The Detox Center That Dried Them Out Just to Get Them Healthy Enough to Drink – Mike B.

How y'all doing? She was good to see y' all. I didn't expect this many people to come out on a rainy night. Gina and I were talking earlier today, it seems like it can be beautiful, motorcycle riding weather, and then you let us bring in a speaker. It never rained every time. My name is Larry Scott and I am an alcoholic. And I'm free tonight. My sobriety date is December 31st, 1987. Yeah, whatever. See? I guarantee you, you let Gene Russell come up behind here and it'd be all kind of racket. And we're not going there tonight. Guys, we're in for a treat. Back a year or so ago, Theron and I were on a trip somewhere, one of our road trips. And Theron et al., we've got a weird car etiquette. We never listen to music. We talk from time to time, but we may ride for two or three hours and never say a word. and all of a sudden in the stillness theron reaches over and pops in a cd and this fellow with a very southern accent and a drawl came on and i went what in the world is this and somewhere during the early portion of this talk he reared back and set the hook on me And I thought to myself, my God, this guy is sharing exactly what we do. And he's doing it in the purest form and did it in a fashion that I thought, we're not a grum lot that's going to have some more of this. And we called Mike and it just so happened that he was able to cut out about three months of his life and visit Atlanta because when we get a hold of a speaker in this town, we run him around for a few days. but I'm not going to go into a lot of flowery detail I just ask that you give him your attention because I have a strong suspicion you're going to hear the truth as it's written in our basic text tonight meet my friend Mike Burns I'm an alcoholic. My name is Mike Burns. That's about the partiest bunch of sick people I've ever seen right there. It is. It's good to be here, and man, I'd love to thank Larry, Thank Atlanta, the surrounding area around here that's going to let me participate in some meetings over the next few days. And my wife's coming down tomorrow night late and she's going be over at the Fit Tradition Group. And if anybody goes to the Marietta Roundup, she talked there last year, Kathy. And I'll tell you, if you don't know what a redneck woman looks like, come over to Fit Tradition Group. I love them crazy women, man, I'm going to tell you. And she's an ex-crazy woman. She's so renowned. But I'm gonna tell you how redneck she is, y'all. These britches I got on, we was up at Blackstone, Virginia, and I said, man, the hem done come out my britchies. She whipped out some duct tape and hid my britches. They still duct tape, same tape. Come home from work one time, she said, Mike, I got our birthday presents. I said, both of them? We're a month apart in our age. And I said well what did you get us? She got his and her chainsaws. We can get out there and put our snake boots on Get on the side of the mountain out there And cut up some firewood So I got a friend over here From up around Cali, Texas His grand sponsor A guy named Joe out in Oklahoma And I've been out there a few times Every time I go out there Joe takes me skeet shooting And I remember the first time I went skeet shootin' with him I've never went and shot at some little thing flying through there, you know. Got out there, and I was using a 12-gauge pump shotgun to skeet shoot. And they had these high dollar rifles where, I mean, they had shocks on them where you don't even feel it, you understand? And they'd shoot them out of the air, you Know, and got in my turn. I said, pull! And I pumped that thing and shot and missed it. And another one come out, and shot, missed it, And he looked at me, and I said, Joe, I'm not shooting stuff like that. I'm used to shooting from my hip. And he said, boy, we ain't robbing a bank. I called Kathy and told her about it, got home. And we had went Christmas shopping, and for Christmas we bought his and her 12-gauge pump shotguns. And she went to Walmart and bought her one of them skeet shooters, mounted it on the back deck, and we just walk out the door and say, Poo! You know? And I'm going to tell you, that woman gets turned on shooting a shotgun. I'm telling you. So if you ain't got a redneck woman, I'm sorry for you. Need to get you one. But it is. It's good to be here and be sober. I have a home group and actually, I got sober in Charlotte, North Carolina, but I moved up to western North Carolina up in the Blue Ridge Mountains about seven years ago. And my home group is called the Big Town Group, and we meet in a small town of Etowah, North Caroline. If you're not familiar with that, that's in between Horseshoe and Penrose. and we moved up there and I love that what y'all read because where I was going to meetings around that area, both of us, it didn't feel like Alcoholics Anonymous that I grew up in. And I know everybody feels that same way about when they move away. Wherever you go, it's different. It's not the same as where you got sober. But we would go into some meetings, and there was nothing familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous. And it was sad. And the first meeting I was telling Larry at dinner, by the way, thank you for dinner. That was awesome. And the First Meeting me and Kathy went into was a closed AA meeting, and some woman slipped on Little Debbie snack cakes. And all the drunks were going to tell her how not to slip on Little Debbies. And I'm like, is this AA? And then you would go to a meeting, and it would be an awesome meeting. And they'd be talking about God and steps. And then he'd go back to the same meeting the next night, and it could just get nasty and unfamiliar. And so there wasn't any consistency there. And about a year later, Kathy was talking with Tom I. And Tom told her, said, well, you know, in a vision for you, the last paragraph it talks about you can create the fellowship you crave. And I'm pretty sure that's probably what y'all did here. You created the fellowship we crave. And so three of us got together up on the deck and we put together a format and guidelines and we started a closed big book study group. And we decided that the chairperson would be the only one who reads. And it was the chairpersons' responsibility to look up the history behind what he reads out of conference-approved literature and bring that to the group. And it started turning people on, because when you start telling those old funny stories in our history, we're talking about traditions. And a lot of people don't even know it, but that's what it is. That's where our traditions come out of, all those mistakes. And so it started growing, you know. And a year later we started an open speaker meeting on Friday night. A year after that we started a closed-step literature study. And I like to say my home group is in a small town of Etowah, population about 49. We've got 48 home group members. But when we started that group The drunk started coming out of the hills You know And it was like Somebody said Did you hear about that big town group Oh you don't want to go down there And then they come down there And they join the group that night And it's been absolutely incredible To see it grow And the lines of sponsorship Going through that meeting You know And the respect that we get in that meeting is incredible. Because, man, today, and I get to go to meetings all over the place, and it just seems like there's a huge disrespect in Alcoholics Anonymous with the language. My sponsor told me, he said, Mike, when you get up behind the podium, you dress. You show respect to the program that saved your life. And he would say, you clean up your mouth. You're not in a ballroom anymore. And I understood that, you know. And they taught us about if you're going to drink more than one cup of coffee during a meeting, get two and go sit down. Don't get up and go distract the meeting. You know, and go use the bathroom before you sit. All these things that they taught me and they taught them to us, you know, and you know, I'm grateful that I came into that and I learned that stuff, you know because I remember I'd take a meeting into a jail every Monday night and I had for about six and a half years and I can get in there and there could be 35 inmates in the meeting in this little mountain jail up in Brevard, North Carolina. And a lot of them just get out of their cells to come in the room and chatter with their friends. And I had this guy reading how it works in there. And he was struggling trying to read this. And there's some people in there that are desperate. You can see it in their eyes. And there was a couple of guys over here chattering So after this guy got done I picked it up and I walked over And I handed it to this guy And I said now you read it Because I didn't get to hear all of it And I'm sure these guys didn't Get to hear it And they needed to hear And after the meeting This guy, this inmate Came over and thanked me For doing that And he comes in there every week now And he sits over there And he's quiet And he pays attention You know And that's what it takes sometimes I'm grateful that the people Where I came in In Charlotte, North Carolina And they cared more about saving my life than hurting my feelings. You know, they taught me how to act, you know. And I'm grateful for that because I didn't know how to react when I got here. And so, you now, thank God for these people. And I've had some great people. If you ever hear any speakers across the country from North Carolina, I've sat in their home groups, you kno. And so I've heard some really good teachers in Alcoholics Anonymous. And people that I inspire to live, you know, to be like when I grow up, you know. And I was talking to Tom the other day and he said, you already have, Mike. And, you know, I'll tell you, that's one of my favorite people in this program. And I just look up to these guys, man. I just, they inspire me to be better. And that's all I can say about that. But I was born in Charlotte, North Carolina back in 1963. Born into a good family. My dad