The Book Club Where Nobody Actually Read the Book – Anthony A.

Hi, everybody. My name is Anthony, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, recovered alcoholic, real alcoholic, ex-problem drinker, and all that good stuff. Hi, Lola. It's so good to see everybody. Russell, Lily, especially Dixie305, and then Daniel, right? I mean, how much joy have I got listening to myself for the last three months? It's unbelievable, right, So thank you so much all for being here. I know who you are and I see you all the time and it means the world, right? So step 12, right, it's a tricky one because it's like a lot of things two parts, right. Having had a spiritual awakening, right having formed a relationship with God as the not as a result, as it's often misread. You listen to how it works 50-60% of the time. I don't know why. It's got to be something human, but they read as a result of these steps. It's the result of these step. The spiritual awakening is the result of these steppes. And then it says we try to carry this message, this one, the one that's in this book right or the big book two alcoholics and then a third and then to practice these principles in all our affairs so there's a lot of stuff going on here you know and i'll tell you from experience and i don't know if many people get any of the three but you get cake i was listening to a russell williams sent me a beautiful russell chat from 2013 remind me him remind um me or william to send it to you i listened to it the other night and man oh man he was he was really harping on that you know you can go to these fellowship meetings and you can do all this stuff for so long and get cake and you know they don't ask you if you killed anybody or if you know all and i was listening to it i'm like man oh ma'am i'm just like a a parakeet just cheap and you know just repeating what he says and and i don't even know because he hasn't really said it so much recently but let's listen what we just said here again having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps right we tried to carry this message to alcoholics i'm just going to let you know i'm texting with melissa you know one of the people we're working with she's working with is left a little bit of what we're doing and wants to concentrate on what he or she is doing i'm not going to tell you who it is but they want to do more get better for myself stuff right missing what this 12 step says right carry this message other and then practice these principles in all my affairs so what does it talk about i have written across the top i'm in the 12 and 12 right we're gonna have to do some speed stuff tonight so we won't be reading i'm going to be pointing out a lot of stuff i will let you know also i am in uh my son is graduating from college so we're out here and we're staying at a house that's connected to where some kids are staying and there's about 60 kids 20 feet from me drinking a lot beer and i'm happy for them right but that's what's going on so and i'm not distracted by it it talks about emotional sobriety god others and self is what this step says god others self i am third if anybody knows that quote right i have it on a chain um i am 3rd i'm 2nd i'm 3rd god others then me my old formula was me, me, me, me, me, me, me. I'll pretend you for a little while and then maybe I'll say a prayer, which I don't even know who I'm praying to. It says emotional sobriety. Action is the key. Turn outward toward our fellow alcoholics in distress. The kind of giving we experience here, we begin to practice and this 12 and 12 is going to mention all 12 steps so many times. It just says all the steps, all 12 steps. So it means I can't do just a little bit. I've got to do the whole gig to have emotional sobriety. Our 12-step also says as a result of practicing all the steps, we have each found something called the spiritual awakening. When a man or woman at the bottom of the page has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do on his unaided strength and resources alone. no human power right transformed strength free gift right middle of uh 107 a's matter make you ready to receive this gift right lies in the practice of the 12 steps in our program the 12 steps here are the steps we took which is suggested as a program of recovery steps steps steps right now and it doesn't matter how long you have and how know how much you know this book I'm telling you I can take times off from these steps I can be around them and doing all that stuff but I'm sitting here I go I haven't been doing this I haven' been doing I haven't been doing this and then I don't feel as good a's matter make it very safe is in this program right and then it says down at the bottom here we go they start going through the steps step one showed us look at what step 3 system it says in step three we turned our we turned out willing all eyes over the care of God is gonna sit here check this line out guys for the time being we We who were atheists or agnostic, remember they started the sentence out with for the time being, discovered that our own group for the time being as a whole would suffice as a higher power, right? And it goes through the steps. We don't have to go through each of the steps, it'll take you here if you want to do that. What does it say? Confide these to God, right, humbly ask God. down at the bottom of one away higher power was worth knowing better my wife and i went to mass today here at school and the uh the priest in his homily was was saying we don't treat god like a person we don'T want to have that relationship with him we want to make him into almost like a celebrity and he wants to be a person with us someone we had this relationship with and that's all this talks about getting to know better right and here we go again it says so practicing these steps i'm on 109 we have a spiritual awakening here wego again changes it says from great numbers of such experience we could predict that the doubter