The Broken Receiver and the Access to Grace – Bob
About This Speaker Tape
A jail cell in Maine, the smell of concrete, and the sudden, sickening realization that he had opened his friend's chest with a Hutton knife. Bob D. didn't come to the table with faith; he came with a "broken receiver." For years, he viewed a Higher Power as a cosmic judge who could see in the dark and read his mind—a lose-lose scenario for a man who felt weak and pathetic. He describes the "alcoholic death" as a long, tedious process of self-loathing where you've been in hell long before the heart stops.
He recalls a tattooed outlaw in a hospital who first cracked the steel door in his head, but the real shift happened through subtraction. He stopped trying to intellectually map out a Higher Power and instead got on his knees in a halfway house bathroom, shoving a rug under the door so no one would see him beg for help. He describes his recovery not as an addition of faith, but as a change in the "angle of approach." He is a skeptic who only believes because he can see where the l...
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