left my mama when she was pregnant with me and she had two girls and a boy and I was on the way. And so she was a nurse and she couldn't work, you know, and so my grandparents took us in their home. And they added on to the house to make it more comfortable for the kids. And my grandparents were real active in a Lutheran church and they made sure that all the kids went to church. And so that's the way I grew up in that home, you know, going to church and learning principles to live by. Learning values. Learning to respect my fellow man. To treat people like I would like to be treated, you now. They taught me all that stuff. They taught about being responsible, you kno. All these things that they're supposed to teach us. And as a small kid, I was scared to death of people. If you weren't in my family, I wasn't afraid of you. And even going in this church as a kid. A place where you're supposed feel safe, you kow. And I didn't feel safe in this church. And I was scared. And so I didn' t get what they were trying to give me in this church, you know. So I remember I started going to school and I didn''t like going to school from the start. I remember in first grade I was afraid to death going into this first grade class. And they set me at this table with four people, you know, and two guys across from me. And I don' t know what happened, but I just spit on the guy in front of them and they put me out in the hallway well i like being by myself so i found out how to get put out in a hallway right so i just stayed in trouble and um but i did i made good grades up until the fifth grade and i started drinking when i was 12 and uh first time i got drunk i was camping out in my backyard with some friends and uh their older brothers having a keg party and they were bringing liquor out in their backyard where we were and we'd take a drink of that liquor and chase it with some draft beer and throw up. We'd take another drink and throw it up and take another drink, and I seen them guys holding it down, and I knew I needed to hold it down. I wanted to fit in with them guys, you know. And I finally held it down and I'll tell you, that night I felt the effects produced by alcohol. Alcohol did something for me that night that nothing has ever done. It gave me power. It took the fear away from me. It made me feel just as good as them guys. I grew up, I didn't have any self-esteem. I didn' t have any self-confidence, you know. And that's what it gave me. It gave me self- esteem. It gave my confidence. I tell them guys in that jail cell, when I drank alcohol, it gave my power. I could go places I normally can't go. I can do things I normally ca n't do and I can be around people I normally c an't be around. And if it makes you feel like that, why wouldn't you drink it? I drank that stuff every chance I got. By the time I was 15, I was drinking every day. I'm kind of like the guy in the chapter to the agnostics where it talks about, you know, when I started drinking, I started neatly evading God. By the time I was 15, I drank every day. I entirely ignored God. I started living on self-will. I started leaving on my own principles. And then I started surviving more or less. You know, I didn't like living by anybody's rules. And that included my own family's rules and errors for a long time. I didn't see family members because I know today I didnít go around my family when I was drinking or out there because I didnít want them to see me in the condition I got myself into. And so I was that guy drinking every day. I was a blackout drinker. Iíd come to places I never dreamed Iíd become to. Fifteen years old, I went to a New Yearís Eve party in Charlotte, North Carolina. I came to in Daytona Beach, Florida. I donít know how I got there. I'm on the streets for three weeks, and I ended up getting locked up my first time in Lakeland, Florida. They sent me back to Charlotte on probation. My mama told me I needed to turn myself in. I said, for what? And me and a buddy of mine had robbed some little old lady in a neighborhood park, and I don't remember doing that. So there early on in my drinking, they should have told me, man, I ought not drink. I'd get in bad trouble when I drank. But it didn't matter. I found out early on I don'T care about the consequences because of what alcohol does for me. You know, like I said, I come to them from crazy places. I come too one time going through a field 70 miles an hour. I went to turn the wheel to get back on the highway and I rode that thing down the side of the highway. Left it laying there for dead and took off to Myrtle Beach. I left more than one vehicle for dead on the side road, you know. Came to one time I was on a horse. I was chasing this beautiful blonde and when I finally caught her it was my sister. I was like, damn. She bailed me out of some problems. She was trying to slow me up horseback riding before she took me home. So I was doing things, you know, that I would have told me I would not drink early. But it didn't hold me back none, you now. And I just, I went on, you kno, and I went through school. And I hated going to school. And I'll tell you, through junior high school, I made D's and S's every year. They passed me every year. And I don't know if it was because of a group of guys I hung around with in that school, but they wanted to get rid of us, so they passed us on out of there. They sent me to the 10th grade. The only thing I can tell you about the 10TH grade is it was the funnest three years of my life. I'd show up in the front door and we'd all head out the back. We'd go out drinking. And, you know, I'd sneak out of my mama's house at night, run the streets of Charlotte, and I'd always get back before daybreak. You know, and I wasn't living by anybody's rules but mine. And I was getting in trouble with the family. You know, I was in and out of jails. I found out real early when I go to jail, don't call home. You know? I found about bondsmen. And I found that bondsmen won't come down to the jailhouse 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning on a little $100 misdemeanor charge. So I found real quick if you cuss out the magistrate, they'll jack your bond up and then your bondsman will come down there and get you out. See, I'm learning all this stuff as I go along, you know? And so I was in and out of jail until I got sober, until I Got to Alcoholics Anonymous. I remember I got my driver's license for the first time when I was 21 years old. And I wanted to find a job where I could drive one of their vehicles because all my money went on drinking. And so, I found a job installing cable TV for a contracting company in Charlotte and they gave me a big van to work out of. Gave me a gas card where I can put all the gas I wanted in it. And whenever I didn't feel comfortable staying somewhere, I'd move on. And I had been back to my mama's house and I didn' t like living by her rules. So I moved in this van. Packed my clothes up and moved in the cable vision van. And I'm parking on dead end roads. There was a creek bank down at the bottom of the neighborhood where I grew up at. And I'd drive that van down through the woods and down on the creek bank where all the drums hung out. And, man, we'd stay down on that creek bank for days drinking. And I remember one night we were down there drinking And some girl come up, and I hadn't seen this girl since I was about seven years old. She went to that church I went to when I was a kid. She didn't like where she was living, so I let her move in with me. And so we're living in the cable vision van. My best friend's 23 years old, and his daddy won't let him in his house, but he'll let him sleep out in the backyard in a 56 Chevrolet station wagon on blocks. And his daddy let him have a drop cord to hook power up out there. So he got him one of them strip plugs. You can hook six different appliances up to it. Had a little heater for the winter, fan for the summer, a little color TV stereo out there. And his girlfriend moved in with him, you know. They lived out there for about three years in the station wagon. And so, you now, doing the work I did, I hooked his HBO cinema max up out there, so good fight. Come on HBO, we'd go over to their house. And so me and my girl were riding around drinking, you know, a good fight. Come on, HBO, we'd go over to their house and take a fifth of liquor with us. We'd get in there drinking, and I don't know about y'all, two couples drinking in tight quarters like that, things happen. We ended up rolling out the back door fighting in the yard, you Know, and finally his daddy got tired of it and run us all off. And being the good friend I was, I let them move in with us So we've got two couples living in the cable vision van. And we're hanging out on the Catawba River down there outside of Charlotte. I don't know if anybody's familiar with Charlotte, but out Highway 16 out on The River, there was a basketball called Hubie's Bubble Up. And that's where we'd go out there and drink. You know, they'd have live bands out there on the water and all. But we'd camp out down there a lot, you know. And I'd always come to at daybreak and make it to work the next day on time. And I got that guy a job with me so we could drop them off and pick them up in the evenings. And we was out there at that trailer park out by Hubie's, and one of them guys I worked with said, Mike, my boy ain't never been into a bar. He said, take him. I said, all right. I took his son down to Charlotte. He was 15, and I got me a fifth of George Dipper White Label, got him a 12-pack of beer, and I'm chasing my liquor with his beer, and we're hitting all these bars up Central Avenue in Charlotte. And we cut across Kilbourne Road, and I told that boy to grab a steering wheel so I could take a drink, and he did. And about the time I took that drink, blue lights come on. And I pulled over and the cop come up to my window. I looked at the cop and I said, was I speeding? He said, no, you crossed that center line back there. Well, I just leaned back and said, well, you don't talk to this boy over here. He was staring. And I still say they locked