agnostic atheist skeptic prejudice one whatever you want to call it who still claimed that he hadn't got the spiritual angle and who still considered his well they said a page ago it's okay for the time being bait and switch bait and switched bait and switched right and now it says who still considered as well of a group the higher power would presently love God and call him by name a page later not two decades a page later they'll call god by name um let's go to 110 practically every a member declares that no satisfaction has been deeper and no joy greater than a 12-step job well done and i'm letting you know from experience my own experience and what i view most people that come to aa that celebrate right that sponsor don't do this right but they'll tell how their sponsor used to do it and they'll tell all that stuff it says hold on a second let's go to let's go to 111 down near the bottom but in the longer run we clearly realize that these are only the pains of growing up and nothing but good can come from them And if we turn more and more to the entire 12 steps for answers, you know, pain. Consider it pure joy. We don't want to go through pain. And our book tells us in our bigger book, the Bible and all the stuff, and James, consider it pure joys, brothers and sisters, when you have trials of any kind because if you persevere, you'll become mature. you'll have eternal life it's okay to be persecuted when people talk out against you when you're speaking for him it's ok it's supposed to bring you the joy of all joy beautiful stuff let's turn to 112 three-quarters of the way down we know this because we see monotony pain even calamity turned into good news by by those who keep on trying to practice AA's 12 steps. If you're Spanish, doce, 12 steps, all of them it keeps saying. And if these are facts of life for the many alcoholics who have recovered, it even says recovered in the second book, right? The easy book, the 12 and 12 that they won't pay attention to. They can become the facts for many more. top of the next page we temporarily cease to grow because we feel satisfied there is no need for all of aa's 12 steps and then it tells us how we have you know we get a job we start to feel important i can't make as many meetings i've been really busy i got kids i got baseball i'm a coach you don't understand you don'T UNDERSTAND i find myself lying on the couch for three weeks you DON'T UNTERSTAND you DONT UNDERStAND you donT UNTERStAND i stop do that stuff most people never do it i'm going to keep saying that right and then these next pages it says god god god 114 god um middle of 114 our answer is still more spiritual development useful living and then at the bottom of 111 we shall be pulled back into disillusionment but when we are willing to play spiritual growth first then and only then do we have a real chance again i'm just talking about somebody that we were literally talking about as the meeting was starting, that's moved away from here because they want to concentrate on themselves a little bit more. Their self-improvement. And it tells me here, that kills me. That kills me if I'm a real alcoholic. Here it says, big if, on the top of 115, after we come into AA, if we keep on growing, our attitudes and actions towards security and emotional security and financial security commence to change profoundly Our demand for emotional security, for our own way, had constantly thrown us into unworkable relationships with other people. Which it earlier said in this book is the cause of my alcoholism. Right? We were bitterly hurt, disappointed, we blamed men. It calls us infants in the middle of the page. It says this caused people to push us aside or desert us entirely because we're acting childishly. We want everybody to be our parents. Look at this. grow next page it uses so many we're not grown up it says grown-up people is what it's saying to when we persistently did someone 116 on the other top we gradually found that people were attracted to us as never before and then it says when we've developed still more we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be our sponsors he he you know it doesn't say that he he he it says to be god himself capital g capital himself h right his perfect justice right upon god we couldn't play god we can't have human protection emotional security down at the bottom of the page and then it says in the next two paragraphs down at 116 on the bottom 117 either by dominating or dependent right I'm either dominating you or I want you to take good care of me dominate you or take good care of me that's when they flee parents even want to flee the ones that love us the most right it says down 117 this mighty urge is the root of great human accomplishments a creative energy that deeply influences our life god fashioned us that way so our question will be this how by ignorance i know we hate that word because we're so ignorant sometimes we think we'reso smart but we really know we're not right right compulsion and self-will do we misuse this gift for our own destruction right self-imposed who made the problem we do middle of 118 nevertheless under the influence of AA's six steps four steps whatever steps you want to do no twelve steps it says these situations are often set right if we go to 119 in the middle the page he persistently tries all of aah 12 steps in his home 12 meetings i went to large mount meetings for a couple years and i just highlighted it and the stuff that you see when you listen and when you read it over and over again you sit here and i know most people didn't see that it says all of ah 12 steps all the time in here it just keeps over and on over and over again saying the same thing emotional levels emotional handicap grown-up attitudes man bill is just calling us children children children um let's go to the middle of 121 and worst of all we forgot god how's that and then it says our dependence upon god we were still the victims of unreasonable