peace we got the real Alki's back there to protect you guys you know because it may be contagious well unfortunately I'm sorry to report that this this is a officially this is a third step meeting, so unaccustomed as I am to talk about God, I'm probably going to mention him during this meeting. And unfortunately, like last week, I already had this meeting on Wednesday. It was incredible. I'd never been to a meeting like the third step meeting I did Wednesday all by myself in my car. And just like it happened Wednesday, I just forgot the whole thing. You'll just have to take my word for it. So I vowed to myself. I had this brilliant idea. I said, you know, this is ridiculous. You know, I mean, you're coming up here, you now doing step meetings. You're having the step meetings up here in your car by yourself on Wednesdays. You really owe it to the group to prepare a little. So I vowed to myself that I was going to take notes in the chair and write down and take some time to properly memorialize the meeting I had on Wednesday by myself in my car so I could sort of spit it back to you tonight, and I had it all planned. I mean it really was. I'm not lying to you about this. I decided I would go into work today and, you know, I try to work as little as possible. I took, as a matter of fact, I was at the Dry Dock Club in San Francisco and at the dry dock club in San Fransisco about 10 years ago, it has all sorts of meetings that has, well, it's like San Francisco, OA, AA, ZA, you now, every A you could possibly imagine, you kno? And it has al these pamphlets around, like we have pamphlet, you kow, are you an alcoholic, are you this or that? So they had a pamphle and you take these tests, you gno, and you know like a 12 questions so they had this pamphlet there and it had to do with workaholism and so i took the uh the test because apparently they have something called workaholics anonymous or something and i took a test and i'm happy to report that that is the one disease i absolutely do not have i am not a workaholic apparently there are people who like like to work i don't understand that Well, I think a few of them are in AA because I say, can you go to me? He says, no, I got to work. You know, so I mean, you probably have a few here. I'd say African A, I mean there's a good reason not to go to work, you know. You know especially where alcoholism is like under the ADA ranked as a disease. You can tell your employer, look I'm an alcoholic, I can't work. You know and he's got to pay anyway. You know or you sue him or something. So I had this all planned that I was going to go in today and I was going to quit work because in order for me to get up here, you understand, and I have to start driving up at 9 o'clock in the morning. No, this is the truth. Frank, you know, so you don't feel sorry for me. I know you don'T anyway because you're alcoholics. All you do is think about yourselves. But I want to take some. That doesn't necessarily hurt my feelings, but it makes me feel I'm among brothers and sisters. But I'm driving, so, you see, you know what happens is I get picked up at the Carl Gables group by Frank. Is Frank here? He's hiding. I get pick up by Frank, and he's got like a van. And about four or five of us pile into the van, and he's got his van outfit with this big widescreen Flats TV. And last week we watched Godfather 1 all the way up here and back. And it took us two hours. We started off at 4 o'clock, we got here at 6 for dinner, and I watched the first two hours of Godfather 2, which is a phenomenal flick. You know? Because I need to watch Godfather in order to prepare myself for this group. Apparently. Yeah, so in any event, I had this plan down that I was going to leave work at 12 and outline the big... I was gonna do something. I don't know what I was doing. I had all these great ideas but unfortunately, apparently today, the crazy people start... You know, I'm a lawyer and lawyers represent people with problems and most people I represent that have problems are crazy and I can pretty much take crazy people, spread out. know what i mean properly spread out i think we could all take crazies you know i i specialize apparently i specialize in codependent women that's my specialty sure you guys are laughing you don't know what it's like wacko so uh you know yeah you know i think personally you draw certain people to you you know So I specialize in codependent women. I think pretty much because I'm usually very similar. I have similar traits to the abusive son of a bitch they're married to, you know what I mean? Except I'm an abusive son of a witch that actually would like to help them. You know what i mean? It's kind of hard to explain. But abusive nonetheless. But apparently, but it's tough. I can take them like spread out like one on Tuesday and one on Thursday and one On Friday. But I had them stacked up like planes over LaGuardia Airport. Now I know how, I don't know if we have any two-hatters here. You know, you know, two-hatters are guys who work in treatment centers. You see when you're an alcoholic and you're in AA and you do it for the gratis or the love of God or because, you Know, like Bill Wilson said, the Lord's been so great to me removing this terrible disease from me. when you're doing this out of your heart because you love people, it's not like you make it. It's like you can take them or leave them and if they're crazy, you say, hey look, find somebody else hang up the phone, whatever it is but when you've been paid a lot of money when you have to do it because you represent them I understand now why people who work in hospitals are absolutely crazy They got to work with these people all the time whether they like it or not Oh man, I got to go again So what was one of those days? So once again, I didn't have a chance to write down all this stuff and what happened on Wednesday. So we're winging it. But you know, this is, you know it's funny about the third step. I said this is probably the one time in the step series that I get to actually legitimately talk about the only thing I really want to talk about anyway and that I talk about throughout the entire step series in any event. So, and that's about the one thing I think is important in this whole deal. Now of course this is all my opinion. and I understand there are people that don't buy into this stuff and don't like this stuff and you know