up the wrong guy, right? They didn't give me no roadside test. They pulled me out by the hair of the head and locked me up. Impounded our home, you know. But like I said, I've been in jail so much in Charlotte that I had a bondsman that would get me out on credit and meet me at the bank on Fridays. Called Blue down there. He got me out, and I walked the streets of Charlotte, and I found out where my van was down at Hunter Record Company down on Davidson Street. I went over there, and I begged these people to give that van back to me, and they did. I went to work the next day. The following weekend, the next weekend, I got another DWI down in Lincoln in North Carolina and pounded our home again. and the girl who lived with me, my sister got mad at that one and put her house up to get me out of jail. And a couple weeks after that we got a law school charge in that van. Now you can't run from the Mecklenburg County Police at 3 o'clock in the morning in a Cablevision van. No catch. Just good information for y'all if you ever get in that position. And so it just kept getting worse and worse so I went there and threw the keys on the desk told them I quit and they said why are you quitting? I said man it costs too much money to work for you people. And I quit. Find out when you don't have a car or a job, your girlfriend will leave you and she left. And I just went out on the streets of Charlotte and hung out on that creek bank days at a time. I'd get in these ballrooms and I always worked doing some kind of talking to work. I always had a job. They never lasted long, but I worked. And so I'd go to these ballroom and I'd set up some people with some beers and I would say, let's get a half a gallon of liquor and go to your house. and I'd get in your house, you know, and I would stay as long as I could stay. Sometimes it might be a week or two or three or a month, you know? And then they'd kick me out and I'll go to the bar and I set up some people and let's go get a half gallon of liquor and go to your house and I get in the house. And I used people like that for a long time, you now. I was in a bar one night and this girl came in and said, ain't you Bobby's brother? And I said, yeah. I hadn't seen my brother in about five years but she took me over into North Charlotte which was pretty rough back then. We pulled up in this driveway, and there's 30 Harley-Davidson motorcycles out in that yard. We went inside that house, and them barkers in there had guns strapped on their side. They're in there drinking straight liquor out of the bottle and hooting and hollering and having a good time. And I felt comfortable. And I ended up coming to find out my brother was the president of a motorcycle club down here in Charlotte, and that was their club, and I moved in there with him. And I went to work with a couple of them guys doing brick work. And I was mixing mortar and hauling brick for them, and they were laying brick. And that was tough, you know. And we drank around the clock. Whenever he came to, he just started drinking. And I remember we got home from work one day and me and, I think it was Toad and Snape, were sitting there with a half gallon of Jim Beam. Down the hall, the bathroom door opened up and out stepped this beautiful Mic Mac Indian. She had hair down to her belt. I had hair done to my belt. She had more tattoos than I got and that impressed me. I'm covered up in it. We drank that liquor and I blacked out and I don't remember where I had them. But when I came to the next day, that Indian was gone. And I was hoping to meet her, you know. And so about a month later, I was in a bar down on Central Avenue and she came in this bar with this young guy and she said, She came straight over to me. She said, Mike, I'm taking you home with me tonight. I said, alright. I was pretty easy when I was drunk. My wife said, I am still pretty easy. But she took me home with her. Y'all familiar with drunk trailer parks around here? The whole trailer park this day is drunk. She lived in one of them. And we got in the smallest trailer in this place. Man, we walked in the front door and the trailer leaned back. And man, if you went in there drunk, you just went back to the back wall, you know. You just slide down to the bedroom. And we slid back tothe bedroom, got on the stack. We were sitting on the edge of that bed drinking a fifth of Jim Beam right out of the bar. You know, blacked out, passed out, don't know what happened. But when we came to, I thought the wind was going to blow the trailer over. I remember that. And when we came to We walked outside that trailer And there was pine trees laying through trailers And we didn't know what happened We went over and knocked on the neighbor's door To find out what happened Neighbor said Hurricane Hugo hit that night And we Didn't even know it you know And it tore that place up And so being there With a woman of my dreams you know I just never left Moved in with her We couldn't drive out of the trailer park for 11 days But so we drank, you know. And we ended up getting married in a beer joint down in Charleston, South Carolina. Her sister married us. And a lot of people used to say, y'all ain't really married. I knew we were because I had to pay for the divorce. But we drank around the clock, you knows. Both of us in and out of jails. And we was in a bar one night and a fight broke out. And I remember the fight breaking out. And this was kind of bar up on North Trine. When the fight broke out, everybody jumped in. You know, it was just a free-for-all. And I jumped in there. Next thing I know, I came to him in jail. And I didn't know why. And I had some papers in my pocket. And I pulled the papers out and read the papers. The papers said I hit a woman in this ballroom. And so I got blue down there. He got me out that day on credit. And I went home. And me and that Indian lived in a little efficiency apartment. And it looked like a broom closet almost. It was one door in and one door out, you know. And I went home, and I walked in the door, and all her stuff was gone. There were two boxes sitting by the front door. And I started drinking. And it wasn't long after that, she came in that door with one of her friends, and I saw who I hid in that ballroom, and I put 15 stitches in my wife's head. And I don't remember doing that. And that hurt me when I saw that, you Know. And she got her stuff and got out of there, and I got evicted out of this place, and I went back to the streets of Charlotte. And I walked the streets at night. And all my old drinking buddies that I grew up with, they were telling me, Mike, you need to quit drinking so much liquor. Maybe just drink beer. And I always thought they were worse than I was. They all went to prison. I never went to jail. I jailed well, but I didn't go to prison because I always felt like I was a bad person. I always though they were worst than I am. And they were saying that. And I'd walk the streets thinking about what they were talking about and what happened to my wife. And I was dying inside and didn't even know it, you know. I was tired of living. I didn't know that there was people that lived like that that found a way out through alcoholics and honors. I didn'T know it. I never heard about AA. Never heard of treatment for alcoholism. I knew about the 7th Street Detox. I never went over there, but I'd see them old drunks on the creek bank come off the bank and they'd go up there to detox and they dry them out and get them healthy enough to come back down there and drink. That's the way I saw it. And so I didn't know anything about Alcoholics Anonymous or treatment. And I remember I'd walk the streets and I was dying inside and didn't even know it. And I found her over in North Charlotte and begged and pleaded with her to get back together. She said, Mike, if you move back to your mama's house and quit drinking, we might get back together. That's a last place on earth I want to go back 28 years old, back to mama's house. And I'd walked the streets, and I'd think about that. And my mama always told me I could come home. But like I said, I always thought it was pride, but I know today I didn't want my mama to see me in the condition I'd gotten myself into. And I went back home, and my mama said, yeah, come home, you know. I moved back into my mama's house, and shortly after that we had to go to court, and my wife got there before I did. And she tried to drop the charges, and they wouldn't do it because it was a state against me. And I remember the DA came in and read the charge to the judge, told the judge what happened. And he looked at my wife and said, What do you want to do with? And I thought she was getting ready to get even. And she stood up and she told that judge, She said, Mike's a good man. She said he works hard. He helps his family when they need help, but he's crazy when he drinks. And I drank every day. And he told me to stand up and I stood up. And what I heard that judge say is two years in a penitentiary or AA? Now you ain't got to be the head cashier at Walmart to figure out the better deal, right? I don't know what AA is but I know what jail is and I don' t want to go there. But what he said was two years suspended with two years supervised probation. He said I'm going to send you a place called Alcoholics Noms so those people can help you. And he sent me down the hall to meet with my probation officer. I met the meanest woman I ever met in my life. She said, Mike, when you have an appointment, see me if you're late. I'm going to lock you up. And I'd go early and she'd cuss me out for coming too early. And I was just willing to do anything that woman told me to do because I didn't want to go back to drinking. And I remember I went over to this treatment center. They told me I had to go. And I went all the way to the hospital. I went right over there. And they handed me a notebook like this, it felt like, with 100 questions. And she said, go over there and fill out these questions. and I went over there, and it seemed like it took me forever. And I lied a little bit on that thing. And I went back over there and handed