The Buzz of Seeing a Newcomer’s Eyes Clear Up – Jack K.

About This Speaker Tape

1983, a little yellow house in Phoenix. Jack K. walks into a room thick with cigarette smoke, a hollow shell of a man who has spent years leading with his face and chasing a buzz that only led to bullet holes in his Oldsmobile and a string of DUIs.

He grew up in a house full of elephants, watching his father—a functional drunk—pass out in a chair. Jack’s own wreckage is a blood-soaked trail of boarding school abuse, shooting dope, and a family tree pruned by "accidental suicides" and alcohol-induced tragedies. He describes the noise in his head as KF radio—scrambled, loud, and impossible to turn down.

The static only quieted when he met Ray, a produce vendor who told him they had been saving him a seat. Now, Jack finds a new buzz: watching a newcomer’s glossy eyes clear up. He relies on a Higher Power to keep the noise down, trading the expensive lifestyle of lawyers and fines for the simple freedom of being a "good sober boy."

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Jack K. discusses the 'buzz' of gratitude and the joy of seeing a newcomer's eyes clear up.
• 3:15 Childhood memories of watching his parents' parties and his father's functional alcoholism.
• 7:40 Recounts the abuse suffered at Mount St. Charles Academy in 1964.
• 12:10 Stories of working as a chef in Vermont under the erratic 'Horny H.'.
• 16:45 Arrival in Phoenix in 1982 and the 'hollow shell' he felt inside.
• 21:30 First visit to the 4848 group and meeting his sponsor, Ray D.
• 26:10 Deeply emotional account of family members lost to alcoholism and suicide.
• 31:20 The story of his father's sobriety and the dog food bag incident.
• 36:40 Discussion of the 12 Steps as 'growth steps' and the 11th and 12th Steps.
• 41:15 Reflections on his marriage and the 'L word' as a tool.
• 45:30 Laughter: Jack K. discusses 'Gus' (the guy upstairs) and his 31-second prayer.