that's the great thing about AA you go to different meetings, you listen to different people you get to take what you like and leave the rest nothing in here is designed that's not going to hurt you it's not gonna kill you and I'm just like it's surprising to me in one sense it's surprisingly there's this great antipathy against God and having people talk about God and turn your life over to God and being focused on, allegedly, there's this great antipathy in AA. There's this Great, even in the book they say, you know, it's a horror story. We hate people talking about it. We don't want to hear about it, and the funny thing, the strange thing I find, and I'm just telling you what I find is, and I know this exists because I've heard people say it, and I've read people talk about it and I told you about that one kid who came up to me after the car and says, well, they say you're a good speaker, but you talk too much about God. I mean, you know, he was new enough, brand new, spanking new, so they didn't even realize what he was saying. But I mean I knew he had been talking to somebody who had been saying, oh, yeah, he's a brilliant speaker, but he talks too much about God. I mean there was somebody, a member of the fellowship, who was an older member of this fellowship, presumably somebody who read the big book about God, who started – who was like bad-mouthing God. And so I know that sort of sentiment exists. They knew it existed. And yet a funny thing happens to me in AA. And I'm just going to report to you what I've seen. You know, I've been doing this kind of series where, you know, my theme is pretty, you know, when somebody asks me to do a step series, they pretty much know what I'm about and what I am going to do. It doesn't come as a surprise. And what they're getting in for. And so I've being doing this sort of thing. And I know a few of you have gone through different series of the 12 and 12 and the back on track and different, you now, that this is the thing I do for 3, 4, 5, 10, for years I've be doing this deal. And, you know, the funny thing is that I have never found anybody has any problem with it. Well, maybe there's huge groups of people that hate me for it or anything, but you see what I've found is that when you frankly talk about your relationship with God and how important God is to you and you start reading stuff in the book, people are like amazed. People are saying, Jesus, I didn't know. Some people are going, I Didn't Know This Is What That Was About. People are like intrigued. And people get excited. And it excites other people to talk about God and to talk about what's in this book. And I think that the book is right when they say that alcoholics are people that have been through the ringer, have been through the bullshit, they've heard all the deals, they're tried everything, and they're really looking for a message of great weight and depth. I think people are waiting for somebody to get up there and say something that they haven't heard before, which will change their lives. You know, I think that's what they're waiting for. I think they're excited to hear about it. And I don't think it has anything to do with me. I think it Has to do With the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I mean, I'm constantly getting credit for reading the Big Books of Alcoholic Anonymous! I'm Constantly getting credit For amazing meetings Where I spend 90% of time Reading from the Big book of Alcoholists Anonymous I'll read something from the big which I'm going to do tonight I mean, I'm doing a great service in AA I'm reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous so I read from the big book about AlcoholicsAnonymous and somebody says, wow, did you hear that? That was like amazing where does this guy get this stuff? Like I'm doing something just have the guts to read the big book because people are either not reading the big book or they're believing the slop they're hearing in meetings which become glorified group therapy meetings my boyfriend, your girlfriend, my job, your job all this stuff, none of this stuff that is designed to get you rocketed into the fourth dimension of existence all the stuff that's designed to drag you right down into the dreck that you drank over nothing designed to change you just a bunch of people crying over each other's shoulders saying have a stiff upper lip, you know, this is just life, you know and get through it. None of the stuff that really is the stuff that has the power behind it as they say in the Bible, form a religion without power. Something that looks like AA, smells like AA but isn't even close to it. Looks more like some sort of hospital treatment deal or group therapy or something like that. And so that's what they think AA is all about, what they hear and need. And God forbid if anybody should hear it, say about God, say anything about God it slips down to the common denominator where some guy says don't listen to him or you don't have to worry about God or anything like that where if you read our basic text that we all agree on which is pure AA it's all about that deal that's the only thing it's about and then it becomes clearer and clearer and clearer I have this problem I don't know whether it's a problem I'm just going to share it with you honestly I'm going to honestly share it I was thinking about maybe talking about this and so I'm going to share it with you. And I'm going to change something tonight and we'll see how this works. I'm just going to change something. I have this problem, you know, you ever go to a movie or an event? Anybody ever have like a really, really, really, really close friend? You really, you know maybe, I don't care if it's a romantic interest. I don' t care who it is. A husband, wife, I don''t care. Somebody that you think about all the time, or you really love, or you really care about. You ever go to some sort of event? Maybe it's a movie. Maybe you're reading a book. You're somewhere. Maybe you are at the Grand Canyon. Maybe your at a place and you say to yourself, you ever do this thing? I wish so-and-so is here. I wish, you ever go a meeting and you say, man I wish my sister, I wish my mother, I wish my father, I wished my boyfriend, I wish, I wishes this person were here to hear this. Anybody ever have that deal going on? I have a, I don't think it's a problem it's just I think part of human