it to her, and I got one of them wrong, and they told me I was an alcoholic. And they said, you need to come into treatment. And I said, no, I need to work. And so they gave me outpatient treatment. So I started going to this outpatient treatment thing. Me and my wife got back together. She took me over to the treatment center and dropped me off for three hours, three days a week. and she'd pick me up and we'd go to the paper doll lounge. And that's what it sounds like. It's a strip club down there in Charlotte. She'd get back there hustling on the pool table drinking straight liquor and I was dying inside. Man, I knew if I kept going to these places I was going to drink again. And I told her I can't go no more. This treatment center took us to our first AA meeting. Thank God that judge knew that this treatment center took us to AA. They took us to our first AA meeting on a Tuesday night, and it was an open speaker meeting. And we walked in this room, and the first two people I see is my junior high school principal sitting beside my Sunday school teacher. And that Sunday school teach's daughter is the one who lived in that van with me, and I was kind of worried about that. And I stood in the doorway of that meeting, and I judged everybody in that room. and I judged them from their outsides. I judged him. I said, man, these people are too pretty. You know, they're all cleaned up, looking good, wearing them skipper flippers and khaki pants and all cleaned up. I'm like, I'm not like these people. And I remember I'd get home from work, and me and my wife both got new jobs. And I'd be getting ready to go to work, And we would just argue the whole time. And she finally come into AA and picked a white chip up, and she didn't go to two or three meetings, and that was it. And we found out something real quick, that we don't like each other when we don' drink. We found that out real quick. We can't stand each other. We can stand each another when we dont drink. And so she'd get cleaned up, and she'd go to work, and I'd be cleaned up sitting there by myself, and I didn't know what you did when you don't drink. I drank every day. What do you do when you dont drink? And I couldn't answer that question. So I'd go to the AA meeting. It's the only place I knew. I'd Go in there and I'd sit with the guys and treat me, you know, we'd sit at the back of the room, make fun of these people in there. And I didn't want to be there. And they'd come up and they'd ask me, here, read something, you know, and I said, I can't read. And I couldn't read that good, but I'd say, no, I can't read, you know, leave me alone. And I wouldn't do anything, you know. After eight months of doing this, you I heard the solution in these meetings. Just don't drink and go to meetings. That's all I needed to do. That's all I need to do, and that's all i did. My life did get better just not drinking and going to meetings, hell it will for anybody. But there will come a time when we don't have a mental defense against that first drink. I didn't know that. I didn' t have a clue about that. And I remember after eight months of not drinking, me and my wife was back together. I got my driver's license back. I went to work for a company who fired me back in the 80s for coming in drunk every day. And I'll tell you, if I could have got a DWI driving a forklift, I'd have gotten more than one in that place. They fired me. They hired me back when I was in treatment. First thing they said, do you still drink? I said, no, I quit. I was like 30 days without a drink. And they hired me bad. And so, you know, I was going to a lot of meetings. I didn't like going. And after eight months, like I said things got better. Got a new job. and me and my wife were back together. I got my license back after six years, bought me a van, started paying some insurance on that van, paying all my bills, you know. Me and my wives started buying some furniture out of the store instead of getting outside the road somewhere. You know, things was looking better. And I was at work one day, and I thought to myself, you ain't had a drink in eight months. You can drink a couple beers, man. It'll be alright. Well, my wife told me if I ever drank again, we'd split up. So I already knew I was going to go drink a few beers. I went home and started arguing with her, patched some clothes up, and left. Went and got a hotel room at the old Charlotte Coliseum Motel. Went over to the grocery store and got me a 12-pack, tucked it under my arm. I was looking for that AA please, you know. Said, I bet you they're in here. I see them everywhere, you now. Made it back safe to the hotel. So I got in there and locked all four locks on the door. Drew the curtains, you know, and I drank three or four of them beers and nothing happened to me. Drank a couple more of them bears and started getting lonely. I don't know about y'all, but when I get a buzz, there's always something better happening across town. And I took off. I tookoff driving across town to my favorite beer joint. Walked in there and I walked in and the bartender was pouring a double-sided tequila. And I remember I got over close to him he started pouring Tabasco sauce in there, and I knew that was my drink. And he said, Mark, where have you been? I said, man, I've been sober in AA for eight months. He said, boy, you need this. And I turned it up and said, give me another one. And I don't remember leaving that ballroom that night, but I came to the next day at 11 o'clock on the bathroom floor of that hotel room, and I was sick as I ever been. And I remember I climbed up on the sink and looked in the mirror, and I hated everything I seen in that mirror. I looked like a wild animal. I didn't like me. I didn' t want to live like that. I came back to AA that night and that was September 17, 1992. By God's grace and you people helping me I hadn' t had a drink since then. I asked my old sponsor Buck I don' t know why I came back to AE that night. He said Mike you go to AA meetings for 8 months Hey, they put a booger on you. And I'm telling you tonight, if you're here tonight and if you plan on drinking some more, you've been boogered up. It ain't no fun no more. We put a big old fat hairy booger in your mouth. I'm just telling you. Oh, man. I came back that night. My wife got drunk that weekend, stayed drunk. I lived in my van for the next two weeks, and I went to work in the day and went to meetings at night. And I met some guys in AA, and they'd let me take a shower at their house, and they told me I'd sleep on their couch, and i'd go sleep in my band. And I'd get up and I'd go to work, and then I'd do it again, you know. For two weeks I did that, and she called me at work, and I was home one more time for the last 11 months. We just argued, man. We could not get along with each other. She quit. She didn't drink no more, but she didn't go back to AA. And we were just miserable, you know. And I was just going to these meetings and I knew the solution this time. Don't pick up the first drink and go to a lot of meetings. That was my solution. And I'll tell you, man, I was dying inside sitting in these rooms. I was miserable. And I remember I was sitting at a group called the Plaza Group. Eleven months without a drink. There was about 75, 80 people in this meeting. And I felt like I was all by myself. and I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life not drinking. I didn't understand one day at a time. I was living the resto of my live. I don't know if I can do that. Thank God I remember the last time I was thinking like that, the way I felt when I came to on that bathroom floor. I knew it was going to be worse than that if I drank again. I don' t want to drink. And like in how it works talks about we stood at the turning point. I really believe there's got to be a time in everybody's life who we come to a point of desperation where we've got to make a decision. The big book of Alcoholics Anonymous pretty much gives us two decisions. Pick up a kit of spiritual tools AA lays at our feet or go on out there and live the way we know how to live. And I don't want to go out there and live like you people are living in here. And I give up. I give ups sitting in the rooms of Alcoholic Anonymous. I surrender. I was going to a lot of meetings. My wife told me she was going drink again, so I left. I packed my clothes up and gave her everything. It wasn't a whole lot, but she can have it. Man, I'm gone. I took off and I lived in my van. I went to a lot of AA meetings. I was going to a group called Late Night Eastside on Friday and Saturday night at 10 o'clock. There was probably 70, 80 people in this meeting. Most of them anywhere from 20 to 35 years old. And that group was on fire. You know, I know y'all have heard some speakers probably that talk about pockets of enthusiasm. This was one of those enthusiastic groups of people who took meetings all over Charlotte. And I got in with them guys, and I was sitting out there outside that meeting, and they'd say, Mike, if you go where we go and do what we do, you don't ever have to drink again. And they'd said, even better than that, you don' t ever have be alone again. And they hooked me. They hooked me, and they reeled me in. And I started going to that group. And I remember I asked the guy in that meeting to be my sponsor, And he said, Mike, are you willing to go to any lengths to say so? Now, he didn't tell me what that looked like, but I said, yeah. And he says, will you freely give away what was freely given to you? Now, I didn't know what y'all were going to give me, but i said, Yeah. And he say, I'll be your sponsor. He said, where do you live at? And I said in that van right there. He said you can stay with me until you get you a place. I said Mike, give me a place in two weeks. Two and a half weeks later, I moved in next door to that guy. And we went to a lot of AA meetings. And this guy was still going to jail in sobriety. Man, they'd have an intergroup picnic. We'd get out there and they'd make a bad call in the softball game and he'd get in a fight. I'm talking about a fist fight. And two brothers