The Difference Between an Apology and an Amend – Paul F.

About This Speaker Tape

A Taco Bell, a handful of stolen cash, and a manager who can't believe a thief would actually return the money. Paul F. doesn't mosey into sobriety; he wants to be "rocketed" into the fourth dimension. He strips away the Hallmark gloss, treating the Big Book as a manual for dismantling a wrecked life. To Paul, an apology is a cheap substitute for an amend. He describes the process of "sweeping off his side of the street," admitting that he once tried to manipulate his wife into an apology by offering a "poetic" amend first—a move that only earned him a lesson in dishonest motives.

From paying back old debts in secret to facing the arrogance that makes him "the joke," Paul emphasizes that withholding a single secret blocks the path to a Higher Power. For him, the steps are a paradox: he doesn't work on his defects, because working on them only embellishes them. He simply does the work and leaves the wreckage to be cleared.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening prayer and Serenity Prayer.
• 4:15 Paul F. explains the concept of being 'rocketed' into the fourth dimension.
• 12:30 Discussion on the Fifth Step promises and the danger of withholding information.
• 22:10 Step 7 prayer recited collectively by the group.
• 31:45 Laughter: Paul F. recounts an amend to an arrogant peer who enjoyed seeing him grovel.
• 42:10 The Taco Bell story: Paul F. describes returning money after an armed robbery.
• 55:20 The 'secret' restitution: Paying back stolen funds via the meeting basket for five years.
• 1:05:15 Instruction on the 'proper' way to make an amend versus the 'excuse-filled' way.
• 1:18:40 Introduction to the Oxford Group's four absolutes and daily written meditation.
• 1:32:10 Closing remarks and the Lord's Prayer; Applause.