nature. Part of my, listen I was at the Disney World this weekend I take some short right turns, you're going to have to follow me with my I have six grandkids and four granddaughters and two grandsons and a bunch of kids and everything. So I took two of my grandkids, the four-year-old who, it was her birthday, one of the four year olds, all my granddaughters, my grandsons, I think they're probably good looking, I don't know, but they're like about this tall. My granddaughter's like four or five years old, three years old and they're absolutely drop dead gorgeous. They all take after mothers and none of them take after me. They're really, some of you have seen them because you're on my email list and you've seen the emails I sent down. You know, you saw the email that I sent out of me with my granddaughter Natalie with my wife at Disney World with a castle and everything. So I was up at Disney world. It was absolutely gorgeous. You got to go up during this time of the year. And we did a day in Disney world, day at Sea World. And so I'm here with this little girl, you know. and we're walking around with my daughter and her husband the unfortunate downside of having grandkids is you've got to put up with your kids they ought to figure out how you can just get rid of the kids the kids just get in the way they say things like leave them alone, she's my daughter they should have nothing to do with raising those kids they don't know crap grandpas know how to raise granddaughters you spoil them and give them everything they want and never punish them ever so in any event I'm with my granddaughter and every hour or every half hour like on the button she turns to me and she says grandpa I love you I love you more than the sky you are the best grandpa you know so you know and you know it's like they say in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous you know people come in here and they talk about drinking or not drinking here's what they say in the Big Book they say we've experienced much of heaven we've been rocketed into the fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed now there are people in this room that have not been on the rocket ride they haven't even been close to the rocket They're just trying to figure out how not to drink one day at a time, and I understand that deal. But I've been on the rocket ride for some period of time now. And let me tell you something. When you're on the Rocket Ride, you want everybody to be on that rocket with you. Maybe it has to do with being an alcoholic. Maybe it hasn't to do that deal where you're sitting in a meeting and you say, man, I wish so-and-so would hear. But you see what happens with me is I want everybody to be beyond that rocket. Now I know unfortunately, and it's sort of disappointing, that a lot of people aren't going to get there. I understand that deal, you know? And it's always disappointing, and, you know, it can bring you down and say, how come he can't get it? How come this one can't get it?" But the truth is, when I'm doing the steps, what I really want, even though I know I'm not in charge of this, is I want everybody on that rocket ride. You know, I want everybody to be as excited. I want everybody to see this program in Technicolor. You know? And so what happens is, I don't want everybody to have the experience I had. If for any other reason, maybe it's selfish because I just want buddies. You know what I mean? I want somebody to say to me, man, I know exactly what you're talking about. You know the great thing about this is I get a lot of people that know exactly what I'm talking about, you know? I get those people that don't. But I want everybody to experience this thing. You know, getting into AA and not drinking is incredible. Sometime during my journey, as incredible as it was, you know, I'm 58 years old. So I remember when movies used to be in black and white. When TV used to being black and why now some of you even though you're younger than me have seen movies and TV or stuff like that in black-and-white has seen photographs of black and white and you know and you don't a light when you first come in it's great you know what I mean It's good to be sober, but it's like living life in black and white with the struggles and the problems and just waiting for something bad to happen even when something good is going on. Just waiting for the other shoot, just going through the anxieties and the stuff that we go through in life. But I'm going to tell you something. Somewhere during my 15th year, 16th year and I'm not going to go into that deal now. We'll go into it later on. Some stuff happened to me with this deal which had a lot to do with the third step that we're going to talk about tonight and even going farther because this is a program of growing and changing and developing and surrendering more you see that 11th step it says improve our conscious this is the program of improving that conscious contact some of you have a conscious contact with God of your understanding right now at 3 years at 5 years at 10 years but this is program of constantly seeking to improve that conscious contact. So I can assure you, whatever you're getting out of your conscious contact now, if you work this program, if you do this deal, it's going to be a different deal 10 years from now. It's goingto be a difference deal 20 years from now. And if it's not a different deal 10 or 20 years now, you're not doing this deal and you are going to pay the consequences for that. On the other hand, as you experience this program and as you grow in this program your relationship with God grows which means your faith grows, this program is going to turn from black and white to technicolor. You're going to live life in techniccolor. And there's a big difference between going to the movies and seeing a good movie in black and White and seeing that same movie in color. It's a bit different. It' s like when I first came to AA, it's like being given the coloring book, and all of a sudden you see the outlines of the pictures. You know what I mean? How they have the outlines of the positions. And as my faith grew, and I got more and more into what this program was really about, it's like the colors started getting filled in. And I'll tell you, it's an incredible... And I want everybody on this damn rocket ride. And so what happens to me, and what I do, and it's probably not