The Delusion That We Are Now Like Other People – Bob D.

About This Speaker Tape

River Roundup - Laughlin, NV - 2013

Bob D. traces the trajectory of a life spent hiding behind a facade from a childhood of anxious pretending to a adulthood of 'oblivion drinking.' He describes the early magic of alcohol as a cure for his secret sickness which eventually devolved into a 'perpetual motion machine' of drinking over the consequences of drinking. Bob dismantles the delusion of the 'I know guy,' detailing a failed suicide attempt on a bridge and a subsequent rescue in a Las Vegas detox. He maps out the brutal ego reduction of the Fourth Step moving from the role of prosecuting attorney to defense attorney in his own life and warns against the 'bragging rights' of long-term sobriety. He emphasizes that the only way to survive the chronic spiritual malady of self-obsession is a daily relentless commitment to the primary purpose of helping other drunks.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bob D. opens with his sobriety date: October 31, 1978.
• 4:15 Story about stealing a bottle of Seagram 7 and the first 'magical' feeling of alcohol.
• 12:30 Laughter: Bob describes the 'roulette wheel' of partying and the eventual arrival of 'wet pants' and 'diaper rash'.
• 18:45 Bob discusses the 'insidious insanity' of feeling uncomfortable everywhere and his disdain for recovery clichés.
• 26:10 Discussion of Dr. Bill B. and the necessity of overcoming excessive concentration on self.
• 34:20 The 'brain tumor' delusion and the realization that he actually had a hemorrhoid and an ulcer.
• 42:15 The failed suicide attempt on a bridge and the fear of ending up paralyzed in a charity ward.
• 51:00 Bob describes his rescue in a Las Vegas detox and the beginning of his relationship with his sponsor, Dick.
• 58:30 Detailed walkthrough of the Fourth Step process and the shift in perspective regarding his parents.
• 65:10 Discussion of the 'stones in my shoe'—the few people he has yet to find for amends.
• 72:00 Warning about the 'AA resume' and the danger of self-involvement during long-term sobriety.
• 78:15 Closing thoughts on the primary purpose and the beauty of a fellowship in action.