jumped on me. He woke both of them out there. They ate picnics. That's why Peter got some. Man, if that dude can stay sober, he can help me stay sober. And I did, man. And that guy, he took me out of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. He took me through those 12 steps as they're outlined in the big books and shared his experience. And I had a different experience than he did because I ain't been to jail. I ain'T been arrested in 20 years, you know. But that guy – thank God for that guy. He's who I needed in my life at that time. You know, and he took us back in his home. Two weeks later, I moved in next door. We went to meetings every night, man. And we shared our lives with each other, you know. I could tell that guy things I couldn't tell anybody else. And I remember he told me, he said, Mike, meet me over here at the church early on Friday night where the home group met. And I went over there early and they had what they called a group conscious meeting. I didn't know what that was. And got in there and they didn't ask me if I wanted to do anything. They told me you're going to make coffee on Friday tonight and you're gonna chair the meeting on Saturday night. And all I could do was say, show me how. and they would show up early and they'd show me how and they hung out, you know. And this was a group, man, where they would split up in five or ten people and they Would take meetings to the jails, to the penitentiaries, to the treatment facilities, to detox, to mental health and I got in with these guys and I went with them, you now. And they talked about the men stay with the men and the women stay with women. And a lot of times when we would take these groups out we would go men and women. And they were teaching me how to respect women is what they were doing. And I started getting friendships with women. And these women, a lot of them are still in my life today and they're like sisters to me. They were teaching Me how to be friends with women instead of just looking at them as something to use. Thank God for those people. They taught me about respect. and I did and I started getting some awesome friendship in that group I went to meetings a lot every day for a long time I went to meetings and I remember I guess it wasn't long after I joined that group and I was making coffee and I Was chairing the meeting and hell I was signing my own court slip I had to get a court slip signed for two years That woman told me, she said, you can't sign your own courtship. I said, the chairman signs it and I'll chair that meeting. She said, do you chair that meet? And I said yeah, I'll share that meeting She said well good And I remember That sponsor He told me to meet him over at the church earlier one Friday night I went in there And we went into the sanctuary And the lights were real dim We got in there And we both had our books with us And he opened up his book and he started reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous to me. And I couldn't read that good. I'd read a paragraph and I couldn'T remember what I read. And I'd have to read it again and again and I was having a hard time. I couldn' t understand this stuff. And thank God for good sponsors. This guy knew. He knew. And he read to me and he shared his experience with me. And we talked about the powerlessness and the unmanageability. We talked a lot about God that night. And he pointed out something to me You know the first 60 pages of this book And also the doctor's opinion And the fours All that is All that Is like a 12 step call It's just like a12 step call Can I identify with that stuff Am I convinced That I'm powerless over alcohol My life is unmanageable Well them pages helped convince me of that That's me They wrote about in that book Am I convinced that there's some kind of power That's going to change the way I think And we talked a lot about powerlessness You know, he read to me out of the doctor's opinion That once I put alcohol in my system It sets off a phenomenon of craving It don't happen to normal people I never knew that I never had a clue about that We talked a little bit about We talked about the insanity of alcoholism In the second step He said, Mike, when we talk about the second steps The insanity, we're not talking about all the insane things you did while you drank. We're talking about you sitting in these meetings for eight months and your mind tells you, man, you can drink a couple beers, it'll be alright. That's the insanity of alcoholism. It centers right here in between my ears. It's the only illness known to man that will tell you you ain't got it. I didn't have a clue about that stuff. He said, Mike, do you believe in God? I said, I believe in god, but I don't have any faith. I don' t have any conception. He said, well, I've got some good news. You can have your own conception. You see, I was the guy who neatly obeyed God. I had a childhood God that my family tried to give me. I never had faith in that stuff. If I had faith, why am I living the way I'm living out here in the streets of Charlotte? I was living on self-will. I didn't know that. And he explained that stuff to me. And he read to me out of that book. He read a paragraph out of this book that talks about thousands of men and women, worldly indeed, that flatly declared since they came to believe in a power greater than themselves and took a certain attitude toward that power and did a few simple things, they had a revolutionary change in the way they live and think. And that's exactly what happened to me. Exactly what happened with me. And, you know, I remember this sponsor. When we sat and talked, we talked a lot. We talked every day. I was around that guy and all the guys in that group every day We were going somewhere And I remember that guy When he started taking me through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous He said, Mike, this book was written for us This is a program of action outlined in this book He said you don't have to understand anything you're doing on these 12 steps If you just take the actions that this book tells us to take, you'll stay sober. And he explained stuff like that to me. He shared his experience on what was happening. You know, and I couldn't see or feel anything when I was working in 12 steps in my life, but I can look back and see exactly what happened to me? I didn't see it or feel it when I went through it. And I was just taking the actions and I stayed sober. You know? And it was amazing. we talked a lot about selfishness and self-centeredness and he said, he read out his book we think that's the root of our problem he said you know when we work these 12 steps when we're at 4 through 9 we're going to get all that stuff that you've been stuffing down your whole life all that fear and resentment and hate and rage and we're gonna bring it out and get it on paper and it's gonna unblock you unblock me for what? unblocking you from the power Because that's what that's been doing my whole life. All that garbage has been blocking me from the God of my understanding. I never could see it. Couldn't feel Him, couldn't hear Him. And we talked a lot about selflessness and self-centeredness and the way I run my life. He read something in that book that talks about time and time again when we make decisions based on self that puts us in a position to be hurt. That's my whole live. I was running my life I was the one that made the decision to get in them vans, drive them drunk and roll them down the highways. You know? I'm the one who made the decisions to get over there in the boarding house with all them crazies over there and knowing what can happen when I go over there and get stabbed and cut up in that place. I'm not the one to make the decisions to go over here. You know, I made all my own decisions based on self because I'm selfish and self-centered to the extreme. and I said I understand that he said Mike we're going to take this third step we're gonna get on our knees and pray this prayer and we got on our knee and we prayed that third step prayer and we up off our knees and he said Mike he said I want you to get on your knees and he if you need to read it out of that book every morning and I did that and I say man I don't know if I can do that he said man when you go to bed at night keep the boots off up under the bed he said in the morning and when you get up to get your boots out from up on there, you'll already be on your knees. And he said, God likes to hear from strangers. And I'd get on my knees and I'd get that book and I'D pray it. And right below that prayer it says, these words are quite optional. You know? And I started adding stuff to that prayer. Started adding it, you know? I started praying for you people. I started playing for God, you now, thank you for putting these people in Alcoholics Anonymous in my life. bless these people in Alcoholics Anonymous and bless their families. Help them see that you're there for them. My sponsor taught me about praying unselfish prayers. You know, thank God for good sponsors. And this is the guy who's going to jail in sobriety teaching me this stuff. I was a year and a half sober. I started running around. I was going to a lot of conventions down at Myrtle Beach. And I seen this old man doing the recording. I went over and I said, man, can I help you? He walked with two canes. Couldn't see too good. I walked over and said, can i load your truck up for you? He said, yeah. Didn't even think about it. I was still wearing them cut off Harley shirts. Had hair down on my belt. Hadn't met a dentist yet in sobriety. And I still didn't have no teeth, you know. And that man said, Yeah. And he handed me the keys. He said I'm parked out in that red van. And I took off out the door where thousands of dollars worth of taping equipment. Went out there and loaded his van up. Come back in. That old man had a grin from ear to ear. And he said, Mike, how about going to Raleigh with me next week to record the North Carolina State Convention? I said, man, I'd like to. And he took me to the North Carolinian State Convention with him. We was on our way home. He