fair to a lot of people, but I do it, and I have to admit to it, is when I go to an AA meeting, especially even when I get to the third step. We're on the third steps. We've done step one. We' ve done step two. Even though I know I've been all over the place and I'm always talking about that. And now we're on step three. My predilection is to think not about the people that have been here during step one or the people that had been here doing step two. My predilections to think about the people because I know there are probably people here who weren't here last week or weren't hear the week before. So you see in my mind what I want to do is I want to grab the people we left behind, you understand? And sort of talk about step three and sort of like grab them up and get them up to speed. You understand what I'm saying? in a sense that sort of waters down the step three deal because what I really should be doing, I feel, is I should be like assuming that I should be talking to and I am going to talk to the people who were here in step one and step two. And so I'm going to assume whether you were there or not, that you guys are ready for step three. See, I'm gonna assume that I'm not dealing with people that are battling whether or not they're powerless over alcohol in their lives that become unmanageable because you know what you want? You know what? Now, if you are, don't worry about it. Just listen, relax, because nothing I'm able to say is going to change that anyway. You know what I mean? I'm just telling you what this way you're going to get out of this, whatever you get out Of this, you may get something out of this. You may not, okay? I'm just telling you what this deal's going to be about. So, I'm going to assume that I'm not going to talk about being powerless over alcohol all your life, being unmanageable because we've done that. We've done that. That train's been robbed. And, you know, there's another step. It's called, we came to believe that a power granted ourselves could restore to society. And you know what I'm gonna assume? Because we're on step three. I'm assuming we've done that! That I don't have to talk to you about being powerless and I don' t have to tell you about your life being unmanageable. And I don't have to talk to you about you have to seek a power grid in yourself. I'm going to assume that we've done that. We've nailed that. We've robbed that train. I don' t have to go backwards and try to scoop up everybody. You've all been there for that. You know, you've already taken the test. You passed the test We're now at step three and that's what you want to know about So I'm gonna talk about step three Because then I can focus on what I really want to focus on I can focus on what I want to really focus on all the time And I can really hit the nail on the head and so that's what I and I'm going to read some stuff from the big book but I really want to and I'll tell you what, next time and I should have sent this down in the email I want you to bring me a big book just in case I accidentally slip something in here that's a lie because I'm gonna concentrate really on if I can find it wherever the heck it is I'm Gonna Concentrate On Something That You Read And I've Spoken About every meeting you go to and we're going to talk about what the third step is all about. Because, you know, you talk about it all the time. It says, rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. And that's read at every single meeting. And you see people all the same all the times, slipping, sliding, drinking, going sideways in this program, one year sober, 10 years sober, 20 years sober all over the place. even though at every single meeting no matter where you are in the country it says rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path so we're going to talk about thoroughly following the path they laid out and how many people really subscribe to it and how much people don't because I think for the most part, and I may be wrong, I haven't taken a survey and some guys will say you're wrong about that but I'm just going to say it, I have a feeling that most people, a lot of people don't really follow this path. They follow what they want to you know in the end people read what they want to read. They hang out with who they wantto hang outwith. They believe that which they really want to believe. They do that which they really wanna do. And it may bear absolutely no relationship to this program but they'll argue the heck out of it to try to convince you that it does. And in the end, if they can't convince you that it does and it doesn't fit within this book, they'll say something like well, it's whatever you interpret it. Or it's Whatever You Think. Or they'll stretch the word God as you understand them to mean anything, even atheism, which it clearly doesn't mean. Because if anything has a point if this book has any point at all, any point AT ALL it means that you better get off the atheism and the agnostic deal that there is a God that he wants a relationship with you and that's the only thing that's going to save you. You know, listen forget about the Baptist church that says if you don't find God you're going to be thrown into the fiery lake people get turned off by that and churches down everything. A is probably the only place where you say if you dont find God you are really going to die because that happens to be the truth according to our book because that's scriptural not according to the Bible but according to out book the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Y'all need to read the book AlcoholicsAnonymous. Not listen to me, not listen to everybody in here. Read the book because those people that read the books know what this book says. They understand that when people say rarely have we seen a patient fail who has thoroughly followed our path they know what the book is saying. And so I just want to read the book and we'll discuss what the book says but before I read the book I'm going to read a couple of things real fast just like a little precursor just through you know the same old things that I've been reading maybe throw a few more in page 13 my friend promised in Bill's story my friend promise when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my creator which I suppose could be a doorknob I suppose it could be a palm tree I suppose it could also be the great nimbus