fears even with 25 years i can tell you from recent activity emotional fear still can dominate me it says but as time passed we found that with the help of aa's 12 steps right we could lose those fears the next page 122 our spiritual condition god's help fear fear fear for your fear for fear it says and then um on 123 childish emotionally sensitive and grandiose even though we have adult dreams we're truly childish fears anxiety reasonable fears fear depressed abnormally fearful all words on page 123 right and then another death threat at the top of 124. The result was the same. All of us had nearly perished, died, death threat in a sea of alcohol. Down at the bottom of 124, look at how beautiful this is. God's help, God's sight, God's scheme of things. Yum, yum, yum. And it says right here what true ambition is, the last sentence on 124 top of 125. True ambition is the deep desire not just the regular desire the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God middle of the page with him who presides over all of us oh man oh man oh man with each passing day of our lives may every one of us sense more deeply the inner meaning of a simple prayer God grant us serenity accept the things we cannot change courage change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference emotional sobriety 12 and 12 is gorgeous and from what i understand jen and judy are going to be starting a study of the 12 and12 this was just a primer an appetizer right for them who knew right but that's the 12 step in the 12and12 now get a cup get an extra cup get a lid get one of the straws with all the swirlies in it whatever you call that because we got some juice let's turn the page 89, and I know we're on 12th step because on 88 it says the next chapter is entirely devoted to step 12. Go into 99% of the meetings of AA in the world and say to them, where in the big book is the 12th steps? And you're going to get the same answer I would have given you. Huh? What? What? It says right here, the next chapters entirely devoted to step twelve. And what does it say practical experience shows that nothing nothing right will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics and nobody does it nobody wants to work with other alcoholic our book says it is the best insurance we can get and we've turned into a fellowship that wants to take care of themselves just the facts guys all right and i'm saying it From bitter experience, from teaching that that's what you're supposed to do. Just go take care of yourself. Go get self better. And we always end up, if we're real alcoholics, worse. This is our 12th suggestion. Carry this message to other alcoholics. Which message? The one in the book, right? It's all been laid out for you. Life will take on new meaning. This first 100 tell us this is an experience you must not miss. Most people miss it. And then they say, we know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers. Who cares about the newcomer? I just come here to feel better. And with each other is a bright spot of our life. So that means most of us are missing the bright spot. Right? It says at the bottom of the page that, well, it says that doctors, ministers, priests and hospitals can help you find people. but don't talk about it so much because prejudice exists. It says we're uniquely useful, right? Again, I think I want to be a great marketer and a stock trader and a market prognosticator and all these other things that I think I wantto be, whereas God has made me uniquely useful literally to read these books and to learn what it says here and help other people with it. And sometimes by going out with this unique gift that he's given me, I'm going to subject myself to criticism, right? Because Russell said this so long, I'M GOING TO PISS SOME PEOPLE OFF. If you talk about this book and you talk ABOUT GOD, you're going to piss people off. And if you talk About These Books, you'RE GOING to talk about God because it's all it talks about. it says when you discover it says this on page 90, page 95 96, it says when you're on the top of 90 when you find out all you can about him if he does not want to stop drinking don't waste time stop wasting time on the people that don't want to stop, their time sucks stop you may spoil a later opportunity right, and then it says go drink on the next paragraph. Sometimes it's wise to wait until he goes on a binge. Let them drink. Let them drink. If he wants to quit for good and go to any extreme, he says, yes, attention should be drawn to you. You should be introduced to him as a person who has recovered. We're in a room where there's so many different people when we go to these AA meetings. practicing so many different forms of some type of program that we should say look if we're all going to hang out together that's fine right we have to be loving and tolerant but one person should say hey i'm an agnostic and i don't do this god stuff right i can help you by doing this and the other person should tell you i'm recovered i've been through these steps that's what this was meant to do but i'll let you know they didn't let the people stay that were agnostic before they told them there's really no agnostics right and it's really going to hurt you if you believe you are one because you're going to believe in your own power of reason right um give him the book to read write on mount 91 let the doctor tell him that he has a solution and then it says here this is why you're supposed to let him go drink in the middle of 91 calling him while he's still jittery from freaking drinking right he may be more receptive when depressed when we drink or overeat or sin or whatever we do we usually get depressed instead of god instead of helping others and it usually gets us jittering depressed so you can get jittery and depressed i know from experience even recent by just sinning right by not doing the program as it's laid out all 12 steps um down at the bottom of the page this is why i think