said, you want to go up to Virginia Beach with me next week? I said well let me talk to my boss man. And he let me go to Virginia beach next week. And I just started going everywhere that man went. And when I was three years sober that old man became my sponsor and he gave me my dad on my three-year anniversary, and he told that story about how we met. And when I took off out the door with all his stuff in his mind, he thought, man, what did I do? That guy's going to steal all my stuff. And I realized what that grin was when I came back. He was happy to see me come back. And so it was like instant trust right there, you know. And thank God for old Buck. You know, Buck and Virginia, they hauled me everywhere they went for the next eight and a half years. They introduced me to AA and Al-Anon people from all over this country, you know. And we went to meetings every day, you know. We left Buck's house promptly at six o'clock. When he said we leave promptly at six, at six o' clock they're pulling out of the driveway. If you get there at 6.02, you're left. You know, so they started teaching me about being responsible and on time. And we started going all over the place, you know. We might go on a Wednesday night down to Myrtle Beach with Charlie and come back and go to work next day. Where I live, you can't hardly get people to go from Hendersonville to Brevard, you That's only a 20-mile stretch. So I just started doing that stuff, man, and was loving every bit of it. I started going to the penitentiary. I was traveling in bulk, and my group concerts would meet on Friday night, the first Friday of every month. Some Fridays I couldn't be there, and I'd get back and they'd say, Congratulations. And I'm saying, For what? We heard a new corrections rep. I'm like, Well, show me how. And they'd take me out to the prison. I went out to this prison, Camp Green. And we walk in the gate, man. I walk in that prison. Five of my old drinking buddies are doing time in there. Three of them are in the AA meeting. One of them, we took our first drink together. You know? I started going out to this prison every week. Went out there and I took speakers out there for the next year and a half. And me and another guy started a big book study out there in that present. And back then they had the DART program in that system there, in that president there. And it was like 70, 80 inmates in the meeting. And you never knew who was going to come in or out of there, especially on a Saturday night speaker meeting. And I'd sit up on the front row and I'd get all the speakers coming in. And I remember they gave out the chips one night and they offered the white chip. And everybody started clapping and I turned and looked and it was my counselor from treatment. And most of the counselors in this treatment center called themselves alcoholics. This counselor called himself a codependent. And I found out what he was depending on. He was depending upon us to buy his cocaine in the treatment center. And he ended up getting locked up, you know. I'm serious. Man, talk about insanity, boy. But I went out there and, man, I had some good times out there. I remember when I first started going out there, I still, you now, for three years, I didn't even get cleaned up until I was three or so, y'all. I had long hair. And I was going as president, and they would clear the yard, you know. The first time they said clear theyard, I didn't know what they were talking about. And I Was over at the canteen waiting to go get me a snicker bar and a Mountain Dew, you know. And I remember the line, just everybody took off running, you Know, and I was like, cool. And I went up to the front of the line. I didn' t know what clear the Yard meant. I was getting ready to count the inmates. And so I got up there to the, to the Front of the Line, and I asked the guy for a snicker bar and a Mountain Dew. And the sheriff came around the corner with a bullhorn, and he said, I said to clear the yard. And he grabbed me and jacked me up on the wall. And I said, man, I'm from the outside. The guy in the canteen said, wait a minute, Sergeant, he's from the inside. He's from outside. I said yeah, I am from the Outside. And this sheriff didn't say I'm sorry or anything like that. He dropped me loose and said, well, this is your lucky day boy, and turned out to walk away. The guy in the canteen said, man, I'm going to tell you what. You was getting ready to get 30 days in the hole. Man, that would have been exciting. But I had some great times in that prison. Every 28 days they'd get a whole new group of inmates come through and they'd rotate them inmates across North Carolina, around the state. Every 28 Days one of my old drinking buddies would come through there. Some of my worst enemies would come though there. It was absolutely incredible, man. And I was able to do step work for some of them guys. I was unable to take some of the men out to meetings, you know, and it was incredible. And so, you now, I just stayed in service, man. I've always had some kind of service position, and, you kno, it was just incredible, man, I loved doing service. And when I was about three years sober, you know, I had me a nice apartment, man I was living on my own, and those were the best times of my early sobriety, man And I could go and come, and I didn't have anybody to ask or to. I could just go when I wanted to go, man, and it didn't matter. And I had, man I was gone all the time somewhere. And I started collecting antique furniture. You know, I've never owned anything my whole life, and I started collectin' these antiques and I was proud of this stuff. You know and I had a house, an apartment full of this beautiful antique furniture and I come home late one night from a meeting, and I went to bed, and sometime during the night I rolled over and my arm went underwater. It woke me up. And you can imagine what I thought. I thought, well, I don't do that no more. I'll quit drinking. Some of y'all got that. And I climbed out. I got out of bed and the water was way too deep. And I was in shock, man. I didn't know what to do. And I remembered I had a camera on my entertainment center. I went over and I got it and I started flashing it. And it was on a Sunday morning and it was getting ready to turn daybreak. And it started getting a little bit lighter. And I was just standing in this stuff, man. I didn't know what to do. And that morning, it had flooded out 280 apartments. And I started hearing people waking up in that stuff, crying and screaming. And I remembered, man, I grew up on that creek bank drinking. And when the water came up, the snakes and the rats and everything was coming through there. And they were in there with me. I'm thinking, I've got to get some clothes on, right? I took off down the hall where the toilet used to be Started bubbling and I thought here they come Man this slab full of fear And I got my clothes on I went out and stepped outside my back door And the water come up to my chest And I was standing there looking at a grill floating around With a big old bullfrog on I couldn't get on my knees that morning And I looked up and I said God help me And he answered my prayer Help somebody get out And my next-door neighbor was in AA, and she was pregnant, about to have the baby any day. Well, she went into labor when that water was ankle deep. She had a little girl named Faith. And I remember I was helping my neighbors get out, and finally the rescue people got me out, and I called my first sponsor, and AA showed up. And these AA guys brought me dry clothes, and they brought me hot coffee, and they stayed with me until 1.30 that afternoon because we couldn't go back in there because the water went all the way down. And we followed that water line back in. And I remember I walked in that apartment and I'd lost everything. All them antiques was trashed. And I member we got back in the bedroom and that first sponsor grabbed me around the neck and he said, Mike, cry if you need to. And he cried with me because I was proud of that stuff. I've never had anything. And he told me something that I thought was pretty crazy. He said, Mark, maybe God wants you to have better stuff. And I wasn't feeling it. And he took me in his home, you know, and I kept my commitments. I went to work the next day, and then people said, what are you doing? I said, well, hell, I ain't got nowhere else to go. So I went into work, and I kept my commitments, I was sponsoring some guys, I was doing step work with these guys, and I was dealing with all I was supposed to be doing. You know? The big book says if we stay close to him and do his work well, he'll provide for us. I didn't know that's what I was doing. I was dealing with what y'all told me to do, stay close, keep your commitments. I did that stuff, man. I was being provided for. People in AA were taking care of me. They'd pick me up, take me to work, come get me, pick me, take my home. They gave me rides to meetings every day. They took me to my commitments. I'd walk into a meeting like this and I'd shake people's hands. People I didn'T even know would turn around and walk away and leave a $20 bill in my hand because they knew what I WAS going through. you know and that's what that's the way Alcoholics Anonymous is when they see when the people in Alcoholics Anonymous see you trying your best to stay sober they'll do anything for you and they did I could have filled this room up with furniture but I didn't have anywhere to put it so I didn'T take no furniture you know and uh man it was absolutely incredible man you know I look back today and it was one of the best things that could have happened to me back then. You couldn't have told me when I was going through it, but it's the best thing that happened to me. As a result of that, I was able to build my credit. Some incredible things happened. Two years later, those same apartments flooded out. I told them people to get flood insurance. Them guys in AA moving down there, they didn't let them get flood insurances. Them apartments was in a flood zone. They didn't get insurance. So I got home one day two years