cloud or love if you believe that you were created by a nimbus cloud or something. I suppose it could be that. This book... Let me tell you something. You need to read the book. I'm not telling you you should be a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim, but you need to read the Bible. Read the book to talk about a deity. To talk about a God that's personal to you. They use the word Him. They're talking about God. You can water this down any way you want. I'll tell you what. Why don't you do it this way? Say, at least be truthful. Say, I know that's what they're talking about in the book, but I ain't going to do it. Just be honest. Say, yeah, you know, Russell is right. I've read it. That's what he's talking about. It's obviously like a Christian God or a Judeo-Christian or some sort of God or thing or an it or something or some being, a creator or something. That's who they obviously talk about. Something that has all power. I mean, it's obviously what they talk about, but I'm not going to it. Then at least we can have an honest conversation. Okay, you're not going do it, let's see how your thing works out. and if 10 years from now you haven't drank and you're happy and you've seen life in technicolor and you'll be able to talk like this I'll say you know that thing works out too and if it's not happening for you then maybe you'll say well maybe my thing didn't work out maybe I should have done it their way but don't muddle it to say well that's what the program is because that just confuses things my friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my creator that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Man, how would you like to have this? The elements of way of life that answered all your problems. Belief in the power of God. They could have said higher power. They could've said the great nimbus tree. They said belief in the... And they knew when they said God. They say later on, they say when we say the word God we know it pisses off our thoughts. So we know what bothers you. Belief and the power of God plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things were the essential elements. They're essential. They're not optional. It's not like extracurricular. We had found much of heaven and we had been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence which we had not even dreamed. The great fact is just this and nothing less. The great factor is just that it's just this and nothing else. Listen, it's justice and nothing last. That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude towards life, towards our fellows and towards God's universe. The central fact of our lives today, no, it's not your boyfriend or girlfriend. It's not you're romantic entanglements. It's now your money or your job. It's all the other stuff you talk about at meetings. The central factor of our life today is the absolute certainty that our Creator, with a capital C, God again, has entered into our hearts and lives which is in a way, which is, lives in a ways which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. That's the central fact of the AA rocketed into the fourth dimension program and a young man walks out of the AI meeting and looks me in the eye and says, they say you talk too much about God. They say you talked too much about the thing that's supposed to be the central fat of our lives. And you wonder why people drink. You wonder why people drink. We in our turn sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy read has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us, or if you prefer, a design for living that really works. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, if what we have learned if this book means anything if it means anything at all it means that all of us whatever our race, creed or color are the children of a living creator I don't know any doorknobs that are alive with whom we may form a relationship you know what a relationship is you have a relationship with somebody when you have relations with somebody you like talk to them they talk to you You think about them. They think about you. You have communion with them. You try to please them. They try to help you. You know, it's like a relationship with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try it. So I guess this has to do with our being willing and our being honest about the whole deal. Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered. These are followed by 42 personal experiences. Each individual, each person in AA, each person who wrote down their story in this program, each person whose trying to share with you what's important here in the personal stories describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God. I mean, do you get a feeling there's like a pattern here? Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. There may be people in here, and I understand that, that don't like what I'm saying. Well, forget about what I'M saying, what I' m reading. Here's what the big book says about that. Don't get angry at me, I'm just reporting. I didn't make this stuff up. These ain't my rules. Hey, my rules would say, hey, get all the money, the gals, and just have a good time, you know what I mean? hey my rules i didn't invent this thing here's what it says many of us have been so touchy that even casual references spiritual things made us personal antagonism This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Get rid of it. I like this one. Maybe I should, you know, maybe when I walk out of here as I'm riding home, I should say, well maybe I was talking a little bit too much about God. Maybe I ought to sort of like tone it down. You know what I mean? Page 68. Water it down a little. A little bit. You know? Don't be so tough on me. We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality is a way of weakness. Paradoxically, it's a way of strength. The verdict of the ages is faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead, we let him demonstrate to us what he can do. We ask him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what he would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. We commence to... You know, 99% of the stuff I hear in AA meetings, that is bad. 99% percent of the time, and I really want to say 100%, but I'm leaving that 1% open, that I'm dealing with anybody in Alcoholics Anonymous, including