we haven't grown for 20 years again 2 million in 2000 2 million into 2020 or maybe 20. i think they're lying a little bit it says approximately in the big book down at the bottom now it says when he sees you know all about the drinking game commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic they're talking about a real alcoholic but most people don't understand what alcoholism is you can be in the aa you could be the chair person you could Beater greeter you could the local rep you could The Treasurer and you do not have to have a clue about what alcoholism is what a real alcoholic is that's what's happened right just think about that right think about being in a book club and showing up every week without the book and you get to talk longer than the people that read the book think about that it's just the truth right it says on the top of 92 show them the mental twist which leads to the first drink of his spree but if you don't know about the mental choice from the doctor's opinion and more about alcoholism and there's a solution, you're not going to be able to tell them. So you're going to tell him, you know what? Just stay until the miracle happens. Keep coming back. Bring all your problems here and share about them. Because you don't know what to tell them. I know this from experience. This is what I did. Keep coming back. And when they drink or when they die, what do we all say in a little group? I must not have wanted it. Yeah, you didn't know whatto tell them? You didn't know how to help them it says right here it says i love this because it always goes back to the chapter on alcohol show him that it says we suggest you do this as we have done it we showed you all about it in more about alcoholism now they're telling you go show him in more about alcohol right uh if you're satisfied he's a real alcoholic but how would you know if he's a real alcoholic, and that's why people don't like this book. It makes them feel dumb because they don't know what it's in here. So I don't want to talk about this book, and if I'm coming to a meeting and we're on this, I'll do the penance of going through the meeting and listening to it, even reading it, but I'm slapping this book closed afterwards, and I'm talking about tony i know i know tony really well that's me it's my pseudonym right i don't know what this book says so i'm going to talk about me which i'm an expert on in fact i might even make some shit up that you're going to believe because it's aa and we trust everyone and we love everyone But the book says here, I'm supposed to tell them about alcoholism. So I better learn. Then it says continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. I'm in the middle of the page 92. Talk about the conditions of body and mind from the doctor's opinion. But if you don't know him, what are you going to talk about? Mwah, mwah, мwah, me, me. me what i'm an expert i'm going to talk about what i know i don't want to feel stupid i feel stupid inside already and i'm not gonna let you know i feel stupid so i'm gonna tell you something and i's usually gonna make something up right that makes you like me give me attention right and i'm an expert at that anybody know how to do that anybody been on meetings with people that do that oh they're probably not here because they don't come to these type of meetings they don'T get a chance to share let's get back to it here says at the top of 93 tell them exactly what happened you stress the spiritual feature freely oh boy the main thing is that he'd be willing to believe in a power greater than himself and he lived by spiritual principles down on 94 outlined the program of action it says hope the only thing we hope right our only charge is that you will help other alcoholics when you escape right it says down at the bottom of 94 in your first visit tell them about the fellowship capitalized the fellowship of the Holy Spirit of Alcoholics Anonymous if he shows interest lend him a copy of your book it says offer him friendship and fellowship i'm in the middle of 95 tell him if he wants to get well you'll do anything to help him ask him to read this book and here we go again what is this book about i'm on the bottom of 95 it says if he is to find god well what the hell would he be finding god for we're trying not to drink book tells me if he's to find God the desire must come from within they're talking about success in this program then it says the first 100 say we have no monopoly on god just an approach that work with us just try to be friendly again 96 do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once i'm letting you know from experience most will not search out another alcoholic and try again that means like go try to find go fish the fishing channel right we're the fishing channel now our commercials are about fish we try to fish, we get fish we're The Fishing Network you are sure to find someone desperate enough to access eagerness what you have to offer we find it a waste of time like they said on page 90 keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you if you leave him alone he'll be convinced he cannot recover by himself usually by drinking some more I love what it says here. It says, one of our fellows should fail entirely his first half-done program. He often says that if he continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others who have since recovered of their chance. So if I keep wasting time on people that are just going to waste my time, I'm depriving other people the chance to recover. 97. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. Kindly act once in a while is not enough. You have to act the capitalized good Samaritan G-S Thursday and Tuesday and Monday Saturday, Friday Sunday, Wednesday every day but I want to do it when I feel like doing it and then I wonder why I don't you know, feel good sometimes pretty crazy let's turn 98 it says about ten sentences down the minute we put our work into service plenty of alcohol and commences to rely upon our assistance our human assistance right rather than upon God I just got a thing that flashed across my screen it said Anthony you have said God one million times during this step series congratulations so i was just reading too so if that throws you off that's pretty cool job or no job wife or no wife we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence upon god i mean i'm gonna go to russell the 12 words his wife said is there any simpler words than that is that hard to understand where did we come up with the stuff that we talk about in meetings today we made up a new gig and we still call it aa we made up a New Gig next paragraph burn the idea like that means tell them over and we're gonna consciousness of every man and women woman didn't get well regardless of any people anyone the only condition not again not another tough thing to understand the only conditions that he trusts God in clean house trust God and do the inventory and then make your amends here we go again middle of 99 but we must try to repair the damage immediately how many people stop before they make their amends it says we must repair the damaged immediately unless we pay the penalty by spree why are 90 95 percent of the people that come into our fellowship drinking it says it right here they're not doing work but they're not even getting to the point where they don't realize they're doing the work, they're not repairing damage. Most of them aren't taking inventory. And most of them have like 15, 18 years or nine years or seven years or 14 years and never have done this stuff. Let the alcohol continues program day by day. Here we go. Bottom of 99. We're going to get into stuff right here. Like if you've been hanging around with us and reading the book, this won't be new to you, but you're going to read some stuff here which is just completely the opposite of what i was told and what i told and what I taught and whatI gave advice on in AA for almost 20 years it says let no alcohol say he cannot recover unless he has his family back it just isn't so in some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another that's all cool and dandy but let's listen to this because they tell the new how many people come on the meetings and there are fighters for the newcomer They haven't worked with one for 14 years, but I'm going to fight for the newcomer and stick up for the newcomer. Here we go. Let's tell them what the book says to say to the newcomor. Remind the prospect, I'm sorry, you already told him on your first visit. This is the second visit. Remind The Prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. This is what we tell newcomers. But we get all the superheroes that come in that are prejudiced and don't want to talk about God themselves. We don't need to talk About God, the newcomer. The newcomer doesn't need To hear this. I'm just looking out for the newcomor. Crap. Crap is what you're hearing. You're hearing the prejudiced people, right, that have the biggest voice in AA now, which weren't allowed to stay in the 30s and 40s. I'm just letting you know we've read the history. We read it over and over again. We have a new Program its only problem is they still call it a a and we hang out in the same rooms Or we used to have to before zoom Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual forget if you persist remarkable things will happen And if you don't Remarkable shit won't happen That's what it says there. If you don't, you ain't getting no coke. When we look back and realize the thing which came to us in ourselves, when we put ourselves in God's hands, not our sponsor's hands. Not our group's hands again. Rehabs, the USAC 1970 changed our whole gig, guys. Follow the dictates of your sponsor. It doesn't say that. Follow the dictates of a higher power, and you will presently live in a wonderful world no matter what your present circumstances is. Down at the bottom of 100, here's a big assumption. It's like an if. Assuming we are spiritually fit. Hee, hee, heee, heey. Assuming We Are Spiritually Fit. Not an easy task. We can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. Well, who says we're not supposedto do them? Let's read. People have said we must look at all the musts, too. These are prejudiced people unarmed with the facts. Right. In the 30s, they were doing this. And now they're a powerful faction of the Fellowship of AA. It says we must not go where liquor is served. There's liquor served right there. I'm here. We're safe. Right. We must not have it in our homes. There's wine right there, and my wife drinks wine. We must shun friends who drink. All my friends drink, right? All my Friends that aren't in the Fellowship drink. There isn't one person that doesn't drink that's my friend, right. They all drink. We must avoid moving pictures. I can't go to the freaking movies, Cindy. Jen, can I go? I'm going to Canada because I can' t go to the movies if there's any alcohol in it. stay with people places and things bermuda triangle november right i gotta avoid thanksgiving christmas and new year so i gotta get stop drinking fight the thing every day and miss out on the best three holidays of the year because i'm i'm frozen in aa oh hold on there's more we must not go into bars i was in a bar tonight for dinner with my family uh our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses man oh man there'd be a lot of hide and seek going on in my friend's houses right we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all it's so weak it's such a weak thing that we hear right our experience the first one shows us not as so we meet these conditions every day an alcoholic who cannot meet them still has an alcoholic mind there's your answer for anti recovered the opposite of recovered is alcoholic mind without drinking you could be the group chairperson you can still have an alcoholic mind you haven't recovered yet the obsession is not gone if in all these 12 weeks that's the only thing we learn that's a beautiful thing because That helps me find God. There's something the matter with the spiritual status. Unbelievable. We can't shield the man, right? People, places and things is a way to shield. The book says we can't show the man from attention. We're doomed to failure. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. So they have a rule too. It says it's not to avoid a place where there is drinking if we have a legitimate reason for being there. It might seem like tempting God, providence, but it's not. It says you may not have made an important qualification, therefore ask yourself on each occasion, have I any good social business or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I a stealer? Am I a thief? Am I trying to steal a little vicarious pleasure? Am I still a thief?" And on 102 they say, go or stay away. Just like they said about the sex stuff. We don't want to be the arbiter of what you do, right? I'm going to read something because this is really important. Terry just sent something out before the meeting started, and it's from – let's call it a little bit of a sarcastic book. It says, so even though our sponsors do not trust their own thinking when it comes to their own lives, We completely trust their thinking when it comes to ours, allowing them to carefully map out our path our soul needs to take in step nine. We're getting advice from people who have alcoholic minds and it's the Prell commercial. And they told two people and they told three people, right? And we're losing all these people and the only people that are staying are the grumpy old alcoholics without a spiritual solution. now there might be a couple of nice people again i love aa but i'm just telling you what i what i've been through and what i see it says go or stay away whatever seems to be but sure you're on spiritual solid spiritual ground before you start um but here we go then anybody ever hear this in a meeting but if you are shaky right you had better work with another alcoholic instead you know what they tell you in aa don't go to the weddings or if you go to the weddings and i say this all the time so if you've heard it but it's still really important they tell us in aa and i know you've heard this if you haven't come to new york don't go to weddings if you have to go go late bring well when i came in bring quarters because you didn't have a cell phone call your sponsor and your people a whole meeting the whole wedding and then leave early so it tells me in our book that selfishness is the key to my problem and how selfish are you your brother and new sister-in-law are getting married they invited you to the wedding they paid 300 for you and your drunk girlfriend right to come to the wedding and you got there late you called your sponsor the whole time and you left early why do you think we have trouble with personal and that's what we were told to do by the people who are running our lives in aa i don't know it says here you know work with other people instead right and then it tells me there's no unemployment in aa down at the bottom 102 your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an era. Here we go again. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. That's not what I heard 20 years and I go back to those meetings sometimes when they ask me to speak or if a friend is speaking and they're saying the same stuff, dudes. they didn't come to any meetings on zoom they're back in person now wherever they're doing and they're at the same place and they're still saying the same crap right it says here many of us keep liquor in our homes my wife is behind me probably getting some liquor i'm just being honest oh she's getting chocolate she said i'm kidding but they could say chocolate we often need to carry green recruits to a severe illness. Some of us will serve it to our friends, provide it. They're not alcoholics. I serve alcohol to my friends when they come over. My wife and I, we keep it in the same refrigerator. The water, the club soda, the cool Pellegrino, there's beer in there, there's wine, right? And then it says we are... Oh my God, this is so beautiful, 103. We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for the spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witch burners. Well, if you go to some AA meetings, you're going to find some witch burnERS. They don't introduce themselves as witch burnERs, right? But they are showing some intolerance of drinking. It says a spirit of intolerance might repel – listen to this, guys. a spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose life could have been saved so that means if i have the power to save them peter rebecca trish melissa william rose i don't want to i'm going to miss a lot of people jesse that means i have to kill them also and i'm sure i did and it hurts me all the time when i think about it so i my my journey is to show as many people as I can what it says in here, so that we don't have to kill people anymore. It says, someday we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem. But we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it. They won't stand forit, guys. drinkers will not stand for it and then it says after all problems were of our own making bottles were only a symbol listen to any russell spatz thing listen to anybody who knows what they're talking about from these books the drinking is just the admittance fee right it's your auntie at the poker game besides we have stopped fighting anybody or anyone we have to guys the 12 steps are the most beautiful thing in the whole world that you know if you're an alcoholic a real alcoholic but you know, if you don't know how to find out if you want we'll show you right so that you could show other people and we could just keep fishing. I love you guys. Thank you so much for having me. This has been one of the best experiences I've ever had. thank you. Thank you Anthony.