later and there was a guy I left a message on my phone and I called this guy and he was getting ready to walk into his apartment right after the water went down and he walked in and he said oh my God Mike I've lost everything I knew exactly how that guy felt I was able to share with that guy my experience of all the people who's going to come in and help me not just AA people but society people you know I was ever able to tell that guy something he probably thought it was pretty crazy maybe God wants you to have better stuff too and so you know I learned that two years later, you know. You know, one thing that I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous was when I came here and I was convinced that I'm an alcoholic, that I am powerless over alcohol, when I was convicted that some kind of power was going to help me, there it went. But anyway. I want to move on. Two years later, man, I'm learning that it don't matter what happens to me. If I stay close to you and continue doing this work, I'm going to be provided for, but there's going to somebody put in my path that's going through that same thing. And I'm gonna be able to share my experience with those people. Maybe they won't have to drink. I don't know. I don't know what God's plan is, but you know, that's what I learned, man. I learned that here, I don' t share my opinions on what you do with your life. When I'm sponsoring guys one-on-one, I d' n't share my opinion on how they live their life. Just like the great people in my life, the sponsors, they said, You go where we go and do what we do. You'll get what we get. They never told me, you better do this, you better do that. They would let me make my own mistakes, you know? And that's where growth would come when I'd make mistakes. I'd try to prove these people wrong, man, and I'd go do it my way, and it wouldn't end up good and I would go back and say, you were right, man. And I would do it the way they suggested doing it. Because they've experienced it, you now? Nobody here is going to tell you anything to do that's going to hurt you. But, you know, thank God for that. And I stayed busy. And my family's never been close. And my mom ended up living by herself. And I went to visit with her back in 96. And I remember I went in this house I grew up in and my mom lived by herself And when I went into her house, all her furniture was gone. And it was freezing cold in this house. And I went in there and I opened up the refrigerator and it was empty. And my mama looked like she was starving to death. We went back in her bedroom and she had a little heater. And I got in there and I asked my mom what was wrong and my mom had lost her job and she didn't tell anybody and she was selling all her antique furniture to pay her bills and they already turned her heat off. And she looked like She was starving to death and man, it hurt me to see her living like that. And I remember I went home that night And I sat there and I thought to myself, I'd be selfish if I didn't move home and help my mom. But I've got a whole different attitude now. And what I was going to say about that, those first two steps, that was my first awakening. I really believe that we have more than one awakening in Alcoholics Anonymous. And that was the first one. Just those first few steps. And so this was a new awakening. And it was like, I really believe today that God put me and her in each other's life where maybe we can form some kind of relationship that we've never had. I really believed that's why I ended up going back home. The last place I wanted to go at 28 years old, I wanted come home in my 30s. And I went home and I asked her, I said, can I come back home? And she said, yeah. and I took all that better stuff up there and shared it with my mom. And I'd come to these meetings and I'd ask you guys, I'd say, man, why can't I come in here and I can hug any one of y'all and tell you I love you and I couldn't even do that with my old mama? And they'd say Mike, all you've got to do is just do it. And it wasn't that easy. And I remember I went home one night and my mom was coming down the hallway and I grabbed my mom and I hugged her and told her I loved her. First time I can ever remember doing that. I'll never remember doing it. And my mom told me, I love you too. And it got easier. And we started talking. We started sitting down and actually talking to each other. She started telling me about my family. A lot of things I didn't know about my father. I didn' t know about dad. I met my dad once before that. I was 17 years old. I didn''t like him. I hated my dad. He left my mom with four kids and never gave her a dime. I hated that man. She told me my dad was a drunk in the streets of Charlotte, North Carolina. He'd been locked up hundreds of times, public drunk. Went to prison on an armed robbery charge. My mama said he was just like her. When she told me that, the resentment washed right away. Because I knew how he lived his life. And I knew that's the way I was living my life. And I know if I would have had kids out there the way i was living my life, there's no way I could have took care of them kids. That resentment washed away. You know, so I learned a lot of things about my family and about my mom that I didn't know. My mom's always took care of people. Her whole life she's taken care of People. The most unselfish woman I ever met in my life. You know? And I love that woman, man. And we became friends. Never thought that would happen. And I remember in October of 1998, I was supposed to go up to Blackstone, Virginia with Buck. And I remember my mom was sick. And I told Buck, I said, Buck, I've got to take my mom to the hospital. He said, alright. So I took her on that Thursday morning and I took她 up to the hostel and I did some x-rays and they put her in a room upstairs. And I member I got up there with my mom and I stayed with her until 7 o'clock that evening and my mom said, Mike, there's nothing you can do here. You need to be with MAA people in Virginia. And I said are you sure? She said yeah, you need to build MAA people. She loved you people. She didn't know who you were and she knew y'all saved her boy's life. And so I left and I went up to Blackstone and when I got back, I called her doctor and her doctor told me, he said, your mama has terminal lung cancer and she ain't going to live long. And I said, well how long is that? He said, maybe three months. And man, I was crushed. Here I am, I finally have a relationship with my mom and we can sit down and talk and tell each other we love each other and now she's going to be gone. And I remember I went and brought my mom home From the hospital And I took care of my mama And it was hard Late at night my mama climbed in my bed And she put her hand on my shoulder She'd be crying like a little baby And I didn't know what to say to her I'd just hold her in my arms Let her know I was there And I was reflecting over my past About all the harm I did that woman I went on these railroad tracks when I was 17 years old with a pint of Everclear and some long neck Budweiser's. I was drinking that liquor and chasing it with Budweizer and I don't remember coming off them railroad tracks. I came to the next day on the living room floor of that house and my mama knew about alcoholism. And my mama was laying in that floor in the livingroom floor holding her baby boy in her arms through his sickness. She was taking care of her baby boys. And I climbed up off that floor and I looked around that house and I broke everything in that house you could break in a drunken rage and don't even remember doing. I never thought my alcoholism affected anybody. I never had a clue how bad my alcoholismo affected people. I really believe today that my alcoholisme affected everybody I come in contact with somehow. out. And I can only imagine the fear I put in my mom and my grandparents that night. So thank God y'all taught me about being responsible and doing the next right thing. And I was supposed to be there with my mom. Nobody else was there. And I was able to be there through her sickness and hold her in my arms and let her know I was there for her through her sickness. And that I love her. Thank God we've got 12 steps we can live by and we and live a good life. She didn't have 12 steps she could live by to come out of that. And we just had an awesome friend who went the same way just recently. And thank God, man, I was able to be there. What a great honor that was to be able to clean up the mess I made in that woman's life and to be over there and to ever be there for her. And y'all taught me that. what an honor it was I was there with my mom when she died and my mama told me one thing I'll never forget stay with those people stay with those people and man I'm going to tell you what I hope to God I'm able to stay here until the day I die you know our big book is absolutely incredible you know I've went through those 12 steps I've worked them in my life. I work them on a daily basis, you know. And if you don't know, you know, the definition of the 12 steps is a group of principles spiritual in nature. If practiced as a way of life, it'll expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happy and usefully whole. Man, I want to stay happy and I wantto stay useful. I feel better about me when I'm trying to help you. I don't know how that works, but it does. And I hope I don�t ever get too selfish where I can't reach out and try to help another man because that's what saves me every time. I've been able to sponsor a lot of guys. A lot of them have been in and out of AA for a while. A Lot of them don't get it. I Don't Know How To Answer That Riddle, But I've Had two guys commit suicide. And my first one was up in Hendersonville, North Carolina. When me and my wife moved up to the mountains, man, the first guy I started sponsoring, he wanted to go to meetings. He wanted to get a job. He wanted me to go everywhere I went. But he didn't want to read this book. He didn't Want me to read him this book And about six months later his mama called me and told me she was hanging He was hanging in her