myself, that's going through a hard time. Deep down behind the whole thing is fear. Stark, raving fear. And in our book, in Alcoholics Anonymous says as soon as we start depending upon God we lay it all on God, we commence to outgrow fear. And in Our Book, we have a design for living where you can live next to a fearless life you'll still have fear, you'll have problems where you could outgrow your fear but we don't want anybody talking about it. we talk badly behind people's back of people that mention this stuff. Our description, now one of the things I'm going to do and I want you to understand this is I understand we got people here with two weeks and two days and five months and five years and I got 27 years and that's not bragging that's just reporting that's what I got and trust me I didn't talk like this or anything close to this with like 27 months or, you know, 10 years or even 14 or 15 years. And I've grown into this craziness, you know? No, really, I have, you know? But listen to me. I'm not complaining because it hasn't worked any deleterious effects on my life. My life has gotten better and better and better and better. You understand what I'm saying? Or else, you know, but here's the deal. I can't, you have to understand something. I would like to be able to talk to you like I have three months. I'd like to be able to talk to you like I have five years, or like I can't talk to you from a place where I'm not. I can only honestly, especially when I don't prepare, you know what I mean? Especially when I have no notes, you know, so I can Only, I can phony up and make believe that I don't believe in God. I can't phony up and made believe that I don' t read the Bible. I ca n't phoney up and make believe they don't feel like having abiding personal relationship with God that I think about it. I c an't make believe th at that isn't true about me because it may bother you. You understand? I've got to tell you what's going on with me and leave it up to you what to do with it. At least I have the guts to say it. You can walk through the door and say, I think that guy is totally full of crap, and that's fine because it doesn't affect my life at all. But at least I can walk out and say listen, I tried to carry the message to the best of my ability, the message in the book of my own spirituality and my own personal relationship with God and how I acquired it. That's the only thing I can do. If you're not doing that because you're scared of what's gone on with the group, that's your problem. That's a problem you have. And I feel sorry for you. Not only do I feel sorry for your doctor, but I feel sorry for his story says if you don't believe this stuff we're talking about or of any type of intellectual product keeps you from this day, I feel sorry for you. Your heavenly father will never let you down. All the people that came before me that were rocking in the fourth dimension of existence feel sorry for you. Do you need to be to believe in God in order to be a member of a no. You know, the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. Did you know that? You can come in here and be an atheist, and you're a member of AA. That's the only required for membership. That's not the requirement for sobriety. That's NOT the only requirements for sobrietty. That's NOT the requirement of being amongst the fellowship of the Spirit. That's Not the requirement to live in a life where it talks about a new freedom and a new happiness. That's not a requirement for living a life where you feel justified and good in yourself and you can wear life like a loose garment and feel like you're a man or a woman. You can look life straight in the eye and you deal with anything. That only gets you into the arena. That's going to get you on the playing field and it's not going to give you the touchdown. It's not gonna get you to the goal. And there's a lot of people that are members of Alcoholics Anonymous that slip and slide and never get this thing and believe me, You just don't want to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. You want to be on the rocket ship with the rest of us. Or maybe not. Or maybe not. Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter of the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas. Here's the three pertinent idea. I'm going to do this in ten minutes. No, no. Here is the deal. Here is the deal! Here is the deal? I don't know what you think the third step is. I don't know what you think the third step is. Let me tell you what the book says it is. How about that? Why don't we go with what the books... Let's forget about what you thing it is, let's talk about what the Book says it Is. Because if you understand the third Step the way I understand the Third Step, what the Books says it IS, then we're not going to have any problems. We're all going to be on the rocket ship ride. And if you don't see it that way, you might want to ask yourself, What's bothering me? What's holding me back? Number one, our personal inventions. Here's the three pertinent ideas that make clear. And I want to tell you something. after I read this, you know what the next line is? The next line is, and this is read at every single meeting. Now most people are thinking about their girlfriend or boyfriend while it's reading. Most people are saying when do we get through this? Most people think about other things but it's read at everything. Now what's not read is the next one after the A, B's and C's. It says being convinced of these three, being convinced of these, you know what that means? That means you can't argue with me on this. I mean, you can, but you want to know something? We're not going to have an argument because... Because I don't have time. I don' t have time! I don''t have time!! You know, if you say, ''Well, I want to take an argument.'' I say, you don't need to argue with me. I'll meet you back in 10 years and we'll talk about it then. You know what I mean? I mean because if you're not convinced, I'm not going convince you. You know? You know I'm going to say, If you say I'm convinced, I'm gonna say, You know something, You win. And I'm gong to walk away. I prefer to talk to an alcoholic from a point of humility. I prefer to talk you when you've lost a wife and lost a husband and lost the bar degree, your degree as a lawyer, or lost everything, lost your house, lost your car, lost everything. I prefer