The Breakthrough from Terminal Uniqueness – Steve M.

About This Speaker Tape

Friday Night Speakers - 1986

Terminally cool and comfortably caged Steve M. spent nearly two decades chasing the ghost of his first heroin hit a feeling that remained elusive through multiple stints in the California Department of Corrections. He entered a recovery house in San Jose not out of a desire for sobriety but to beat a pending court case and eat a few pancakes. The shift happened when he stopped character-assassinating the speakers from the back row and realized that even the wealthy women from Saratoga shared his internal wreckage. Now Steve works at the same recovery house navigating the halls of county jails and courtrooms to screen new clients returning to the world of red bandanas and slam-doors as a free man. He views his sobriety as a fragile singular chance knowing he doesn't have another 36 years to waste on a second recovery.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Steve M. introduces himself as an alcoholic and drug addict.
• 2:15 Discussion of the 1960s Haight-Ashbury scene and the progression from marijuana to LSD and heroin.
• 5:30 Laughter: Steve describes the 'education' provided by the California Department of Corrections.
• 8:10 The moment of clarity regarding the 'stark reality' that things never change for the addict.
• 11:20 Steve describes the motivation of wanting to beat a court case by entering a recovery house.
• 14:45 The 'sum total' of 36 years of self-will: a bag with Levi's, tennis shoes, and a toothbrush.
• 17:10 Identification: Realizing that people from Saratoga and Los Gatos felt the same way he did.
• 19:30 Mention of Step 4 (Moral Inventory) and the fear of admitting weakness.
• 22:15 The 'visible miracle' of the judge granting a suspended sentence.
• 24:50 Steve describes his current work screening clients in county jail.
• 27:00 Closing thoughts on gratitude and the metaphor of the card game of life.