basement one morning The only thing I knew to do was go over there and try to help that woman. And I was able to be there for that guy's mom. And I got to see the pain that we do in our family's lives, man. It's absolutely amazing. But I've been able to sponsor a lot of guys, and I've got five guys right now. I've Got three of them in the steps, man, and they're staying active. You know, and I love this book, man, in the chapter Working with Others. It says The first paragraph says practical experience shows that nothing will so much assure immunity from drinking as intense work with another alcoholic. It works when all other activities fail. That tells me that all the activities in Alcoholics Anonymous ain't going to keep me sober. What's going to keeps me sober is trying to work with a drunk person. Trying to work for another drunk. My first sponsor told me, he said, Mike, if you ain't trying to reach out to the new guy and try to pass this thing on, you ain'T working the 12th step. And so I've always tried to reach out to these people, to new guys. I've always been in institutions. I'VE BEEN IN 16 PRISONS ACROSS THE STATE. I COME DOWN TO ATLANTIC TO WORK BACK IN THE LATE 90'S. I ENDED UP IN A PRISONE OVER IN NOON IN GEORGIA FOR SECOND NIGHT I WAS HERE. AND THEY TOLD ME They said, I just went in there to listen to the speaker. You know, they got me in there. And all the inmates jumped up and said, we want to hear that guy next week. You know? So I've always done institution work. And me and my wife met in Alcoholics Anonymous. I met her down in Myrtle Beach in 93. And she was actually in her Liz Claiborne phase back then. And I was in my Greg Allman phase back there. And I met her at a conference, you know. And I just showed up down at Myrtle Beach at this conference. She was at the registration table. And I became friends with a lot of the primary purpose group down in Myrdle Beach. And she was in that group. And she Was married to a guy. And I Became friends with A lot of people in that Group. And every time I'd go to Myrgle Beach, I'd Go hang out with them. Or a place called Camp Monroe's, The third oldest retreat in the country down in Laurel Hill. So that whole group would go there. And I got to hang out and meet all these people. And I remember this woman telling her story in 1995, and I was recording her, as a matter of fact. And she was talking about she was getting ready to do travel nursing across the country. And I member telling her, I said, I probably won't ever see you again. And she said, we'll see each other again someday. I didn't have a clue she was going to get divorced and end up out in California, drink again, and come back. and she walked into a meeting that me and my old sponsor went to every Wednesday night. She was 20 days sober. And all the treatment center guys would hit on the women in there. And she was full of fear and scared to death and that was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to get sober. And she sat in between me and our sponsor and she knew us and she'd be safe. And she started going where we went and she sat in between us, and nobody messed with her. And she got sober, man. She picked me up. Her sponsor, she told her sponsor about me, and I knew her sponsor for years, you know. And her sponsor said, You can ask them out on a date once you get on your ninth step. She hurried up. And she asked me out on the date. And it's been history, man, I mean, we absolutely love Alcoholics Anonymous. We've always had an AA home, and we've always taken in drunks, man. I was telling her last week, we took in another stray, right? Doug comes to spend the weekend with us. We had a stray in the house. We call them strays. And we pick up strays, man, we bring them home with us, you know. We want to help them in this life. Oh, man! I'm done bringing strays home with me, man。 I'm down with it. The last stray I got got out of jail. This dude had done 24 years of his life incarcerated, you know. And I took this guy through 12 steps out of the book in the Asheville jail. Long-term inmates can do one-on-one step work in that jail. He was making amends through mail. He was cleaning up his past. He was 12-stepping inmates in the jail block, bringing them into the AA meeting. And this guy was on fire, man. He got out and he got drunk. and I ended up taking them in, man. God Almighty, I see these guys. Man, and I'm going to tell you, I see the insanity of alcoholism and I need to see it because I know, man, I'm gonna go right back there if I fail to enlarge on my spiritual life. If I failto reach out to the new guys coming in this room, I don't want to go out there and die an alcoholic death. This book right here in the 42nd edition it says it also indicated that strength work one alcoholic with another was vital for permanent recovery you don't have to relapse you can come in here and get busy and stay sober the rest of your life it guarantees you that right here in this book and I've met some of my heroes in Alcoholics Anonymous that came in here one time I know two of them Tom just picked up a 57 year chip last Saturday I called him up and talked to him Dave C over in Raleigh He'll have 56 years September 12th. You know, these guys have been around my whole sobriety, man. They're proof. They're living proof. It's been absolutely amazing. I heard a story about a man who lived on the beach and every morning he'd get up and he'd walk. And this one morning he was walking and he saw way off in the distance The guy was picking something up and throwing it in the ocean. When he got down to the man, he saw where thousands of starfish washed up on the beach. When he Got Closer to a Man, he asked the guy, he said, what are you doing? He said, well, I'm throwing these starfish back in the Ocean. And the guy said, what difference can you make? There's thousands of them. There's Thousands of them! He reached down, he picked one more up, and he said it makes all the difference in the world to this one. And he threw him back in there. He threw him in the Oceans. Gave him his life back. I can relate to that story. The way our book talks about the way we roar through people's lives like a tornado. I know my alcoholism affected everybody I come in contact with out there some way. And I really believe that the wind and that tornado stopped blowing that day I ended up in that courtroom. I know today that that judge knew more about me than I knew about myself. That judge was a sober member of Alcoholics and Honors. and out of the thousands of drums that goes through his courtroom, I was one that he picked up and threw in the rooms of our hocks and arms. He knew exactly what I needed. And as a result of becoming willing to ask another man to help me to give up everything I think I know about anything and do what these people tell me to do and work these steps the best I can and practice the principles behind these steps It's a day in the time of my life. There's no doubt in my mind that this program saved my life I buried a lot of people. I see the insanity of alcoholism all the time. I've carried quite a few caskets in sobriety. I don't want to go out of this world like that. I've had the privilege of telling my story And that same judge who sent me here Is courtroom three times And every time I sit in that courtroom Sober Telling my story to the docket There's always one of my old drinking buddies Sitting in that court room And the first time I went up in that Court room I heard him call one of his One of my older drinking buddies Back there, I've seen him Somebody tapped me on the shoulder and he said, Mike, is this your first time up here? I said, yeah. He said, what did they get you for? I said they didn't. He said why are you here? I said man, I'm the speaker. He said you're sober? I said I ain't had nothing in three years. And the judge introduced me like he was introducing me out of an AA meeting. And I got up and told them boys my story. Man, what a privilege that is. But man, let me tell you it's been absolutely incredible. and I'm looking forward to maybe hanging out with some of y'all this weekend and getting to know you and meet y'ALL it's a privilege and an honor to be able to participate in my own sobriety and thank y'All for allowing me to be here tonight and I want to tell you there's a whole bunch of guys back over here man, I met a few of them back there man you can write everything you want to down on a piece of paper and what you want out of staying sober. And I'll guarantee you, if you work these 12 steps in your life a day at a time, you'll sell yourself short. I'll grant you that. So thank all y'all for being here. Mike sings our song, doesn't he? Let's hear it one more time for Mike Burns. We have a little gift that we want to give him And it's only a small token. It's an engraved plaque that says, thank you for your service. We are not a glum lot. And it is such an honor to have cats like him come and visit with us. Thank you, Mike. I want to thank everybody that worked to put this thing together. These things just don't come together. Jackie has put together an amazing committee, and you guys stepped up once again. Tonight marks our anniversary at We Are Not a Grum Lot, and I think I might have lost count. I think this is probably number seven. And that marks a real, tonight marks a really big part of our history. The guy that Mike talked about that we just buried was my best friend and big book partner, Charlie Yow. And he was the first man to stand at this podium at one of our anniversaries. And as long as I live, I'm going to hear his voice and feel his smile and feel His hand on my shoulder. What an honor to have a friend of Charlie's come and cheer. Guys, we've got a couple of things coming up that I didn't share about, But October 24th, we'll have Chris R. back with us. And in February of next year, we've got Adam Todd coming from California. And we always try to bring the guys that bring the truth and bring the pain. You know what I'm saying? So thank you guys for being here. And again, thanks to Mike. And I'm going to let – ask Jackie to come up and wrap this up.