talking to you when I say, I've lost it all, I'll do anything. Then you and I can have a discussion. I don't want to talk while you still have your house your fancy money, your Rolex and the whole bit and you're going to argue with me a point that's already in the big book Which if you're in here and you're a member You're supposed to agree And it says you're supposed To be convinced of I'm not going to argue the big book In here Because if you are a member Of Outlaw Synonymous The one thing which is clear Is we all agree on this book So I'm no going to Argue with you Whether we should use this book Or believe this book You understand what I'm saying If you don't believe this Book then join another fellowship Or get involved in something else Or let's just agree That we disagree And we'll meet back here In five years So I am just talking To the people that really Want to do this thing This thing is laid out in the book. Not the thing that was laid out at South Miami Hospital, or Hazelden, or some other place somewhere. But in this book, it says, here's the first, here' s the A. One, that we're alcoholics and cannot manage our own lives. Which means you can't manage your own life. Okay, now let me explain to you. Now what does that mean? Let me tell you what this means. Now, this is scary. This is scary You're not going to believe what I'm about to say I know you're not going to Believe this But trust me, if you believe this It cuts out a lot of thinking You know most of the Stuff you're thinking about You know 89% of the stuff you're Thinking about every day Do I go here? Do I do there? How do I do that? All your thoughts You're Not supposed to be thinking them. You know why? Because they're all about managing your life, and you can't do it. Now I know you think that's crazy, but I need to tell you something. I know you're not going to believe this. I'm not saying I do that all the time. I am not saying I do it 80% of the time, but the more faith I have in God, the less thinking I have about where am I going to go, what I'm going to do, who am I hanging out with, how am I handling it. I mean my thinking, it's like I don't know whether anybody has a gas stove. You see a gas stove, you can turn it all the way high and the flames go real high or you turn it down to a simmer. My thinking is most of the time it's like at simmer range. And I find my life works real great without any thought whatsoever. Most of the stuff that I'm really involved in, like going to the bathroom, eating and sleeping, I do without thinking. You know, I'm tired, I go to sleep. I don'T even think. You KNOW, some of this is true. I wake up, some of you guys get my emails. I'm up at 2 o'clock in the morning. I don't even think about, hey, I'm up at two o' clock in the morning. What am I going to do? Here's what I think. I used to think when I was five years sober, it's two o´clock in the morning, but I'm going to do it. I'm not going to worry about that stuff. You know what my thinking is now? I'm off at two in the morning. I don´t even think about it. I said, well, I´m up. I´M TIRED AT SEVEN O´CLOCK IN THE MORNING. YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY? I´'M TIREED. I GO TO SLEEP. You know, I don't say things like, I should have lunch, you know? If I'm not hungry, I say, well, I guess I didn't eat. You know what I mean? I don' t worry about 90% of the stuff I used to worry because I' m not involved in managing stuff. I just do what's put in front. I do my deal. I can' t explain it to you. I mean, you now, if you' re not there, it' s about not managing your own life. Number B, that no human power could relieve my alcoholism. You know there' s a lot of people and A meetings that are talking or thinking I'm dealing with a whole bunch of them today, these co-defendants, about people. Other people in their lives. They got problems with other people. They got like real problems with other people! I mean other people are just like on their mind. You know? They are just worried about stuff that is none of their business, means absolutely nothing because they are somehow convinced that if they had this person or didn't have this person who did this or did that or something. Somehow that would make a difference somewhere, you know? If I could only be married, if I could Only Be Single, if I Could Only Be This, and you know what the big book tells me? It says that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism, that that's not going to do it for you. Now, you don't have to believe me because it is in me. This is the rules. And not only is it the rules, it says you've got to be convinced of this. And then it says this, see, that God could and would if he were sought. You know what it says? It say God will do it. Seek God. Seek God. And them it says being convinced You are now being convinced that if you seek God, it'll solve everything. That's it. And then they come up with this line. Here's step three. And here's step two. Now I want you to listen to step three, where is it on the board? Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God's care, to care of God as we understood him, to the care of god. Made a decission to turn all lives over him. Now, I jokingly say this stuff, but I mean think about it. What is your will? Your will is what you want to do. It's what you want to be. It's something you want to do, you know? You know why there's people not at AA meetings tonight? You know why? Alcoholics who are not at AMEs, you know why? Because they want to do something else. You know why people don't go to AA meetings? Because they want to do something else. You know why people don't get sponsors? Because they want to do something else. You know why people don't read the big book? Because they want to read something else. You know why people don't hang around people that are interested in, you know, maybe talking about God because they want to talk about something else. Because they're following their will. You know what this says? You turn your will over to Him. Now of course if you don't have a Him, if you doesn't have Him listening, if you didn't have an Him or even looking for Him, that's going to be a tough thing to do, isn't it? So you might as well keep it for yourself. Then you can make all the decisions and you can run your life the way you used to run your life. That's going ot be a tuff deal, you kno? And so that's