The Deflation at Depth That Brings a Spiritual Awakening – Wesley P.

About This Speaker Tape

Pompano Beach, Florida, 89 degrees. Wesley P. arrived at the program as a bankrupt businessman, morally and financially hollow, living in a house that wasn't a home. He spent four and a half years on the outer perimeter, staying sober by some unearned favor but remaining "malnutritious between the ears." He describes the process of recovery as "deflation at depth," a hammer and chisel used to carve out the old alcoholic self.

To stop the "stinking thinking," Wesley had to outsource his life: his wife became his financial manager and his sponsor, Chris, became his living manager. He recalls a picture of a sailor in a storm with the Prince of Peace pointing the way, realizing he had to cultivate a friendship with a Higher Power to kill the "football in his stomach." For Wesley, the Third Step is the wheelbarrow—the terrifying decision to get in and trust the ride. He doesn't regret the wreckage, only the heartaches caused to others.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Wesley P. introduces himself and gives a weather report for Pompano Beach.
• 2:30 Discussion of total bankruptcy: moral, physical, and financial.
• 6:15 The 'bird dogs' conversation: Chris C. tells Wesley P. he hasn't actually taken the first step.
• 11:40 History lesson: Bill W.'s experience with 'deflation at depth' and the book by William J.
• 17:20 Step 1: The realization that the first drink is the one that finds him.
• 21:10 Laughter: Wesley P. describes asking Rena P. to manage his money so he doesn't spend it all on wants.
• 26:45 Sponsorship: Defining a sponsor as a 'living manager' who helps with actual life problems.
• 31:00 The image of the sailor and the Prince of Peace; the start of communicating with a Higher Power.
• 36:20 The struggle with self-forgiveness and the 'football in the stomach'.
• 42:10 The wheelbarrow story: A metaphor for the Third Step commitment of trust.
• 48:50 Step 6 and 7: Discussing the 'sin of omission' and the difference between progress and perfection.
• 54:10 Closing poem about finding the Higher Power within and in the small things of nature.