The Decision to Live Your Way of Life or His – Jim W.

About This Speaker Tape

Houston, 1965. A Christmas Eve party ends in a blackout and a drive across town with no memory of how the car got home. Jim W. spent his life as a professional contradiction: a Southern Baptist who learned to drink one beer after another until he woke up throwing up, convinced that the nausea was the only proof he’d had a good time

. From the "wild and wicked" towns of Texas to a stint in the Air Force in China, Jim navigated a world of "sick women" and failed marriages, often choosing the most unstable option available. He describes a life of wreckage—razor blades in the bathroom, a boat wreck on Padre Island, and a reliance on Librium to keep from flying apart.

He lived in a state of total fright, operating on the delusion that he could simply "not think" about the drink. The narrative shifts when a "short deacon looking guy" arrives at his door, marking the end of a career spent trying to be right while destroying everything in sight.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jim W. opens with a joke about the 'Ladies' Day' atmosphere and his own health struggles with chemotherapy.
• 5:12 Laughter: Jim describes the social dynamics of his dry Texas county and the fear of being a 'backslider'.
• 12:45 Jim recounts his time in the Air Force and his 'piece of paper' education that taught him nothing.
• 22:10 A dark comedic account of a suicide attempt and the subsequent phone call from the police.
• 31:40 Jim describes his first encounter with AA and the 'milk and honey' drink that curdled in his stomach.
• 42:15 The confrontation with his sponsor: a lesson in total surrender and the requirement to stop 'trying to understand'.
• 51:20 The moment of spiritual awakening on the 610 loop in Houston.
• 58:10 Jim discusses the role of Al-Anon and the process of building a healthy relationship with Eloise E.
• 65:30 Applause: Jim closes with a reflection on being 'properly prepared' by a Higher Power through the rock crusher of life.