your will. So whatever is left over, I guess that's your life. That's the rest of the deal. So let me ask you this question. Let me ask you, I'm just going to ask you a question now you can think about it. Because a lot of you are trying to feel, think about so what does this mean? What's the implication of this? If you could have a person and I'm not saying I'm that guy or anybody's that guy, but if you could have aperson who was able to turn his entire will and his life over to the care of God just was able to lay that whole sucker out 24-7 in God's hand, turn it all over to him. What would that person look like? Well, let me ask you this. What would he be talking about? What would be his... You know, if you went up to him and wanted to strike a conversation, what do you think would be the main thing he would want to talk about? You know? If you went after that guy and you had a problem and you wanted him to solve your problem or made some suggestion, what do YOU think he would end up suggesting? if a guy was talking to Amy you know to share about his experience strength or hope let's talk about his life what do you think he would end up talking about if a man if a God was alone in his car just driving you know and had nothing better to think about what do You think He'd be thinking about as a matter of fact what do YOU think He'd been thinking about even if He had something better to be thinking about if He turned His will and His life over to care for God how much of a person's life would be taken up His thought life everything about Him would be taken up focusing on God and what He could do for God and what God's all about and how he could seek God if he was able to turn his will and his life over to the care of God to do the third step. What does the implication of the third set mean? And later on, right after the third stem, it says, if we sincerely took that position, this is out in the book, all sorts of remarkable things happen. You know what it says in the big book? It says if you can do that, unbelievable things happen to you. Unbelievable things not happening to you yet? Maybe you're not doing that. Maybe it's not the program that's falling down in the job. It says, being all powerful, he's going to give you everything you need if you stay close to him and do his work well. Maybe you're not close to Him. Maybe you don't even think about Him. Maybe you are worried about the Super Bowl or the Giants or the Patriots or other stuff. Maybe you aren't doing His will. Maybe you do what you want to do. It talks about fear vanishing, losing fear of today, tomorrow, the day after we are reborn. I mean, how many people here are really doing the third step or just giving it lip service? Just saying, oh, I did the third step. I'm now on step four. How many people are really doing what this thing is talking about? You ever read Bill Wilson's story? You ever, you ever read and listen to the way he talked? The way this guy talked. He'd meet people that he was sponsoring or something. He'd say, the Lord has been so good at me curing me of this type of disease that I got to keep on talking about it. He was, the thing was, he was like obsessed. It was on his mind all the time. Most people in AA, what's on their mind is my girlfriend or my boyfriend or my job. You know? And if somebody talks about the Lord being on my mind or God being great, some other guy says, we don't talk about that stuff in AA. And that's all that AA's about. And people are wondering why people are drinking in here. People worry about people aren't experiencing incredible life in here because just because you said you'd do the third step, oh I did that step, doesn't mean you're doing it. And even if you didn't, even if you get down and you see that it doesn't mean you're involved in it. I'm not going to go into this because we're closing up and I'm already five minutes over, but there's some great stories. One day I'll talk about it. There's a great story in the Bible about the sower of the seeds. Some people get this thing and really latch onto that sucker. And some people get it and the next thing you know, they're thinking about the widescreen TV. It's just snatched away. You know what I mean? But you look at the people who take this baby and run with it. You look at what happens to the people that take this baby and run with it and you look at the people, when you see people who have 5, 10, 15 years, they're slipping and sliding, they've got a bad attitude they're gossiping about people behind other people's back they're saying bad things about people or cutting people down or they're doing stuff and you say man that doesn't sound, you look to those people and you see how much of their deal is about God and how much they are focused on this, how much they're focused on other things. You see the fruits of what happens, how a person acts when he's focused on him You know, it says he will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. He's going to show you how to hang around with him. See to it your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass for you in countless days. You see how a person acts, how aperson feels, what a person's life is about, who that person is, whether you'd want to hang out with them, how he feels about life, who's focused on this deal. And you see what aperson is like who is not focused on what they're actually talking about in this book and you tell me whether AA works. You tell me whether AA works, and then you think about this. Am I doing this deal? Am I really doing this detail? Or am I just sort of showing up at AA meetings, just to sort of show up, but I'm not really interested in doing this thing? And at least that's honest, because I've done that. Everybody's shown up until something happens or something changes. I mean, I was five years doing this things by the numbers until my sponsor said, hey, you know, you go to meetings, you feel good. You don't go to a meeting, you don't feel so good. One day I'll tell you about the time, and I'm not going to tell you tonight, I'll tell you next week maybe if you remind me, when I said I don't think this thing is working for my sponsor. I said, well, I don' t think it's working for me. You know, I'm doing everything and it's not working. Next week somebody reminds me, I' ll tell you what he said to me. It' s cute. You know? Thank you very much. Thank you.